Do you ever get a day ?

Baggs, I think of you often, my daughter got two cancers and it should have been me. 💐

Baggs

Never with no idea why. My daughter died and it should have been me.

But there is still a lot to enjoy in my life and a lot to work at so I just plod on and accept – even seek – challenges.

I see it as an aching empty hole in my life that I have to work around. It's tough but what other option is there really? Life is tough. Always has been, always will be.

William Hazlitt: “The art of Life is to know how to Enjoy a little and to Endure very much…”

You’ve expressed that so well. I feel exactly the same. 💐

Lona

Baggs, I think of you often, my daughter got two cancers and it should have been me. 💐

This is how an ageing mother feels, isn’t it, Lona? ❤️

Squiffy, you too ❤️

To those who lost children early, my heart goes out to you. Just can't even begin to imagine the pain.

Talking to a few psychiatrists in the past, there is a big difference between the sadness, melancholy and depression that can be attributed to real causes, and those that do not have direct causes.

I wake ,if I managed to sleep,with a real feeling of dread at the pit of my stomach.I have a sister recently paralysed by a stroke ,2 friends in hospices on end of life care and a daughter with multiple serious health issues.I do know that that’s just life but it doesn’t help when your mind is running ata hundred knots.Of course I do what I can for all these people ,it usually involves food so I,m to be found baking or making a days supply of home cooked food for those who are still able to eat it.Usually at 6am.
I know I’m lucky though I have the best most loving caring family ,6 beautiful healthy ,bright and funny grandchildren and a wonderful husband who I adore .It just seems I’m losing people much too regularly and some far too soon and it scares me.

Yes there are reasons to feel low some days, so sorry for those who have lost their children, cannot imagine. For us is a living bereavement, have been estranged from our eldest daughter and GCs for over ten years, little to no hope of a reconciliation, thankfully we have three other daughters, also estranged from their sister, and other GCs, but the other day one of my estranged GCs had a birthday so my OH and I bought a small cake and lit a candle in the middle of it. Was a sad day.
Here’s to all on GN who feel low today.
🙏🏾❤️

I m so sorry for those on here who have lost children or have other reasons to be so sad it must be unbearable ❤️

I was just talking about a no real reason bad day , and it seems
I m not alone
I m normal on a very even keel but yesterday for absolutely no reason I can think of, I was so sad, totally tearful, didn’t want to do anything and just felt really, really low.whatever it was seems to have improved and I m grateful to everyone whose cheered me up
It seems I m not alone and others have some unexplainable days too, perhaps one of the downsides of living alone and the thought of a long winter of dark cold days ahead
❤️💐

Baggs your attitude is a joy. Thank you.

RosiesMaw2

I can sympathise with all of you who have “down days” - less “black dog” , more “grey puppy”
There’s a big difference though isn’t there between feeling sad or depressed for a reason, (and heaven knows there’s reason enough these days) and just feeling “Eurgh”
If you can identify a reason and can do something about it, that’s fine. But we can’t always change events - only perhaps how we react to them.
Just feeling low could be the result of disturbed or inadequate sleep, harbouring a virus which is yet to appear, lack of sunlight, or of company or stimulus - boredom.
I don’t know the answer, for some people, activity or exercise does it, stimulating the endorphins , while for others just hunkering down with a favourite book or film can do it. Of course a lovely surprise out of the blue usually works - but they are harder to organise!
Treat yourself perhaps, go out for a coffee and slice of cake and if possible try not to overthink it.
Just as we can feel tired physically I’m sure we can also feel mentally tired and need to rest .

Very wise words👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Squiffy

Baggs

Never with no idea why. My daughter died and it should have been me.

But there is still a lot to enjoy in my life and a lot to work at so I just plod on and accept – even seek – challenges.

I see it as an aching empty hole in my life that I have to work around. It's tough but what other option is there really? Life is tough. Always has been, always will be.

William Hazlitt: “The art of Life is to know how to Enjoy a little and to Endure very much…”

You’ve expressed that so well. I feel exactly the same. 💐

More very wise words from baggs

If no real cause for a depressed feeling it can sometimes be put down to shifting hormones.

I cannot understand the saying " this too will pass " I think it is from the bible . Perhaps it will not pass but just get worse who can say .

So glad you’re feeling better today Bluebelle 💐 and a 🤗

Thanks so much Summerby it was a horrid day and so unlike me I was really confused at how low I went in 24 hours

Yes! Last week was one such. It’s what I call my”soggy” days/weeks - crying/sobbing for nothing, being totally “meugh”, avoiding company…
The sudden and totally unexpected death on DS2 then having to nurse DH through terminal cancer very soon after unmanned me.
I have turned from “glass half full” to wondering why I’m still here and what the point of being alive is. Everything seems to conspire against me.
I feel sometimes that having had a really blessed life, the gods have decided that it is my turn to suffer.
However, I generally get back to being positive (on the surface), and try to make other people’s lives worth it.

