Dealing with a Grandson who shows signs of autism -

Be guided by his parents. Don't force food on him but give him food you know he will eat but also offer one new food. Or put a range of food on the table and let him choose. Routine is good. If you know something is going to change, warn him beforehand. What toys does he like? Buy at least two of each in case one breaks or goes missing. I follow a man on twitter who has an autistic child and is autistic himself. He has loads of good ideas

Toe walking is an indicator of possible autism. If your gs is going to nursery it’s probable that they will mention anything they notice to the parents.
He may be too young still but Lego or the junior bigger Lego might be worth looking out for. You can do it together side by side rather than facing each other.

Please do not label your gs,my friends were so worried about their GC who wasn,t walking by 18 months they convinced themselves he had serious issues the meant he would never walk
He,s a perfectly normal happy 4 year old now.Children develope at different rates and shouldn,t be compared to others …ever.
My beautiful gd always walked on her tiptoes…she,s 13 now and has a great collection of high heeled shoes and boots…she just wasn,t happy about her brother and sister being taller than her.Her latest bargain buy are red stilletoes.She takes after me !

Duplo is made by Lego and is bigger.

You can often pick Lego pieces up in charity shops. It’s v expensive if bought new.

There is no one size fits all re activities etc. Toys that spin or turn may engage him e.g. spinning tops, puzzles with cogs, roll a ball toys ( going down a spiral ramp) etc
Bead track toys are often popular.

If he’s attending Nursery now the staff may observe any difficulties with speech and language skills, social interaction skills and sensory needs. They may speak to parents and suggest Speech and Language therapy and outside agency involvement such as a specialist teacher.

Re food, please be led by parents and your Grandson. When you say he gags on food you know he likes, the difficulty may be related to texture, brand or even how it’s presented. Please don’t introduce new foods or hide foods as this can lead to refusal of accepted foods in children with restricted diets.
You could research ARFID or Sensory Processing Disorder. Both are diagnosable but you may find tips for activities and dos and don’ts.

You could do ready steady go activities and anticipation rhymes pausing for a reaction. Repetitive rhymes and books are good. He may enjoy interactive board books especially tactile ones or Things That Go books. Some may have wheels that turn.

Sounds like you will have lots of fun together.

Indigo8

Duplo is made by Lego and is bigger.

Yes, Duplo is very good for little fingers. We had a big box of it (I bought it in TK Maxx) which has now gone to the charity shop.
You could use the lid of the box as a base to build on.

If he doesn’t really see anyone outside of his home, I wonder why, he may well be slow to engage and speak as his parents will probably preempt his needs.
I would just cater for his age group with toys.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-761397-81bvml86yal-ac-sl1500-.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-226661-81lem7gvwel-ac-sl1500-.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-365016-710qv54eqil-ac-sl1500-.jpg

Would he sit and do some very simple puzzles if you sit beside him doing another one? Wooden ones where the pieces fit into a shape, perhaps of cars or trucks?

I found some in Lidl too, centre aisle. They may be getting toys etc in for Christmas.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-367720-710qv54eqil-ac-sl1500-.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-566028-81lem7gvwel-ac-sl1500-.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-985344-81bvml86yal-ac-sl1500-.jpg

Oh, the pictures didn't post.

🤔 they weren't there the first time.

My DGS who has autism loved fidget spinners when he was very young. I believe they are less popular now but you can still buy them. They are therapeutic for some children.

He gags at food that I know he likes
He rarely speaks

Is he tongue-tied? The GP should be able to tell and it is a simple procedure to correct this.

Tiptoe walking does not *necessarily indicate autism and some children do this and will grow out of it.

Greenfinch

My DGS who has autism loved fidget spinners when he was very young. I believe they are less popular now but you can still buy them. They are therapeutic for some children.

You can buy lots of very good 'fidget' toys now - I've even seen a fidget toy advent calendar for sale this year. The Works normally has a range of fidget toys which are very affordable.

There may be signs of autism, his parents are very young and may be unaware of symptoms. He is in nursery now so hopefully if autism is there it will be picked up.
You are a loving and caring GM , he is lucky to have you. If symptoms continue could you speak to your DS/ DIL about your concerns? Not to say " I worry about him being autistic" but perhaps " I am a bit concerned that he is not speaking and that he he is always on tippy toes , do you think he should see a doctor"? If there is a problem a diognosis is better early rather than late. I am well aware that these symptoms may not be a sign of autism but a professional assessment might be an idea -there is nothing to lose by doing that. Good luck.

