Feeling sad all the time

I am a very healthy 82 years old with no serious medical conditions or aches and pains and enjoy life.

A few months ago I was cutting the hedges with a telescopic hedge trimmer when I tripped over the sweeping brush and banged my right shoulder into the 5 ft tall concrete fence post. I was in agony. I had an Xray and was told it was a badly bruised bone and had to wear a sling. I am right handed so for four weeks I was in a mess. Have you tried using your left hand to wipe your bottom, yuk. I could not do the things I took for granted and I was miserable, even combing my hair with my left hand was awkward, putting on tights and knickers was a no no, I was knickerless and tightless.

To cut a long story short I felt so old and useless. But once it healed I was back to my old self. Illnesses and injuries can knock us all sideways. It makes you realise how dependant we are on our health especially when we live alone.

Depression and sadness are very different. Try going out for a walk if you can, say "hello" to all you meet, you might even strike up a conversation, it is amazing how much better you will feel.

There is excellent advice on this thread about therapy, GP, doing little things that give you pleasure. Also plan in the longer term for regular enjoyable events such as lunch with a friend, see a film, etc. Booking a holiday for next year is always a positive help and a residential 3 day class in art, or some other subject or a Warners coach trip whatever suits you. Having something to look forward to is very important if you are to feel positive..

I do sympathise. One of my son's and his family are off to France for Christmas and I will miss them, but I am lucky that other family will be here. Could you arrange something for the holidays that excites you? Especially if there's things your daughter wouldn't want to do, so you won't feel guilty about her missing out.
I am so sorry about your rabbit. Don't underestimate the feelings this evokes. Pets are a huge part of family life and the fact that it is your daughter’s will also remove a link to your joint past increasing your sadness.
Maybe a visit to the doctor would be a good idea. You don't have to take medication and they can suggest other solutions.
I wish you well.

You have a case of 'it all adds up'... example - infections in toenails after having them seen to professionally; broken front tooth; constant nosebleeds; arthritis playing up; eye floaters... so... take a deep breath and count your blessings... this is trite advice, I know, but it helps.

Apologies if anyone has suggested these strategies for countering negativity already.
Biscuitmuncher It seems as if you are dwelling on things that make you unhappy. You could try to counter this by listing things that make you happy. I would advise, if you don't have mobility problems:
* that you go outside at least once a day, preferably in the morning and look at the sky (don't look directly at the sun)
* for each of the sad things you listed in your post, think of and write down something that makes you happy. You might get a pretty notebook, diary or pad to record things. You may think there's nothing but these things might be small e.g. birds singing (some e.g. robins do sing in the winter) If you put food out for the birds they will come and you can watch them. Better still, put water out and you can watch them bathing (hilarious) or wallowing (pigeons).
* Write a list of your sad things. Last thing at night, put that list in a drawer (not in your bedside drawer) and tell yourself you will look at the list tomorrow. Eventually you might forget to look at it! Take your happy list with you everywhere, look at it often, update it regularly.

These things won't take the sad things away but will distract you from dwelling on them.
* Search Google for reasons to be cheerful

Here's a list of some of the things that make me happy:
Watching the birds
A sunny day
A cloudy day - spot shapes in clouds
Going outside in the rain (I have several umbrellas)and
Photos of my family
My hobbies (sewing, karate)for
My first coffee of the day
Video chatting with my daughter
My two lovely sons
My lovely dog

All excellent suggestions - beginning with a trip to your GP I would also recommend looking to become a volunteer especially with homeless, refugees, vulnerable adults etc.
I can empathise with your situation, I have now taken antidepressants for a number of years and find volunteering not only widens your circle of friends, enriches your life by supporting others less fortunate than yourself and definitely makes you more thankful for all the positives in your life.
Good luck

Sorry that you are feeling so low. Lots of good advice for you on here, so I will just add that I find Tisserand Sleep better Pillow Mist very useful.

I don't just use it on my pillow, I spray it around if I feel down. I find it both relaxing and uplifting.

I second teachkate with her idea about volunteering.
There are so many different possibilities, from soft volunteering such as meeting and greeting at a historic monument, to the tough volunteering such as prison visiting.
I have volunteered all my life, and have always found it enriching.
Another way of getting out and meeting people is local politics, if you happen to be interested. All ages are involved and it can be very sociable.

Tell your daughter you will miss her at Xmas so to make up for that , between you decide on a lovely afternoon tea in a posh hotel no expense spared! It will be something to look forward to after Xmas when the days are flat. Think about what you will wear and get yr hair done and look gorgeous! In the meantime plan something for every day- reading a book, watching tv or going on the bus to town. It’s easier said than done but you CAN DO IT! As another post said your daughter will have no idea that you are hurt but just tell her you will miss her. If your sadness gets worse definitely see yr dr. Much love and I’ll be thinking about you so please let us know how you are.

I think most of us tend to become more easily upset as we age, and quite honestly, dear Biscuitmuncher everything does seem to be conspiring against you right now.

A 19 year old daughter not coming home for Christmas, and if I know that score, announcing the fact casually at the end of a phone call, or on her way out of the door, upsets mothers - take it from me, I know. I dissolved into tears when my 45 year old daughter annonced she and her son would not be coming for the 10 day stay in his summer holiday that was planned.

