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I told off new mum

(122 Posts)
henetha Mon 10-Jun-24 23:17:14

It's not good to "tell her off," as you put it. Whether you were right or wrong it was not your place to chastise her.

Kate1949 Mon 10-Jun-24 23:13:39

Agreed

Callistemon21 Mon 10-Jun-24 23:12:27

Poking your head in the pram to peek was wrong, too.

You could have had a cold, a virus, even Covid without symptoms.

Kate1949 Mon 10-Jun-24 23:02:04

Cheek not cheeky.

Kate1949 Mon 10-Jun-24 23:01:10

Being a new mum is stressful enough without being told off by a stranger. What a cheeky.

CanadianGran Mon 10-Jun-24 22:46:13

I remember being similarly scolded (in a kind way) when I went to the bank a few days after my youngest was born. An elderly woman asked to see the baby, and said 'surely he isn't yours!' When I confirmed that I had just had him 3 days before she was shocked that I was on my feet, never-mind out the door!

"Back in her day" women stayed in bed for 10 days. I'm afraid we don't have the health care in place for this now! It is best to be up and active, within limits, of course.

bridie54 Mon 10-Jun-24 22:40:05

I was on a high after my DD was born naturally. This after a very lengthy induced and 'managed' birth for her big brother 3 years previously.

So after 3 days in hospital I didn't want to rest and stay indoors. I went food shopping taking her in her pram at 5 days old. She was duly admired by an elderly lady who was really surprised when I told her how old she was. She didn't say anything else other than to admire her pink patchwork pram cover.

So I don't see where you are coming from saying a new mum should be at home resting. Maybe some will need to rest, but there will be others like me who just didn't need to.

keepingquiet Mon 10-Jun-24 22:37:05

I was out and about a couple of days after my second was born- someone had to do the shopping!

Primrose53 Mon 10-Jun-24 22:35:39

On hols last week it was 28c and a very handsome young couple sat down next to us. The Mum had a tiny baby strapped to her front very tightly and all you could see was the baby’s hat. The baby was silent and I actually wondered if it had stopped breathing as it was so hot and must have been boiling strapped between her breasts facing inwards.

She said the baby was 4 weeks old. I pretended I knew nothing about baby slings and asked how they breathe with their faces pushed in like that. The Daddy said there was a gap at the side but I was not convinced and couldn’t see a gap.

VioletSky Mon 10-Jun-24 22:34:50

I matched off to get my boys football back from a cranky person a few days after a c section lol

tanith Mon 10-Jun-24 22:32:46

My daughter came straight to my house to pick up her other children after a 6 hr discharge from delivering her son. She went home and carried on with her normal routine including getting the children to school. I’m pretty sure she’d of gone shopping the next day too. A lot of Mums don’t have the luxury of resting after giving birth they just up and get on with their lives. I think you should of said nothing.

Galaxy Mon 10-Jun-24 22:31:28

I think I nearly broke the door down wanting to leave the house jn the first week. My son was born near the end of October. I tried to persuade DH that we (all 3) should go to bonfire night. He put his foot down at that one😀.
I am afraid the new mum is probably on MN as we speak, saying you will never believe what someone said to me today.

Mogsmaw Mon 10-Jun-24 22:24:28

Biscuitmuncher

I was in a big shop in Birmingham and I saw a mum with a pram. I love babies so I had a peek, baby was tiny. I said how lovely how old? Three days! I said why aren't you home resting! I wish women would look after themselves better

DH and I put DD2 in a huge silver cross pram and went to visit a good friend. He wondered why we had the pram before he twigged. My daughter was 20 odd hours old. I was going stir crazy at home and we came home via the shop as we had run out of cheese.
What would you say to me?
For what it’s worth, when new mums come into my store with newborns I tell them they look fabulous, because they do.

RosiesMaw Mon 10-Jun-24 22:23:06

D2 went up to Birmingham to her sister when her first baby was born. Despite agreeing parental lave etc, GS was late and SIL was due to speak at a conference in Spain when littlest fella was less than a week old.And couldn’t get out of it.
D2 was wheeling him round the supermarket to let her sister have a nap and a woman leaned over the pram, made the usual noises then asked how old he was. D2 was abut 7 1/2 stone at the time, slim as a reed and got a very funny look from the woman when she replied “5 days” !

rafichagran Mon 10-Jun-24 22:22:22

I think your title may be misleading. If you told her off you were wrong. If you just said in a kindly conversational way. Oh I bet you are tired why aren't you resting that's different and she may have seen it as the latter.
I would not have saidcsnything but I must confess I would not be that interested.

Jaxjacky Mon 10-Jun-24 22:17:56

I went out for a meal and took my son with me after a week, straightforward birth. I think you overstepped the mark.

Theexwife Mon 10-Jun-24 22:09:46

I went for a walk 4 days after, just around the neighbourhood and was fine.

Georgesgran Mon 10-Jun-24 22:04:54

I had DD2 over a Bank Holiday, then had to take her with me to drop off DD1 on her first day at school. I had no choice, but I’d had a baby, I wasn’t ill (40 years ago).

TerriBull Mon 10-Jun-24 22:02:37

Err you can't go up to someone you don't know and say that, it isn't any of your business. Some women are fighting fit after giving birth, everyone is different, I imagine she was a bit taken aback.

annodomini Mon 10-Jun-24 21:57:42

I do hope that she told you to mind your own business. She might have had a perfectly valid reason for being out and about so soon after the birth.

GrannyIvy Mon 10-Jun-24 21:56:56

I agree with you three days old baby, I felt pretty dead beat and actually I was in hospital 8 days with first baby and 3 with second but it all different now🤷‍♀️

Biscuitmuncher Mon 10-Jun-24 21:19:15

I was in a big shop in Birmingham and I saw a mum with a pram. I love babies so I had a peek, baby was tiny. I said how lovely how old? Three days! I said why aren't you home resting! I wish women would look after themselves better