Many in my family have ADD, not the same as autism, but easily distracted. I entertain them all with the same routine- lots of walks, cooking/stirring/cutting shapes/eating. We make tents/forts in their play room. We use torches and search. We colour. We read books. We never watch telly - too upsetting.

I would also get him outside for walks NannaNell what 3 year old doesn’t like leaves, sticks, ducks or spotting a bus, dependent on where you live.

I don’t think it’s the parents who have to come to that conclusion/ diagnosis. It will be picked up when he starts Nursery and further referrals by the GP will be required. The children of 2 close friends were diagnosed with autism about 25 years ago. They are both doing well and earning a decent living.

Hi, when my GC was 2 we noticed similar traits. He was also non verbal. We expressed our concerns to DS and DIL and they had no idea as they were first time parents and had nothing to compare against. They took immediate action contacting the relevant authorities for help but it was a long slow process to get a diagnosis of Autism. This diagnosis has entitled them to all sorts of help, he’s 11 now, speaks well, is very funny and attends a special school. Please encourage the parents to take action to ensure he gets the best help possible.

My DD has autism and ADHD and is a nurse.

She loved all sorts of toys and books when she was little.

I was a Speech and Language Therapist. I ran courses for families of pre-school children with suspected autism and severe communication difficulties. Obviously, NannaNell1967 you are quite right that the parents of the little one will need to be the ones to seek help, and you will need to choose your moment before suggesting they get an opinion from a Health Visitor/doctor. However, from the point of view of services and educational input, the sooner the better. I can't agree with people who say "don't label your child" and advocating wait and see. You have noticed some possible indicators and getting the right needs assessment and input can take a long time. There's no waiting list so long as the one you are not even on yet! As for the suggestion that tongue-tie causes gagging and lack of speech - this is extremely unlikely. Even if the sub-lingual frenulum extends right to the tip of the tongue, children can still swallow and talk. You can try it yourself by keeping the tip of your tongue down while you swallow. Infants with extreme tongue tie are picked up at the maternity ward and have an immediate procedure if it interferes with feeding. Tongue-tie does not stop children talking. The only speech sound which might be affected is /r/ and most children substitute /w/ for /r/ until school age anyway ("I want a wed one".) Regarding looking after the little one, routine is important for all children, and particularly those with challenges. Can parents send over a selection of favourites? Try and get down with the child and do a bit of parallel play with the same materials, accompanied by a bit of simple commentary: "Blue car goes ZOOM". "Mine car is broken". "What a big tower!" Wishing you all the best - you are very wise to say you are not worried about what he will be, and that your love is unconditional.

I do agree that if it is autism then the sooner it is diagnosed the better and it's likely that the nursery will pick it up if this is the case.
There are quite a few children with autism at my grandchildren's primary school and they can cope very well there. Some don't like noise, some don't mix with other children, but many are very "normal" if slightly withdrawn.
One little boy there doesn't have school lunches because, even if the food is something that he likes, if it isn't absolutely identical to the one he gets at home he simply won't eat it. Maybe you can check with your daughter exactly how she prepares the food that he likes?
I wonder if you could take him to a big toy shop or toy department when it is quiet? Then he can see if there are any toys that he likes. I'd agree with other posters that you need extra sets of toys if that is possible as a missing piece would probably upset him.
"Orchard" make loads of different toys: pairing games, a lovely shopping trolley game and easy jigsaws, amongst others. They can supply missing pieces if things get lost. My own grandchildren love their games and have played them since they were less than two years old. Many toy shops sell them or you can buy them online from the makers.

We always thought our grandson showed signs of autism from an early age but said nothing. A big mistake. He has just been diagnosed aged 10 after having to pay privately and his parents going through hell trying to get help. All the family suspected autism but didn't like to say anything. Please don't make the same mistake.

NemosMum, thank goodness for your advice. I too tire of people who say ' don't label him or 'wait and see he will grow out of it'. Assessment is paramount and if there is a diognosis the stops will then be pulled out to ensure the child gets what is necessary to progress. If this were my GC I would be speaking to the parents.