Are you too scared to post what you really think?

I promise you, the only thing I'm expert on is ME!
... and my family might even question that!

I’ve been followed and criticised by some very opinionated people using the disguise of changing names. It used to bother me, but it’s their problem not mine.

The thing is,the ones who change their names don’t realise that it is blaringly obvious who they are. They can change their names as much as they like but sooner or later their style gives them away. No matter how hard they try ! Wonderful things( not) VPN s.

I agree that it's often possible to spot the opinionated when they come back under a different guise. Unless someone has lost a password or something, it is usually the more . . . contentious posters who reinvent themselves.

I think that when people disagree about something like political view, the chances are that there will be a few flashpoints, so it can look as though comments might be vexatious when it's really just that world views differ. The same applies to particular communication styles, which probably equate to personality types - some people just don't get on.

I am often surprised when people say 'I know we don't usually agree but thanks for your support. . .' I don't care if I agree with someone about one thing - if I do agree on another, I will say so. There are people whose views seem to be broadly in step with mine, but I don't think there is anyone with whose posts I will always concur either, and I will say so then, too. It's never personal. I hope they won't mind me naming them, but i have very different political views from GSM and Norah, but there are many things on which we agree, and that seems to be a two-way street. We can agree on one thread and disagree on another without it mattering.

I suppose I might read more carefully if someone who is usually 'nice' (ie agrees with me ) posts something that looks at first glance to be unpleasant, and I'm less likely to react in the same way than I would to someone who is often 'horrible'. It's confirmation bias, but also human nature, I think, and probably most people do the same.

I do tend to remember regular posters, and often I remember what they've said before if it's struck me as interesting in some way. There are threads/forums I avoid, eg Estrangement and the RF, as I have no experience of the former and wouldn't want to risk causing hurt by being tactless, and I don't care enough about the latter to argue about it. I usually use Active Topics though, so sometimes I don't realise in which forum a thread was posted, so have commented by mistake then scurried away when I realise what I've done .

As usual, a very balanced post from Doodledog.

i count myself among the opinionated. I have changed my name only once - and that was many years ago when someone I know personally away from GN sussed who I was. I went mute for a month or two and returned with a new name. Most people on GN quickly realised who it was had returned, which was fine and it dealt with the separate problem I had.

I find that thee are some people I seem to constantly disagree with, but even then, when they say something I agree with I will acknowledge it.

Doodledog

I agree that it's often possible to spot the opinionated when they come back under a different guise. Unless someone has lost a password or something, it is usually the more . . . contentious posters who reinvent themselves.

I think that when people disagree about something like political view, the chances are that there will be a few flashpoints, so it can look as though comments might be vexatious when it's really just that world views differ. The same applies to particular communication styles, which probably equate to personality types - some people just don't get on.

I am often surprised when people say 'I know we don't usually agree but thanks for your support. . .' I don't care if I agree with someone about one thing - if I do agree on another, I will say so. There are people whose views seem to be broadly in step with mine, but I don't think there is anyone with whose posts I will always concur either, and I will say so then, too. It's never personal. I hope they won't mind me naming them, but i have very different political views from GSM and Norah, but there are many things on which we agree, and that seems to be a two-way street. We can agree on one thread and disagree on another without it mattering.

I suppose I might read more carefully if someone who is usually 'nice' (ie agrees with me ) posts something that looks at first glance to be unpleasant, and I'm less likely to react in the same way than I would to someone who is often 'horrible'. It's confirmation bias, but also human nature, I think, and probably most people do the same.

I do tend to remember regular posters, and often I remember what they've said before if it's struck me as interesting in some way. There are threads/forums I avoid, eg Estrangement and the RF, as I have no experience of the former and wouldn't want to risk causing hurt by being tactless, and I don't care enough about the latter to argue about it. I usually use Active Topics though, so sometimes I don't realise in which forum a thread was posted, so have commented by mistake then scurried away when I realise what I've done .

Indeed, we have polar opposite political views and, I add, sahp views - however I truly value reading your posts as I usually am forced to think.

Me too! GSM & Sky. It is not necessarily language but being controlled by the thought police. And we are being controlled by them aren't we? That is scary. Orwellian.

Yes, we are.

If you mean what I think you mean, I dont take much or no notice of that, personally.
I am a Christian. I would be doomed anyway.

