Stingy People

I don’t think it’s stingy at all to not want to split the bill equally if you have had considerably less or a much cheaper meal than someone else, because, otherwise you are, in effect, subsidising their meal. It’s altogether different if there’s not a lot between the cost of each meal, then it makes sense to split it equally.

The solution is to say at the outset what you intend to do, so that everyone is clear, or, at the time of ordering, request separate bills for everyone.

Took a friend to a flower show. At the booth, I bought the tickets, not cheap. No offer to pay. In defence, the love of her life had just left her and she was upset.
I wasn’t allowed to look at any flower displays as I had to listen to her tale of woe (and it rained heavily…)

I once went out with a friend for lunch. I offered to pay. She said she'd take the cash up to the cashier. She did that AND kept my change!

Daughter and kids went round to her best friends last week as the son was having a birthday.Daughter made a lovely dish and also bought M andS burgers and things for the BBQ. She spent quite a lot.
Going into the kitchen to help she caught her friend setting out packets of Lidl burgers which were on their date.
When she asked what these were for her friend was shameless and said they would do the kids and she was going to keep the M and S ones for the next day!

I've always been happy to pay my share as long as it's my share, not everyone else's extras.
Over 35 years ago, when pregnant with my daughter, I accepted an evening meal date with a friend plus some of her friends who I didn't know that well.
I'd said before I wouldn't be drinking and could I just pay for what I'd had and my friend said, 'yes, she's spoken with the others and that was alright as I wasn't drinking alcohol'.
Different story when I arrived. There were about 20 of us and everyone else drank. They were astounded that I wasn't prepared to split the bill with them all. I suspect my friend hadn't even told them.
I wasn't asked again.

I loved reading all your comments. The amount of stingyness made me chuckle.
Hugs to you Whiff. It's nice when a comment brings back a good memory. xx
I have a neighbour in the flat below me she's on her own and seems to have chosen me as her go to for help. Although not very often I'm glad to say. A couple of years ago she asked me if she could get a landline and wanted an old fashioned phone with a dial. I told her they don't really make them anymore but she insisted. Anyway I had to phone BT and ask them but they needed to speak to her so she came up to our flat and spoke to the woman on the other end. What a performance because my neighbour insisted she didn't want broadband. Anyway I ended up getting her a very simple cordless phone from Amazon. I set it up for her and it was arranged for the engineer to come out and connect her. The next day she came to my door with the phone back in its box and said she didn't want it. She was worried about the amount of electricity it might use. I sent it back and she never asked me again.

I have a rather stingy friend who conveniently forgets to pay for stuff. When we worked together I often went on a fish and chip run for lunch buying for those who wanted it on my card then they would pay me back in cash. Except this friend never had the right cash and so mumbled she would pay me back later, tho she never did. Now we are all retired a small group of us meet up every so often for coffee and cake on the understanding that we take it in turns paying for the whole group, works like a charm except for this friend who often texts when it is her turn with a migraine etc., but we are wise to it now so reassure her that it isn’t a problem she can do coffee and cake on her next time. Glad to say she has finally relented.

An older friend was getting married and I organised a hen party in a restaurant. In these circumstances it's normal (I think) for the rest of the group to share the cost of the "bride's" meal. Near the end of the evening, I went up to the counter to get the bill, to be told that one member of the group had already paid for her own meal- thus avoiding having to pay anything extra for "bride".

I think it’s unfair to lump everyone in together some of us are on lower wages or lower savings than others so I always pay my share but I can’t afford to subsidise
People having opinions like yours Ziggy don’t seem to realise that not everyone is at the same financial level as them

It’s always the people who eat and drink the most who want the bill spilt equally I am happy and able to pay for what I have had, not for what they ve had, and if we were at an expensive restaurant I d purposely pick something at the lower end of the menu so then don’t want their cavier added to my bill…. ta
Unless it s my family then I ll happily treat them if I can
BUT I m far from stingy

Dh’s old aunt used to get her long-suffering cleaning lady to do her shopping (no extra pay) and then berate her for not having got the butter at a different shop where it was 1p cheaper.

She had plenty of money! I used to call her Queen Midas.
We were once with her in a small local wool shop (she did loads of knitting) where she tried to get the assistant to knock 12.5 p off the total for a substantial amount of expensive Jaeger mohair.
The woman protested that she couldn’t, it wasn’t her shop, but Queen Midas persisted. It was very embarrassing.

She was so renowned for her screech of *’HOW MUCH?!!’ that at her funeral dh (who spoke) said there would have been the same screech if she’d known how much her funeral was costing. And everybody burst out laughing.
What a way to be remembered!

I'm amazed at the price of some drinks these days, especially cocktails. I must admit I do resent having to pay halves when people drink these and I just stick to my normal tonic water.

Years ago on work meals the bill was split equally and we all paid for whoever the designated drivers were too.
Now, we only go out with friends we know well, the bill is split equally, or family, where again it’s split equally, unless we’re paying as a treat.

I hate the “split the bill” except with family.

In large staff outings, we look at the menu on line or in the staff room and sign up on a list which the organiser, takes with them as a reminder. The order is put in to the restaurant in advance. Then we pay the cost of our meal to the organiser.
Drinks are always bought on the night-you pay for what you order or some of us share the cost of a bottle.

