Calling women by a Mrs title ... & commenting on what they wear.

“Mrs.” is a title that just doesn’t get all that much respect anymore. It defines a woman as a wife first and foremost, in relation to someone else entirely. A Mrs. seems to be no longer her own person.

Thats why I use my academic title of Dr. Dr can be either male or female and doesn't define me in relation to anyone else. Im not one half of a pair but my own person.

I simply referred to the female partner of Rishi as Mrs Sunak because I don't know her name. She was playing the part of Mrs Sunak that day.
However, I agree with you as a general point and I personally hate being called Mrs Husband's Surname, I usually use my first name followed by my father's surname. You can tie yourself in knots trying to rid everyday language of sexist connotations.

Mrs Angela Raynor and Mrs Victoria Starmer are not the way I'd normally expect to see them written to be honest. Angela Raynor and Victoria Starmer would certainty be more usual in my opinion.

Interesting, biglouis. But then Dr. equally defines you by your academic achievements, which might sound like a bit boastful. I don't call myself Joseann BA (Hons), TEFL, ISTD 4, cookery class certificate, cycling proficiency etc.
Just first name and surname is best for me.

👍 crossed post NotSpaghetti.

I just use the handle Mrs as a friendly title when referring to my chums but it's hardly used these days?
My DiL is American she is still known by her "maiden" name, only the school refers to her as Mrs it's easier.

I in fact do have a historical title but I don't use it.

I have several names and titles. I used them as appropriate to the situation.
I know it's frivolous but I liked Mrs Starmer's and Mrs Sunak's dresses. I don't know their other names or titles but admire their choice of outfit.

Akshata Murty is not by her choice referred to as Mrs Sunak at all as far as I’m aware, she uses her maiden name. Victoria Starmer is Lady Starmer officially, but I highly doubt she would use either that or Mrs Starmer in work, it’s much more likely to be Victoria Starmer. I think using Mrs is shorthand if you don’t know or can’t spell somebody’s Christian name, but it’s not in common use in everyday working life these days.

I always was and always will be proud of being called Mrs.

Also, if you have a Christian name that is difficult to pronounce or looks nothing like the spelling then it's probably best to use it when introducing yourself. Otherwise people might end up struggling, or worse still make a faux pas.

Yes, you don’t see their ‘titles’ as a rule, it’s just ‘Angela Rayner’ or whoever.

I only thought that about Rachel Reeves moving into number 11, and wondered if she is married and has a family, or if it was just her?

Will have to look it up.

Joseann

Interesting, biglouis. But then Dr. equally defines you by your academic achievements, which might sound like a bit boastful. I don't call myself Joseann BA (Hons), TEFL, ISTD 4, cookery class certificate, cycling proficiency etc.
Just first name and surname is best for me.

🤣🤣🤣

I passed my cycling proficiency test when I was 11 but fell off a bike when I was 50! (It was a dodgy old bike borrowed from a friend.)

I was quite relieved to get rid of my maiden surname but quite like it again now having researched family history.

I've not noticed much emphasis upon the Mrs on here.
Can't stand Ms. It's something and nothing.
First name and surname is fine.

Calendargirl

Yes, you don’t see their ‘titles’ as a rule, it’s just ‘Angela Rayner’ or whoever.

I only thought that about Rachel Reeves moving into number 11, and wondered if she is married and has a family, or if it was just her?

Will have to look it up.

Rachel Reeves is married, doesn't use her husband's surname. They have two young children.

Her sister is an MP too, I think.

I use 'Mrs' though I am divorced. I do this because of similarity with other languages.
In France, Mlle is for a young unmarried woman. Over a certain age she would be Mme whatever her married status.
Germany is the same, Fraulein or Frau.
Spain uses Senorita or Senora , Itally similar.
In all cases it is status or age that determines the honorific, not marital status. There is no need for 'Ms'
This distinction also applies to men, a young one is Master, a grown one Mr.

Good idea, yggdrasil

If a Miss becomes a Mrs upon marriage and the wife of someone who receives a knighthood becomes a Lady, why does the husband of a Dame not have a title?

