Calling women by a Mrs title ... & commenting on what they wear.

I never use my Academic title unless it's necessary. It seems big headed and boastful. (Also, I don't claim to reside in two different cities according to whether or not it suits my 'tale').
I use my forename and surname (which oddly enough is the same as my husband's surname)
I'm quite happy to be referred to as Mrs, but absolutely hate Ms, it means nothing!

'Mrs' and 'Mr' are slightly disrespectful nowadays. For instance 'Mr Hitler ', 'Mr Putin ', 'Mr Netanyahu', ' Miss Minogue'.

It's customary to call a public personage by first and second names unless you want to poke fun at them.

(I liked Mrs Sunak's dress which showed clever symbolism and good taste. I'd have liked it better had she given her money to poor people and worn a charity shop bargain)

Most women don’t use the ap, just the surname, but I’ve heard them use ferch or verch for daughter of. It’s usually an ancestral family name now- we’ve got one, which is used as the second name of all the boys in the family, going back hundreds of years. It’s a really interesting subject I think (but I know I’m a nerd).

Casdon

In Wales, children often have their father or ancestral name as their second name, it’s a patronymic system.
Hence, Rhun ap Iorwedd the Plaid leader is Rhun, son of Iorwedd.

There were quite a few men where I worked who were ap .....I thought it sounded strange for their wives.

empty???
my!

Thanks autocorrect.

Crossstitchfan

Wyllow3

Callistemon213

Our family surnames were presumably our father's surnames.

Unless we had very progressive, forward-thinking mothers.

My DS has my surname, and his Dad's surname as middle name. We always told him he could change it if he wanted.

Willow3
I love that idea! How clever. Also, it will presumably sound double-barrelled, so rather upmarket too!

I couldn't have called my son by empty maiden name, he would have got horribly teased 😃

My father had an unusual middle name, he never commented on it. My mother just said "Your Dad's middle name is a funny one". I found out years later, researching family history, that it was his grandmother's maiden name and a Huguenot surname.
I wish I'd known.

How small-minded that sounds! A married woman should be addressed as 'Mrs Whatever', unless she prefers to be known by her maiden name.

Up in the Highlands where the ex lived, boys had their father's name.
I'm not sure about girls.

In Wales, children often have their father or ancestral name as their second name, it’s a patronymic system.
Hence, Rhun ap Iorwedd the Plaid leader is Rhun, son of Iorwedd.

I've always thought what a pain it would be to ensure officialdom get the gist of something like that.

My friend’s son and his wife blended their last names to create a new shared identity. Their oldest child starts high school in September - they’re a happy couple with three lovely children taking the new name forward. I wonder what they’ll do with their name if they marry or hand fast
Friends of mine chose a new shared last name when they married in their fifties. They divorced within a few years and she kept the name

For a while, it was a thing that a couple would take part of each surname a.nd blend them.

Me and my bloke would have been Mr and Mrs Bland.

Our children had both our names without a hyphen

Wyllow3

Callistemon213

Our family surnames were presumably our father's surnames.

Unless we had very progressive, forward-thinking mothers.

My DS has my surname, and his Dad's surname as middle name. We always told him he could change it if he wanted.

Willow3
I love that idea! How clever. Also, it will presumably sound double-barrelled, so rather upmarket too!

BigMamma

I always was and always will be proud of being called Mrs.

I so agree, old fashioned or not. I was so proud to be Mrs R, but then, I had the best husband in the world (in my opinion, of course!)
Now that he has died, being called Mrs is even more precious to me, and I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s stupid, demeaning etc. it’s right for me!

Tuaim

When my mother was alive and had to go into hospital, the staff addressed her by her Christian name. She insisted on being called Mrs instead.

When I worked in a hospice one of my colleagues always used a patient’s first name, insisting it was friendlier. I would always ask how a person wanted to be addressed, but she thought she knew better.
My son took his wife’s name when they married, because he thought married people should have the same name, and she wanted to keep her name, which, incidentally, is much more exotic than ours!
Also, it seems ‘Mx’ is now an option in some instances, for the non-binary/ gender fluid people.

I’ve been a Ms since 1978 when I left an unhappy marriage, ditched his last name and resumed the name I’d had for most of my life till then. Yes, my father’s last name. I seriously thought about using mum’s family name, which I like a lot but decided I’d rather just be ‘me’
Very happy 2nd marriage in 1983, my husband assumed I’d keep my name, as had most of our friends.
Very happy 40 years together, not least because he absolutely got issues around equality . 💙

I think Ms is particularly useful if when writing to a woman and you don't know whether she is a Mrs or Miss.

It's entirely up to the individual as to how they wished to be addressed, I do put Mrs if asked, but completely respect others desire to put Ms.

As far as taking husband's surname, you're only replacing a patriarchal name with another, it might be my husband's name who I adore, but it was his father's name who I didn't particularly like. Also if you're intrigued in genealogy our maiden names carry our own unique history. I'm not particularly interested in my husband's family roots, mine are far more interesting and emanate from different parts of the world. His of course are interesting to our children but not to me, I associate those too much with his father who was an utter xenophobe.

It is all quite ludicrous imo, -this used to irritate the hell out of me though - eg Jane Smith (Mrs) …..why?
Why was it important for others to know, In say, an office memo about who should wash the coffee cups or tidy up the kitchen this week or indeed any subject you care to mention.

Ok, it was a from a time when historically, marriage conferred “higher” status on the women.
It is a relic.

Why should a woman declare her martial status to the world, it's no one else's business.

Oh, I don't know, it could come in useful sometimes, Scribbles, especially when someone annoys you
🥋

When I divorced I reverted to my maiden name and Ms. No-one has queried it as different from my childrens names and my children couldn't care less. My pupils at school were ok about the change and only one or two asked why.
Commenting on clothing in a negative way is just rude.

Scribbles I feel exactly he same .

Why should a woman declare her martial status to the world, it's no one else's business. Men don't do that. I increasingly use Ms. or first name and surname. My first name is unisex and my correspondence often comes through my letter box addressed to Mr! What really grates on me is a close family member always send me a birthday card addressed to Mrs G ......... My DHs name begins with G! now that annoys me. It's one thing taking his first name I don't want to adopt his first name too !!!!

Do they still actually use ‘ ms’ ? I just never hear or see it these days. It sounds funny, anyway, doesn’t roll off the tongue easily.

I`ve been a widow for nearly 8 years now, but I still like to be called Mrs Whatever, would hate to be a Ms!