Interesting.
I think sometimes the real truth is so very hard to find, so unless posters have indepth knowledge on a specific topic, (and many do), we are all just dragging facts from Google or from supposedly reliable sources. And each of us will choose the facts or figures to suit our purpose! That's how it works.

karmalady

no not at all scared but I quickly learnt to keep my mouth zipped, when I realised that there were a few horrible, self-centred and self-important opinionated people on GN with nothing better to do than sit here all day and take people apart

Life is too short for all that. I am a positive person and will keep my thoughts to myself

I agree totally. I once read a post from an op who was trying to advise others of a scam she had been naively caught by and there were a couple of people who slammed into her in such an unkind way, nasty actually. I took note of those names , and have seen their nastiness appear since, so now, if those names appear, I leave the thread immediately. I wonder why they feel the need to be so cruel. And as this is an anonymous site, they have no idea of the mental health of the op. How would they feel if their nasty comment just pushed the op over the edge? Probably wouldn't care. And I'm not even talking about opinion threads but threads which decent people wouldn't even imagine there's anything nasty to be said, just advice or kind words. So yes, I rarely post on here because I'm scared, because we're not all tough and blasé- I feel hurt at unkind words and I can struggle with putting them out of my mind. Does that make me weak? Does it mean others think I should toughen up? Why? We're all different, why can't we accept others for what they are? There's far too much unkindness, criticism and intolerance these days.

That's not right, Cornflower, you shouldn't leave a thread just because you see a certain name on it. That means they've won and you are left feeling deflated. But I do sort of understand.
There's a couple of names who make me roll my eyes, but no one currently makes me scared and upset.

I’d just skip those names, not worth bothering with or getting upset about really. I wish we had an ignore button as they did in a previous forum I was on. Then you don’t have to look at the nasty ones.

M0nica

i count myself among the opinionated. I have changed my name only once - and that was many years ago when someone I know personally away from GN sussed who I was. I went mute for a month or two and returned with a new name. Most people on GN quickly realised who it was had returned, which was fine and it dealt with the separate problem I had.

I find that thee are some people I seem to constantly disagree with, but even then, when they say something I agree with I will acknowledge it.

You had a good reason to name change, nothing wrong in that.
I changed my name on another forum as there was a poster who had a similar name to mine and others kept mixing us up.
In my 2 years on this forum there’s no name anything like Oreo so I should be ok.Unless there’s an Oregano I don’t know about.
Your last paragraph I agree with totally and I do the same.

Joseann

That's not right, Cornflower, you shouldn't leave a thread just because you see a certain name on it. That means they've won and you are left feeling deflated. But I do sort of understand.
There's a couple of names who make me roll my eyes, but no one currently makes me scared and upset.

Oh yeah!😄the eye roll🙄I do that a lot.So far haven’t seen anything scary or upsetting. We’re all different tho and don’t know what’s going on in posters lives.

Joseann

Interesting.
I think sometimes the real truth is so very hard to find, so unless posters have indepth knowledge on a specific topic, (and many do), we are all just dragging facts from Google or from supposedly reliable sources. And each of us will choose the facts or figures to suit our purpose! That's how it works.

Absolutely. As soon as someone starts insisting that they have ‘the facts’ I lose interest.

Yes, sadly I tend to shy away from very contentious threads. I'm not thick-skinned and would take any unkind comments to heart. There are some posters who I definitely wouldn't get involved with, as I find some of their comments are often rude and their arrogance can be breathtaking. Takes all sorts I know, but that kind of thread is not for me.

Curlywhirly

Yes, sadly I tend to shy away from very contentious threads. I'm not thick-skinned and would take any unkind comments to heart. There are some posters who I definitely wouldn't get involved with, as I find some of their comments are often rude and their arrogance can be breathtaking. Takes all sorts I know, but that kind of thread is not for me.

Well said! You put it better than I did! And I agree wholeheartedly! I would shy away from those sort of people in real life too!

Oreo

Joseann

That's not right, Cornflower, you shouldn't leave a thread just because you see a certain name on it. That means they've won and you are left feeling deflated. But I do sort of understand.
There's a couple of names who make me roll my eyes, but no one currently makes me scared and upset.

Oh yeah!😄the eye roll🙄I do that a lot.So far haven’t seen anything scary or upsetting. We’re all different tho and don’t know what’s going on in posters lives.

An eye roll is a good idea.
Actually, a particularly nasty comment recently left me reeling, ordering me off the site 😯. It was from a new (abrasive) poster who seems to have calmed down a bit since then.

Then it thought - "this is her problem, not mine".

Of course, we never know the state of their mind either.

Then I thought

Must proof-read.

Oh- welcome back Callistemon21 you were missed! I agree, someone might be having a really bad day and want to let of steam. You wouldn’t know because you can’t see their facial expressions. The other thing I often wondered, with a particular poster, was if they’d been hitting the boose and were normally a lovely person. Who knows ?

I wouldn’t say I’m scared, but I know that some of the things I might well like to say would be upsetting, so I refrain.

I don’t post on Religion or Politics as I don’t have strong views on either, just my own, of no particular interest to others but I do roll my eyes at the pretentious ones and the whinging ones of which there are a few.
However I would never dream of commenting on them, they know who they are and maybe their sense of self needs that boost which people in RL see through .

Callistemon I noticed your absence and really missed you. So glad you’re back.
How dare anyone order you off the site. They have the problem, not you