I am another proud Mrs.
I had a very unusual Irish maiden name that was hard for people to spell or pronounce.
I also had awful parents, I have a wonderful husband and am so proud to have his name and of course that of our children.

Thanks Callistemon, saved me looking it up!

anonymose

I've just skimmed through another post on here about AR and her trouser suit & was quite amazed that the outgoing PM Rishi Sunaks wife was referred to as Mrs Sunak, also Mrs Angela Raynor & Mrs Victoria Starmer. Others sorry I've missed their names (not familiar with many UK politicians) but is this a thing in 2024.
I've understood from my reading these are all intelligent, employed women & not waiting at home for husbands like a 1950s housewife might have done so why not just call them by their names - AR, VS, AS etc - or is this the mindset of Gransnet?
I accept I haven't used the forum for a long time but discussions about clothing choices & Mrs et als really should have been left generations before us.

Discussions about clothing choices should have been left generations ago? Really?😄
So women aren’t interested in fashion and looking stylish anymore?
As to titles, it’s up to individual posters if they want to say Mrs Sunak or AR or Victoria Starmer or whatever.

Back in 1968 I did everything I could to keep my maiden name after marriage. DH was quite happy about that but the banks and other institutions raised so many legal obstacles, which later turned out to be make-believe, that I gave up.

Now I try to use no nominator at all, but so many of those drop down boxes in online forms give you no choice as they have the little red asterisk of 'compulsory' and te form won't work if they are left blank.

For some reason, I am not sure what, I really dislike 'Ms'. It sounds so contrived.

I have no problem being called Mrs.
Also, I have never used my academic achievements in my title, (and there are a few), other than in a job application. I find it unnecessary and slightly boastful. I blame that on my background.

I enjoy looking at what other woman are wearing. However, criticising how another woman dresses, does not sit well with me. Each to their own.

As for discussion about clothes. Whether a person makes the right choices of clothing - and I am talking about appropriate as well as style, and men and women, is often a guide to who that person is and the quality of their judgement.

About 40 years ago I went to a meeting with my employer's advertising agency. All the men there, bar one, were in suits, I and my female colleague were also smartly dressed. The exception was the Art Director who was wearing crumpled ripped jeans (not todays fashionablely ripped jeans, just ripped jeans) and a well worn unironed T shirt.

It was so contrived and meant a statemen,t it almost hurt, in fact what his choice of clothes said to us, was not . 'Oh what an achingly cool art Director this company has, he must be good' but 'What on earth possessed this man to think that he is dressed appropriately for this meeting, even if he is the art director, I bet his ideas will be as disastrous.

They were. They ignored all the information he had been given about the purpose of the campaign and who the target audience was, the successful campaign we ran bore no relationship to the art work the agency initially prepared.

Clothes say something about a person, whether they like it or not, whether it is high design, or pick something off the floor and put it on. We cannot get away from that and because women have a far greater choice of styles, unfortunately there is more scope for comment.

If Keir Starmer had turned up at Downing St yesterday in open-toed sandals, with or without socks, gardening trousers, a sctuffy T shirt and a tweed jacket with leather patches on the elbows, all the papers and social media, would have forgotten about politics and be talking only about what he was wearing, its inappropriatenes, where the garments were bought originally, how much they cost, and how long he had had them.

I like the handle 'Mrs' to my name. If a couple are married then they share the same name, it means 'you are one' I don't consider it old fashioned at all, it is respectful.

That first paragraph could be describing Boris Johnson.

Suddenly politics is all about sartorial elegance?

I get annoyed with online forms which require you to give a title but then only give you the choice of Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms. I was happy to be Mrs for many years but now, due to hard work, it's Dr. The same title now applies to DH, but he doesn't get a choice either. There must be plenty of people whose titles aren't among the basic 4.

I'm quite happy to be addressed by Christian name and surname with no title. But now if cold callers address me as Mrs Septimia I can say "There's no Mrs S here."