I told off new mum

Bit rude and completely wrong!! There may have been many reasons why she was out, and giving birth isn’t an illness.

She probably wanted a bit of fresh air, or could have an urgent chore, or need to collect an older child. I didn’t have the luxury of rest much after baby number three or four and I was in my forties!

She is probably on Mumsnet saying " Aibu about some random women coming up to me in John Lewis saying I should be resting 3 days post partum" 🤐🤐

Biscuitmuncher well meaning, but a bit tactless.

Biscuitmuncher

Oreo thank you, I thought I was being caring, but I'm obviously some sort of monster

No you're not a monster, but you really shouldn't have said anything - it's not your business. Apologies for saying she told you off - I assumed that she had and I shouldn't have.

When a Mum is ready to be out and about is purely personal.
With a six year old , a three year old and a week old baby we went off on our summer holiday in our touring caravan. Most people were amazed.

Well sometimes BlueBelle it's best to be in the minority.

I can remember several occasions when I was out with the pram plus toddlers when I would be spoken to and advised by an older woman. Once I was reminded to enjoy my baby and to not be in a hurry all the time. Housework can wait.

Oreo thank you, I thought I was being caring, but I'm obviously some sort of monster

My son was 8 days old when we went with friends to an antique fair. People expressed surprise when they looked in the pram but I felt fine. My grandmother gave birth to my father and then got up and made the family dinner. Pregnancy and birth have been too medicalised and women don’t necessarily need to stay home and rest after giving birth. If they choose to go out, it is up to them, not anybody else.

mae13

Maybe she is on her own - and the groceries won't walk home by themselves.

She was in Zara FGS.

Grammaretto

I think there is a real problem in our society that too many people mind their own business and are afraid to speak their mind and give gentle advice on occasion.

We older people can be a real source of wisdom and support to the younger generation. Reassuring them and encouraging.

Better surely to say what you think and instigate discussion rather than tut tutting behind backs or picking quarrells with eachother on here.

I agree with you.
It’s sad that so many older women on this forum delight in sticking it to another poster, in this case the OP.In some cases many times on the same thread.

Maybe she is on her own - and the groceries won't walk home by themselves.

Nothing to do with ‘the times’ if someone had said that to me 50 years ago I d have been annoyed It’s about being polite and the title of the thread is I told off new mum that’s not meaningful advice that’s rude.
Granmaretto no one is picking a quarrel on here 99% of the posts are in perfect agreement

Grammaretto exactly, how many times have awful things happened because no one spoke up

Nmama aw thanks xx

Aren't you just special, OP?

I think there is a real problem in our society that too many people mind their own business and are afraid to speak their mind and give gentle advice on occasion.

We older people can be a real source of wisdom and support to the younger generation. Reassuring them and encouraging.

Better surely to say what you think and instigate discussion rather than tut tutting behind backs or picking quarrells with eachother on here.

Well o hope she asked what business you thought it was of yours.! A new mum has enough to worry about without the opinions of random older ladies in the shops. Imagine if she’d ask how old you were and my gosh shouldnt such elderly people be resting !

…and your title is I told off new Mum not a pleasant thing to do and absolutely none of your business whether it was one day after or ten days after

Not a helpful comment. You know nothing of her life. If you can’t be nice, say nothing.

Haha doesn’t make it any better biscuitcruncher you spoke out iof turn and were judgemental out of turn too

OurKid1 where did I say she told me off? I never said what she did! In fact she smiled and said yes I'm tired

John Lewis, Oxford Street 25 years ago, pushing a pram in the Babywear/necessities department. An older woman admired my 2 day old grandson, then said in a slightly shocked, suspicious tone ‘But where is the mother?’ Pointing, I assured the woman ‘In that cubicle trying on nursing bras.’ No, I hadn’t just walked off with a pram and tiny occupant.
Next day we went for lunch to a restaurant with many outdoor tables. I’m sitting with little GS, another older woman at a nearby table admires him, then says with surprise ‘But where is Mama?’ I may have sighed as I assured her ‘Mama is looking for a parking space!’ My DD apppeared eventually with 3 year old who chose his favourite meal, not from child’s menu. ‘Surely he won’t eat all that!’ observed the same woman. I may have sounded a little harsh as I responded ‘No, but he will greatly enjoy what he does eat!’ I had ordered a fairly small dish as I knew there would be leftovers to finish up.

Let's hope, as can happen, that the new mother hadn't taken her newborn back to an empty flat with no supportive family to admire her baby and boost her confidence. You seem to be pleased with your telling off, but you have no idea of any consequence that it may have had for the woman.

Biscuitmuncher

I "told her off" with kindness, I suppose I remember how awful I felt after giving birth and Zaras would be the last place on earth I would have been

In your defence Biscuitmuncher I also felt dreadful after giving birth and going out shopping was the last thing I wanted to do.

I was shocked, and appalled about a young couple with a toddler in a pushchair on the bus recently......the child was irritable and fractious and another passenger offered the parents grapes for her.........they were oblivious as to what was going on as both sat there glued to their mobiles. Generous of the other passenger but a choking hazard for the toddler who was cramming the grapes into her mouth, unobserved by anyone else but me - at one point she had several in at the same time.

I was always of the opinion that grapes and cherry tomatoes should always be cut in half for toddlers and young children - I did exactly that as did my AC.

We have beautiful photos of our first-born out for her 1st walk in the baby sling at a local beauty spot - on day 2 or 3. We took her 100miles north that same weekend to surprise my lovely dad for Father's day.

Some of us are fortunate in that we recover quickly.