Light up every room.

I also find it amazing that every child who died prematurely had such a wonderful, friendly sunny personality and was beloved by their teachers and classmates. But perhaps having been wise and selfless enough not to have children I am a mite cynical of all their little angels.

When my sister in law died in 1998, I wrote in the sympathy card that she always lit up a room. I wrote this because it was true and I'm not sure if I'd heard the phrase previously, and definitely not in the press. Whether it's just become 'the thing to say' these days, I wouldn't know.

Oh c’mon, if people can’t be nice when a young person has died it reflects much more badly on us than anyone else. And is never for the young person who died but loved ones left behind who will be comforted by the kind words of others.

Well said Babs03 surely a little bit of poetic license in such circumstances is allowed.

Babs03

Oh c’mon, if people can’t be nice when a young person has died it reflects much more badly on us than anyone else. And is never for the young person who died but loved ones left behind who will be comforted by the kind words of others.

This is how I feel.

Babs03

Oh c’mon, if people can’t be nice when a young person has died it reflects much more badly on us than anyone else. And is never for the young person who died but loved ones left behind who will be comforted by the kind words of others.

Of course. Kindness matters.

It's not just about someone young who has died, they lit up the room applies to anyone we have loved and lost if we feel it appropriate to express our feelings in that way. I can truly say I have known more than one person like this in my life and am the better for it.

Oh what miserable horrors some of you are. If a person dies young, why not say something nice, it's also nice for the bereaved to hear this.

This post is offensive and could be responsible for causing deep hurt to certain bereaved people.
When my son died, suddenly and tragically a few short years ago, people were so shocked and saddened that they mostly said that they didn't know what to say.
Later of course, the letters and cards came. Whatever was written in them was meant sincerely by those who knew our son. The words of condolence were received with gratitude.
No one is perfect, we all recognise that, but when we lose someone so dear to us we remember the best of their personality.
Our son lit up our lives. I know that because when he died a light went out.
My kindest thoughts to all who are sad because they have lost someone dear to them.

This is a horrible post.

It's not offensive. U2BB is just having a grump. Which is allowed.

She may also be telling the absolute truth from her perspective.

Offence is taken, not given. I'm hot offended. My daughter died too young.

*not

Is okay to have a grump but surely there are countless other things to grump about.

It's OK to have a grump. Full stop.

Nobody has to respond to someone else's grump if they don't like it.

I have a dear, dear friend, who certainly doesn’t light up every room, so I wouldn’t be able to say that about her 😂 she doesn’t find joy in anything or anybody. Her health is not the best, so who can blame her ? But she will be there for you in a heartbeat, if you are having a crisis. I know that.
However, it takes some doing, to get a hearty laugh out of her. She is a ‘moaning minny’ but we all love her.

My mum had several grandaughters- two of them she claimed, always brought sunshine into the house when they went to visit. The others? Not so much so.

Some people just do carry light around with them, children especially but not everyone notices the light, which is a shame.

Ok, I stand rebuked.
I am truly sorry if I have upset anyone.
It is a very personal opinion, I am not at all a horrible person , well not very often.
And yes I am a grump today.

The thing is, it is sometimes it is true. When my sister died in a road accident, aged 45. We had a huge response to her death.

Her job heading a heritage orgaisation meant she met a lot of people through work, but we had people coming up to us saying, that in the course of work, people you worked with did die, but they had been shocked to find how utterly devastated they were by my sister's death, because there was just something about her.

Twenty five years after her death I met soneone through a heritage charity I volunteered with, and in conversation it came up that my sister had been the director of this charity. It turned out this man had known her and worked with her and he spoke about her with warmth and enthusiasm, as if he had seen her a month before, Like all the others he said that when ever she came into a meeting or ran an event, something happened. She was not a noisy person, she was quite quiet, but if she was in a room, the whole altmosphere lit up and everyone acted amicably.

Sometimes there are people, who do light up the room when they go in.

For chlldren I think that is always true, they are part of a family, and when they enter the room everyone does focus on them. I know that is true with my grandchildren. they do indeed light up the room when they come into it.

I didn’t take the post as offensive.
As a previous post says, offence is taken.
I do agree that some things said after a death ( particularly to the media) are trotted out so frequently now that, to me, just sound disingenuous.
I can definitely see where the OP is coming from.

Whatever little bit of comfort anybody can gain , its fine.

I'm not keen on the teddies and flowers and balloons but each to their own.

At least they didn’t go over the rainbow bridge 😬😬😬

eggplant I’m so with you on the teddies and flowers.
Such a waste at the end of the day. Why not make a donation to a charity the deceased would have liked or had supported themselves.

bridie54

eggplant I’m so with you on the teddies and flowers.
Such a waste at the end of the day. Why not make a donation to a charity the deceased would have liked or had supported themselves.

Yes, exactly. Having being raised in a very austere and non showy religion, I find some of this stuff tricky.

Babs03

Oh c’mon, if people can’t be nice when a young person has died it reflects much more badly on us than anyone else. And is never for the young person who died but loved ones left behind who will be comforted by the kind words of others.

I agree. The suffering families go through when someone young dies stays with them forever. It is a very difficult trauma to work through