AND your daughter's rabbit is dying - and it is no consolation to know that as she is nineteen now, and got it while she was at school, that it has had a long and happy life.

Anyone who has had a pet, and if you read the pets thread you will see I am one of them knows that by now that rabbit is part of the family and it is DYING- make a big fuss of it, ease its passing and dig a grave in the garden while you cry, and sore knee or not, you will manage the task. The last cat's grave I dug, I dug with a sore shoulder and used a hand trowel more than the garden fork!

Next point: no-one on this earth can feel cheerful with a sore knee! So, I hope it gets better soon, and if it doesn't that you can get an appointment with your GP and get something done about that knee. You didn't say what is wrong with it, so I don't know whether you will need to bug your doctor until he/she does something useful, or whether a tube of Volteren oinment will do the trick - they make pills too, which are good, but I do not know if you can buy them in the UK.

And you are not alone, even although it feels like it - we are all here and know all about the days where everything just feels wrong, grey, depressing and boring and when it ALL hurts. So moan all you want - that is one of the good things about Gransnet - we all know what you are talking about.

Hope you feel better soon,

So sorry Biscuit muncher that you are feeling so sad.My sister lost her husband in February after a hard battle with cancer.She also had a malignant melanoma removed from her foot during his treatment.Luckily she has got the all clear.She has had very sad low periods but found that a few sessions of bereavement counselling helped greatly, plus keeping busy,being taken out for lunch , walks with friends etc all help..I am going for a short break in Portugal with her and close family next month which has lifted her spirits.

BrandyGran

Tell your daughter you will miss her at Xmas so to make up for that , between you decide on a lovely afternoon tea in a posh hotel no expense spared! It will be something to look forward to after Xmas when the days are flat. Think about what you will wear and get yr hair done and look gorgeous! In the meantime plan something for every day- reading a book, watching tv or going on the bus to town. It’s easier said than done but you CAN DO IT! As another post said your daughter will have no idea that you are hurt but just tell her you will miss her. If your sadness gets worse definitely see yr dr. Much love and I’ll be thinking about you so please let us know how you are.

This and lots of other good advice on this thread. I've been there, its not nice, I also stopped watching the news and tried to laugh every day ..watching a comedy or show ( ascwell as going to.my gp). It did lift in a much better place now

People joke about empty nest syndrome but it's very real. Once all my children had left home I felt so low because I missed them, I felt like my purpose in life had just vanished and I cried every day, I went to see the doctor who reassured me that what I was going through was perfectly normal and very real, he gave me some medication to ease the low feelings. It does ease with time...are you an empty nester? It would explain a lot. Take care of yourself xx

Your DD is 19 years old so woukd be rare if she considered the effect her decision would have on you. Coukd you have an early Christmas doingvwhat you would normally do on the actual day. Many people do this to fit family commitments. Do you have a social circle with perhaps one you would feel safe confiding in. Just sharing can make a huge difference to your view of life. As others have said, with sleep being disturbed and your thoughts, a visit to GP may be due. A good moan is very uplifting, and everyone is entitled to have one. I hope your post has been some help to you.

Please see a doctor or if that’s hard to get try a Naturopath,I went to the latter & she recommended St John’s wart ( it worked) but everyone is different so you should definitely see someone ———-try to book something for Christmas that you can look forward to & arrange to see your daughter around then so you look forward to that as well-——-lots of lovely helpful,kind people on this site,big hugs

Such good advice you've been receiving from our gransnet. Follow them up, you need a bit of help here. Can't do it all on your own.

Biscuitmuncher I agree with most of the advice given by the lovely Gransnetters and I can’t really offer any new advice but didn’t want to read and not acknowledge your post.

St John’s wart No, it’s St John’s Wort - but take advice as it can work against other medication including I believe HRT.

There are several contraindications to the use of St John' Wort.

bnf.nice.org.uk/interactions/st-johns-wort/

Im sorry you’re feeling so sad Buscuitmuncher. Sometimes everything can seem so overwhelming can’t it - even though each thing taken in isolation is surmountable. There’s the old adage ‘This too shall pass’ Lots of good advice about therapy etc. on here, but personally I find that a really good exhausting cry can help clear my mind a bit. I find that things can make me really sad or disappointed, but over time. although it still makes me sad, I get a bit more used to things and pick myself up a bit. Not very good advice I’m afraid but it’s the best I’ve got! I hope you feel better soon 💐

Your DD was bullied at school she loved her pet it has died she will get over it. Now working away she has grown up and obviously a confident young woman.
You cannot get in the bath probably because of your sore knee. Take a shower and go and get your knee seen to at the Walk-in clinic or doctors.
Everything is happening at once and you are feeling it is overwhelming you it’s probably causing anxiety. Go and talk to your doctor that in itself may help you feel better. You are feeling sorry for yourself we have all probably been there at some point. I have that’s for sure talk about your concerns and worries don’t keep it to yourself.

keep on keeping on

Everyone has sorrow, we can decide the mistake around us, the only we could do is control ourselves. And, so many little things consist to life, we need to enjoy it.

Are you menopausal OP?
With a 19 year old daughter it occurs to me you might be.