Light up every room.

My friend died aged 14. I can truly say she lit up every room, she had everything, clever, pretty, loving, funny., except health.. nobody who knew her will ever forget her. And many I have known and loved were like her., something shone, I can't explain. But I have been so grateful for the comfort such words can bring.

I shall draw a line under this now and not read the thread anymore.
I realise I have upset a lot of people and that really was far from my intention.
It is still a phrase I really do not like reading but as it brings much comfort to so many I shall accept it in the spirit in which it is written.

A nice gracious response Usedtobeblonde 👏🏻👏🏻

Babs03

Oh c’mon, if people can’t be nice when a young person has died it reflects much more badly on us than anyone else. And is never for the young person who died but loved ones left behind who will be comforted by the kind words of others.

👏👏👏👏

A dear young friend of mine died a couple of years ago. She had been ill with bowel cancer, then breast cancer and finally a brain tumour. Everyone who knew her was devastated. I don't know about lighting up a room, but she was a truly lovely person. I never knew her to do anything nasty and I never heard a word against her.

Some people have totally missed the point. It is not un-nice to not particularly like a certain turn of phrase. I am sure the OP and every subsequent poster on this thread would be perfectly "nice" if presented with the news of a young person dying in whatever words that news was expressed.

English is a very rich language. Achieving "niceness" in situations where it is needed is very easy and I'm sure most people do.

I find it interesting that the ones who go on most about being kind or nice are the most critical of variants from their limited and strict definitions. Would that they were as gracious as the OP.

When our twins died a few days after they were born premature many years ago my friends were amazing and helped with shopping, moving out the little cots and kept me company. My husbands boss - a doctor - had also had a similar experience many years before ours and he lent us their rather large parrot for a while for us to look after when they had a short holiday - and it really helped to have something to look after for a while and come to grips with life. None of them said any of the 'niceties' that people seem to say today but were there for us which meant an awful lot.

Babs03

Oh c’mon, if people can’t be nice when a young person has died it reflects much more badly on us than anyone else. And is never for the young person who died but loved ones left behind who will be comforted by the kind words of others.

👏👏👏

Aber57

If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. Agree with the balloons though. Far better to plant a tree perhaps?

I agree

I do cringe when I see all those helium balloons which are so bad for the environment plus the flowers wrapped in plastic.
I know people mean well and want to express their sorrow when tragedy occurs but planting trees in memory of someone is so much more meaningful.

JaneJudge

Isn't there are meme that has a photo of a plaque on a memorial bench that says something along the lines of ;So and so was a good egg but was awful when she was hungry'

I'll remember that for DH (should he go first!!)
aka Hangry!

Our DD1 died suddenly age 7 months just before Christmas in the 1970s. After the funeral I picked up the Christmas issue of the local rag and there on the front page was an article at least 3 inches long - about how my DD "had collapsed and died and was rushed to hospital".........um I was there and the ambulance crew could not revive her and they kindly waited for my PIL to see here before they took her to hospital.

THE WRONG WORDS

and I have spent over 40 years just wanting to get hold of the journalist and the editor to hurt them back...never believe anything in the press or the media.

It is always difficult to find the right words to comfort a bereaved family but please at least just send your sympathy.

Athrawes and chocolatepudding what a terrible time that was for you
The tragic deaths of young children weigh on the soul for a lifetime.There really are no appropriate words either then or now but people being kind and helpful at the time would have helped am sure.