Dreading the school holidays with neighbours screaming children

We had this at our last house, more teenage parties going on half the night. Eventually we moved to a much quieter place. It is really awful that you have to put up with crap like that, the parents are probably loud sort of people I’m guessing. Any chance of getting sound proof windows ?

Its been horrendous here since the arrival of two beautiful children in the block.

They just don't seem to be told to be quiet and leave things (and miserable old bags!) alone.

Guilty. I also have anxiety and depression and there are times when the neverending 24/7 of the summer holidays rips my knitting enough that I tell them to go out into the garden for a bit so I can have some peace.
To be fair the overwhelming majority of houses in our area have resident small(ish) kids so most folk are doing the same.
Before we had kids, we lived next to a school so we are used to the noise though. So are the dogs but they are taking objection to the never ending roadworks at our back gate. They understandably object to unknown males shouting outside our back gate.

Bose are probably the best but they are very expensive. You can get ear buds or headphones.
Argos sell a selection of noise cancelling headphones and buds and Amazon also sell them.

Please could you tell me about noise cancelling ear phones or buds . I just want silence or something to tone down the road noise and barking dogs .

Are they light weight ?
Where could I buy some

Thankyou

we are lucky where we live a small estate all the kids are late teens the only one used to be a grandson after school and holidays but he was quite good grandad made sure of that! now if you were talking about barking dogs and certain neighbours that think they own the place and let their dogs run free poohing all over the place I could easily fill a page with that! going back to your problem if you get desperate please phone the Samaritans see your GP and I just thought can you stop with your mother a few days to give yourself a break from it all?

My lovely neighbour has Karaoke parties, well the wife does.. (the husband goes out or hides!).

She is so kind and helpful and friendly but my goodness 😳 the shrieking is something else!

We try to acknowledge their joy and now just laugh about it (and turn up the TV!!) as "happy noises" are easier to tolerate than unpleasant ones.

Are you able to find any joy in their (annoying) fun I wonder?

A very good point BlueBelle
I am not irritated by my neighbours boys on their trampoline or kicking a ball around because the parents are good friends so my hackles are not raised.
But when our former home, an old farmhouse overlooked the village green I can remember the thwack of footballs against the big plane tree in the middle. Once it got under my skin I could not ignore it.
I wish noise cancelling headphones had existed in my day and hope you can find some respite.
If all else fails- pray for rain.
I do sympathise also remembering from our time in London the “boom boom” of Saturday night parties up or down our street of terraced houses. I came to dread those. But once, our neighbours invited us so we popped in for a drink, leaving early and although the party went on into the wee small hours, I found it bearable, just that once.

Kiri, I really feel for you , this is intolerable. Fortunately I don't suffer with depression but this situation would cause me massive anger, resentment and anxiety. I fully agree that it is good to see children children playing out - away from screens. However this is not playing out as we know it , fighting,screaming and shouting is not playing out, it is being allowed to run wild and parents not caring !!! Please do not allow this to increase your depression ( easier said than done I recognize that) Having tried all the solutions it might be in your best interest move , is that possible? Headphones , taking yourself out for respite breaks to a quiet place is all well and good , but you shouldn't have to do that ! For goodness sake please take care of yourself . Think about moving, although of course you need to be close to your Mother. School holidays come round quickly and often and I feel sorry you are having to cope with this. 💐💐

I have several sets of ear buds/headphones but the noise cancelling headphones are amazing.

I use those for listening to audio books whilst vacuuming or if garden machinery is going.

It’s miserable to have horrible neighbours but if you can take a little control to shut them out it will make you feel a bit better.

Play Barry Manilow
😱
Isn't that worse?

Play Barry Manilow on speakers outside your home. It will repel the screamers.

This tactic was used successfully to discourage teens from congregating on the beach at night in Sydney.

Or you could pay the kids to stand outside your house and scream for 8 hours per day. They’ll soon not show up for work.

Kiri

I feel so sorry for you. I have had similar in the past but it was mostly a football being kicked in the street, hitting my windows, car etc with the accompanying shouts and screams. I used to pray for rain and dread the light nights as it would continue until 10pm and beyond.

I remember my Dad opening the window and ordering me to stop squealing and shouting when I was playing with a friend in the garden. We were rolling down the front garden path on some contraption made with a roller skate. I can remember him saying “it’s Sunday afternoon, people are trying to relax”.

I’ll be honest, I have always been conscious of my children making too much noise when young. However, for most people these days consideration for others isn’t high on their list of priorities.

As advised upthread, some noise cancelling headphones are a good idea, enabling you to read a book or magazine and sit in your garden.

