Sitting there like a bag of nutty slack...

Sitting about like a tin of milk.

Hanging about like a spare pr.ck at a wedding (sorry).

Twice as much brain and you’d be a half-wit.

So thick they make two short planks look like a computer.

I'm glad my mum never knew that one.

Like a cow with a pitchfork was one of hers.

@ flappergirl Thank you for the explanation. I’ve often wondered. My gran obviously got the two sayings confused as she definitely said “Fanny Martin” 🤣
“Fanny Adams” and more often “Sweet Fanny Adams” was reserved for when someone was doing nothing to help. (Possibly as a more polite way of saying they’re doing sweet FA )

When I was a young teenager and experimenting with make up, my dad would say "Don't you look beautiful. Eyes like two pools of piss in the snow". That brought me down a bit.

If wit was shit you'd be constipated.
Not one of my mums 😂

If someone said 'I wish this, that or the other would happen', my mother-in-law would say 'Wish in one hand, poo in the other and see which one gets full first'.

He looked as if he had been set on fire, and been put out with a shovel. I read that somewhere. Wodehouse??

Dizzyribs

@ flappergirl Thank you for the explanation. I’ve often wondered. My gran obviously got the two sayings confused as she definitely said “Fanny Martin” 🤣
“Fanny Adams” and more often “Sweet Fanny Adams” was reserved for when someone was doing nothing to help. (Possibly as a more polite way of saying they’re doing sweet FA )

Dizzyribs. Yes, poor Fanny Adams' name was/is also used as a metaphor for sweet f... a... Again this was first used amongst sailors and initially referred to unpleasant tinned mutton rations but eventually evolved to mean "very little" or "a waste of space" as we would say today!

If someone looked miserable my Dad said they looked like a wet weekend.
My Grandad used to say the tea was so weak it was almost a fortnight

If something is too loose "it's like a c-ck in a sock!" (Not one of my mum's sayings)

This thread has brought back memories of my Cumbrian dad and grandad who often used a few expressions that I still occasionally use myself but have rarely, if ever, heard anywhere else.

I'm so hungry I could eat a pig's ear with mustard on

(On a frosty day) It's cold enough for a walking stick

If someone was looking very ill, they'd say he looked like he was not long for the top

Someone dead was Pushing up daisies

If we kids forgot to close the door, we were very sharply reminded to put wood in t'hole

If you enquired about their health and they were feeling okay, they'd say they were right as ninepence

And, if there was plenty of just about anything, with maybe a little to spare, there was enough to cobble dogs with.

And I wonder if anyone else here has ever encountered the accusation my partner's late mother would throw at anyone she considered to be idle when there was work to be done. She would say they were lolling about like Souse.
Who Souse was, nobody in the family ever found out.

Lettice my mother's comment about eye make up was "like two burnt holes in a blanket!"

Never heard of Souse, scribbles.

I'd love to know where some of the stranger sayings came from, originally.

We would get told off for lolling, or lolloping, but not the spouse part

Kate1949

I'm sure he means the bird Crossstitchfan.

But of course!! Never thought otherwise 😇

Casdon

My nana used to say they had ‘got a face like a bag of spanners’ about people she didn’t like - I never quite got if it meant they were ugly, or miserable (or maybe both).

That reminds me of she/he's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

A pub I worked in, in the 70s, had a lively crowd in the public bar I worked.

One evening a regular walked in and said usual please...spanner face...was puzzled and asked why spanner face....because you make my nuts turn...was the answer.

Wasnt really sure how to take that one 🤣

It sounds like a compliment to me, but I'm not sure what mens bits do... (apart from the basics, of course)

🤣🤣 I chose to take it as a compliment.
I didnt investigate further😂😂