Chatty Cafes

I’ve seen tables marked out for this, but haven’t actually been part of one. It sounds a good idea, though.

What a lovely idea. I sometimes strike up a conversation if I see a very elderly person on their own and often they live on their own and are very lonely and glad to chat to someone. I overheard a conversation where 3 ladies were in conversation one said "but you have already told me that". The other one said "oh dear I haven't spoken to anyone for over a week"

Thank you for posting this. I’ve never heard of them but it looks like they have some in my area. What a great idea.

In a park near me there are buddy benches, odd name, but they are for people to sit on that are willing or wanting to have a chat, they are always occupied.

I remember meeting up with a former colleague who lives alone after Covid and she said she hadn't spoken to anyone for 3 weeks...this is desperately sad...sometimes we don't realise how lonely some people feel if they don't have human contact...I've since tried to engage with her to meet for a coffee but she is a very private person. know she can be social at times - maybe she wants time alone as we all do ..people understand the difference to wanting to be alone at certain times but loneliness is increasing IMO..will check out a local cafe and maybe ask her to join...

One of my sons recently spent some time in hospital. on his ward was a fairly elderly man, a widower, who said to my son when he was ready for discharge "I would rather stay here at least I get to talk to people", how sad is that.

[nanaK54] that is very sad..hope his discharge includes social service support/care for him as he sounds very low...

I have just seen an advertisement for a chatty cafe near me. I hadn't heard of this until I read this thread but I think it is a great idea.

I’ve seen something in the Waitrose cafe about this . You put a little sign on the table I think 🤔 indicating that you are happy to chat.

My DD has a chatty cafe in the church opposite her house. If I'm there on a Wednesday at 2pm I can see older people going in. I think it's a very good idea as loneliness is bad for health.

Now, News at 6pm are doing a feature on The Chatty Bench… have not seen them near me ..

The scheme has been running for quite a long time (18 months, or so?)

I'm surprised it wasn't promoted very well, because it's an excellent idea.

Yes there is one inappropriate cafe quite near me they run it once a week. I think it is a .lovely idea as I am sure many enduring friendships are made there. It is also a good cafe. They also have a friendship group one tea time at our local pub.x

Redrobin51 sorry but I can’t resist asking; what is an inappropriate cafe?
Do the customers come dressed in pyjamas and slippers with curlers in and perhaps seat their dogs at the table and feed them soup 🤔

Yes I heard about the benches just recently on the radio. Good idea. Sadly the situation with covid has of course stopped lots of people mixing for a long time, but also I think it has been very sad in particular for older men. When my son was little you often got elderly men and women who would be sat in the park near the childrens playground. They would speak to the children and as my sons grandparents lived a long way away, I was very happy for him to have this contact. It worked both ways and we made many pleasant contacts and learned much of interest. Sadly, due to the situation with child abuse , - which of course is of major importance - many men then felt they dare not even say hello to a child now. I was once in a park with my son, where the only other adult was a young man with his daughter. Another child entered the park and was playing and then fell from the slide quite badly. I went over and checked that he was ok and asked where he lived, just across the park, and watched him going home. If he had been worse I would have taken him or rung for an ambulance. After the child had left the young man said how glad he was that I had been there, as these days he was not sure whether he should do as his instinct as a parent, and talk to the child and see if he was ok or stay away in case it was thought inappropriate that he talked to the child. This is understandable but very sad I think. My personal view is that I feel that all adults should be looking out for all children. Of course if the parents are there you do not need to be involved, but I would hope that an adult would have asked my son if he was alright in that circumstance. So I think that the bench idea is very good and is a way we can speak to each other without being seen as a danger to a child etc. I have always been happy to speak to others, and have always felt that I could gauge whether they would like to continue to talk or just pass the time of day and be left alone. You do notice that people with dogs have an instant opportunity for conversation, which I noticed when I had been taking a friends dog for a walk when she was not well. Many more people seemed to be able to start a conversation involving the dog, but thats the british for you!!

I am involved with a local Charity which runs a Community Cafe, we always welcome people who are on their own with a smile and willingness to chat if that is what they seem to want. The Charity also has various befriending schemes and invites those who live alone to attend out own version of the Chatty Cafe twice a month - these have been very successful events with a lot of chat and plenty of cake and coffee consumed! I am sure it is a lifeline for some of the regulars and maybe their only chance to socialise. Interestingly some of the men who attend have asked if they can have their own morning just for men!

There are chatty train trips from Coleraine - Londonderry to help lonely people find friends.

They've just started a community café morning once a month in our Waitrose. My friend went to the last one and said about 8 people turned up. It's just one large table designated to anyone from 9.30 onwards for that morning.

There's lots of churches do food and chat regular slots. In Exeter alone I know of 4. You don't have to go to church, just turn up for whatever they are offering, either low priced or free food. Make a donation if you don't need free, and go prepared to talk to someone lonely if you don't want to be the lonely one.

What a great idea, chatty cafes and buddy benches, never heard of either of them. Am going to see if there are any local cafes and maybe give them a go. I often go for days without speaking to anybody, it would be good to have see new faces and have a chat.

Interestingly some of the men who attend have asked if they can have their own morning just for men!

Are you going to try this, seeing as they've asked? It might encourage more to come.

My uncle was involved in his local Men's Shed group 🙂

Chatty busses, chatty rains and other chatty get together are part of the Connecting you project. Our Carers group participated in the trial group last year. They are now doing free travel training as a result of the initial project which covers 3/4 days, one in the classroom, a couple of journeys and a final couple of hours in the classroom to re-cap on what has been learnt. Benefits a huge variety of people who would otherwise not get out and about.

There was a surgery somewhere that held coffee mornings for people. They found that the number of people wanting doctors appointments reduced quite considerably. I’m not implying that prior to that people had been time wasters but that loneliness has a huge impact on peoples general health and well-being.

All these suggestions are wonderful ideas especially chatty cafes and how I wish I could be part of them but as I am disabled following a bad fall a year ago and need a wheelchair if I go out I can’t go to any of them. I have not been out of the house since my husbands funeral in January I can’t even get into my garden as there is a step and oh I do so miss company as I don’t have many visitors but am glad I have my iPad and phone. At least I’m alive so I’m not grumbling 😊