Years ago I went round to a boyfriend's and we cooked a meal together. He told me off for throwing a match away when I'd used it once and said it could be lit again a few times in the gas flame to light another ring. 🤔
He proved to be parsimonious on subsequent dates so I decided he wasn't a keeper.

It depends who we are out with and what everyone has had. We always have a bottle of wine and if others have had no alcohol or less expensive drinks, we always pay a bit more.

Took me some time to realise that those who clamoured loudest to share the bill equally were always those who had the most courses costing the most money and the most to drink. As the the cost of these shared meals rose I started checking all the prices which revealed that the more prudent (or hard up) were regularly subsidising those with expensive tastes and so suggested we paid our own bills, met with (almost) universal relief.
Equally, a friend and I used to organise, cook and serve a Christmas meal (turkey, puddings, mince pies) for a large group at work at £4 a head, and we were taken to task by one recipient who said we could have done it far more cheaply if we had shopped around, going to markets and farm shops etc . We actually had £14 37 surplus which we donated to The Salvation Army Christmas Appeal, and I was taken to task about that as well; I should have refunded 40p per person.

A while ago we went out for lunch with another couple. At the end my husband paid for it by card and the other couple started to count out their cash.

It did not end there because they both counted out their quarter of the bill.

It was so embarrassing.

I always split the bill. Can't be doing with people who offer exactly the amount of money to cover what they have had to eat/drink.

I have a friend who really is stingy.
She loves it when people take her out for a meal which happens a lot as to be fair she doesn’t have the same income as some of us and she tells us this fact a lot.
I took her out for a meal a few weeks ago and my GD took us and picked us up so no taxi bills.
She actually offered to pay for a bottle of wine which is unusual, when the bill came , she asked how much the wine was, we were at a local pub so it wasn’t a premium bottle, I think it was £19, she complained bitterly how she could have bought the same bottle in the supermarket for £7.
I thought it was so wrong and petty, a 2 course meal, sirloin steak for her, G&T to start and transport provided but of course she didn’t have any money on her as usual but she did bring it to my house the following week.
It makes it difficult to want to do it again.

The one thing that I really dislike about a close friend -is her appalling tightness .
Her other friends have made comments about it .
If we go out and I treat her she whips out her loyalty card to get the points .
Once in M and S she got her card out to benefit from my clothes purchase .
The sales assistant made a comment .

But what makes me sad is her habit of double billing me .
I keep records so I'll tell her that I've already paid .
She works full time and has another job which pays her a fabulous amount untaxed so she's certainly very comfortably off .
As she gets older and sadly grumpier she's becoming meaner and meaner with money .
It's like a disease .
I personally hate going out and find it embarrassing when the bill comes and the organiser gets out the calculator .
It's better to discuss it in advance .

I think the title of this thread is misleading it’s nothing to do with being stingy but all to do with fairness and circumstances

@Marydoll
For a few years I was in charge of the kitty as well as organising the Xmas meal for a group of roughly thirty employees. Was an absolute nightmare. Firstly was chasing up people to pay the deposit, then someone didn’t pay for the meal on the night so everyone else had to fork out enough to cover it, was so stressful I never really enjoyed the occasion. I gave notice that I would no longer be doing to long faces and cries of ‘but you were so good at it’, unsurprisingly there was not a queue of volunteers to take over the task.

Years ago, we had a night out for the mum's in our Toddlers' group. It was a set menu and we had agreed to split the bill.
I was always in charge of the kitty, but when it was time to pay, I realised that someone one hadn't paid. I had a fair idea, who it was, but couldn't prove it.
We were all on a tight budget, but had to fork out the extra.

On another occasion I was in charge of the kitty for a staff night out. Everyone was being sensible, apart from a few who were drinking heavily. At the end of the night, they scarpered before the bill came.
It was £40 short, a lot of money in those days. Luckily, I had cash on me, which I had been given that night to add to the member of staff's leaving gift.
On the Monday morning, I marched into the staffroom and called out the culprits in front of everyone. Shamefacedly, they paid up!

I agree that splitting the bill equally is fine if everyone has roughly the same but if some guests order lobster or steak etc., and knock back glasses of wine, whilst others have salads and drink water for the table, there is bound to be a large discrepancy in what is owed at the end of the meal.
To avoid embarrassment it should be made clear from the outset what arrangement will be in place on the night. At my age I don’t pussy foot around this and will ask beforehand, and if is splitting at the end of the meal and I know there are at least a couple of culprits who will eat and drink the place dry, I say I can’t make it.
Am not stingy I just don’t have the money to pay extra for somebody else. Thankfully this rarely happens, have a few good friends and when we eat out we know the drill, we order roughly in the same price range and split at the end.

Problems arise when how the bill is paid is not agreed in advance! I have been in the position of not being able to afford to split AND of easily being able to afford to split. I have always asked in advance what the plans for the bill are and made a decision accordingly not attending a meal if I knew the bill was being split and I couldnt afford. Never had courage to actually say I couldnt afford it though!! Has made me very aware of others who I think are in that situation now when making arrange.ents though and ensuring restaurants chosen are not over the top.