I wish you all the best as I know how such noise can have a debilitating effect on one’s health.

When I first moved to Manchester to go to uni I lived on one of the toughest estates in the city (now demolished). The problem was not children but people putting speakers out on the decks and broadcasting their so-called "music" to the world in general. Every weekend there would be shabeens (pay to enter parties) which sometimes went on for 24 hours.

So how did I manage to study?

I used wax ear plugs and music of my own that was loud enough to drown out what was happening outside. Once the racket outside was covered I could easily disattend my own music/noise because it was under my direct control.

When I work on the computer now I often stream music through headphones so that I remain entirely unaware of what may be happening outside. Such as my neighbours grandkids playing football in the garden. I often use Indian or mid eastern music because I dont have a clue what they are singing about. Its just noise.

So make some noise of your own to drown out the rest of the world. You will be surprised how quickly you get used to it.

Kiri

There are 3 separate families in my neighbourhood and my neighbourhood is classed as a quiet road, but unfortunately there are 3 houses which have 3 to 4 children each and the parents do not care how they are raised. The parents obviously get bored of them or can't be bothered to look after them and they send them out in the road and it would be ok if they played nicely, but they do not and they scream and fight all day and I am not exaggerating. It will be from 8am to 9pm, the ages range from 5 to 13 with no supervision for the young ones. We live near many parks as this is a small suburban town in Hertfordshire and the parents cannot be bothered to take them to any of these places, even though they are free, so that they can play and have fun. They are also not the type of people you can speak to in a diplomatic way, you will just get sworn at or abused. What is also bad is that they do not play outside their own homes but outside our homes. I suffer from anxiety and depression and I dread next week. I could easily just end it as I cannot cope, even though I am taking medication. I know to some people who do not suffer from depression and anxiety would probably think just get on with it, but it is easily said than done.

We have many children in our street, pre-school and school age going from 5 to 14 years of age and even in the holidays, we never see them or hear them, sad really.

We used to love to hear the children playing, laughing and having fun (no football was allowed on the street though) when we were young parents in the 70's.

So true BlueBelle
Your brain is "seeking out" problems.

I feel for you .

What a nightmare
Thankfully most of the time the children near us are fairly well behaved and go indoors at a reasonable time.
As for our immediate neighbours (like us in their 60s), now that's quite unbelievable at times. Like last weekend, playing loud music in the garden till early hours, he was so drunk he was falling off garden chair and literally couldn't get up.
I just don't understand other people's total lack of consideration for their neighbours, you have my sympathy.
Maybe looking into retirement complex would be an idea
Thinking of you xx

I think if you try you can block the noise out, BUT the problem is because you are so affected by it you are unknowingly concentrating on it and this is the whole essence of anxiety
What we are anxious about, we hone in on and it becomes all consuming, the more you dread it or are afraid of it, the worse it becomes. This happens with all anxieties think about a fear of spiders, you rev yourself up, then see a spider, then your panic increases, so the next time you see one your anxiety is already doubled then you start looking everywhere for them until even pictures of one, can affect you You are constantly, daily in your case reinforcing the fear until it becomes all consuming
But
You can work on this yourself or you can get outside help counselling or hypnotism but at the moment you are in your own ‘home made panic zone’ and it will only get worse if you don’t take some actions

You can’t stop all these children playing out You can move but you could move to another problem or you could stop, take a breathe, and get help or learn ways to help yourself.
Good luck panic is not easy to be rid of

Also, I'd contact the local PCSO for "advice" and ask them what you/they can do to help.
They may have no ideas - but years ago, in my area an anti-social problem was alleviated by the PCSO who spent time on an issue and was surprisingly successful.
🤞

I'm another who would look for a retirement community of some sort.
Thinking of you.

I remember when my children were babies and some older children were constantly screaming their heads off. I wanted to explain to them that if they were ever really in trouble and screamed, no-one would come to help because they would assume they were just “having fun”. I would never intervene now, as shrieking and screaming is just so normal. Of course we screamed as children, but in appropriate settings eg rollercoasters and horror films!!

But if you move, who knows what other horrors might materialise?

What an horrendous situation.
I know you said you need to stay in the area for various reasons, but there must be neighbourhoods not far away which aren’t blighted with awful feral children, which is what those most certainly are.

You sound desperate. I do hope you manage to get away from these awful families.

Kiri, I don't see how anywhere can actually be "classed" as a quiet area. Not unless you've perhaps bought a retirement home in an age restricted community. Maybe you might consider that if at all practical?