From "Esmay": There's incredible discontent at church .
Some ladies are threatening to walk due to the behaviour of some parishioners
It isn't just in one group , but in two .
I've never experienced such nastiness .
It's so prevalent that I've expressed my disquiet to the Vicar .
She's set up a meeting to try to smooth things over .

I left our local church because of this. Never have I met such snobbery, superficiality, flakiness, excuses, cliqueiness, in my life from the rich elderly of our very rich coastal town. It left me feeling cold, unwelcome, and so I left and went to another slightly wild and evangelical parish along the coast where they have a real community hub of all ages and all types.

I get days which are grey and then I look at the news and see what is happening in other countries and get myself a good book, do some art, go for a walk or bake a cake. I 'white light' myself and say there is always someone worse of than me. I hate it when people 'white light' other people as i think it is rude to be so pious but to myself it is OK as I do need it sometimes. 'White lighting' is when for example you say 'I am so fed up with all the rain' and the other person replies 'Be grateful we have rain as there are countries where people have to walk miles for water'. Indeed on those darkest days that life can send us, the passing of a loved one, a very unfortunate incident or news, then I feel people should take as much time as they need and do what is best for their self care and the care of their loved ones. It is at those times when we know our true friends and family. Sending a blessing to you all today, whatever your day brings you!

Not for a whole day, just a moment now and then especially when I hear of yet another friend becoming ill or worse

Having a few plans for the day helps, that habit started the day after my husband died and I started to write just a few `to do` things in my diary for the next day, something to entice me out of bed

My day needs to always end on a positive note and more and more that positivity comes from crafting, when I make something lovely to wear, that fills me with joy. Cycling has the same effect, which makes the cold months more difficult

I avoid negative people, had a lot of energy-suckers in my past life, no more. My time now is for me and I stay in my self-imposed happy bubble. I refused to get involved in local whats app and similar. I have close family and all my siblings are close, we contact each other daily, no need for `outsiders`.

Getting old is what can cause that sinking grey feeling for me, losing the ability to do jobs and go up ladders but they are all `what ifs` and `what ifs ` don`t get space in my world, not if I can help it

If that grey feeling starts to descend, I change my scene, go and do some difficult sewing or a fast and active short walk or take a cycle ride.

I think it's a case if finding what give each of us a lift in mood. For me it's small pleasures. Talking to my dog, good cup of coffee, seeing something beautiful. Going for a walk.
Putting on a bit of makeup.
Hope everyone gets a bit of a boost today.

BlueBelle - do you think the "not so great" somewhat darker days help us appreciate the light?
Not promoting misery you understand!

Tuaim - I fully understand your feelings .
My church is a huge part of my history .
And my faith has sustained me throughout my life .
At Easter , I considered finding another church after the unpleasantness ,
but I have lots of friends there .
And I sometimes go to another church for mid week communion .
My Vicar is a close friend .
So I can talk to her .
I know that she finds some members of her congregation really difficult .
I think that the fundamental problem is that they are very elderly , physically ill and show signs of what looks like to me - dementia .
I've experienced it and my Vicar hasn't .
The most impossible are in charge of certain church activities and it's causing massive problems - some members of the congregation are threatening to walk .

Have a couple of bad nights per week where everything feels harder to cope. Then I get up & think about my lovely family who have their upsets too but dont let it get them down too much & give myself a good talking to & get rid of the big empty feelings. Think it is just my age creeping up on me at this time of year along with grey days, dark mornings & evenings. Once Spring is on the way I will feel better as usual!

Bluebells
Absolutely , I wish I could cry.
Today is the anniversary of my mummy’s death💔
Today my daughter and two grandchildren returned after a long weekend home to France 💔
Next month is the first anniversary of my sister in laws death from secondary cancer. She was only 55, and my best friend.
I hate this time of year, it’s raining all the time, dark when you wake up, dark early afternoons!
Just not good

I just want a simple lifeworry-free life, we've downsized and tried to simplify the way we live but still there is daily harassment of one kind or another.
I know that I tend to get anxious and stress about silly things since menopause but try to tell myself that none of what is happening will matter in a few weeks time - or a few years, depending on the problem.
I used to wake in the early hours and stress about things which would only be trivia during daylight, but I've defeated those worries.
I like to get things organised in advance, but my husband doesn't think that this is necessary, similarly I like to leave home and arrive on time when I'm meeting people and he really isn't bothered. Possibly his more laid-back attitude is good for me!