Would you allow a neighbour to use your shower?

For context, the neighbours on the MN thread do know one another- they walk their dogs together.

Obviously it is up to the householder whether she lets people use her facilities, but yes, I would allow it. I would give a set time, and expect the neighbour to stick to it - I wouldn’t want to go to use the bathroom to find it occupied, or have someone knocking on the door when I am showering- but it’s not a huge imposition. A shower takes less than half an hour from start to finish.

I don’t socialise with my neighbours, but would do them a favour if they needed it, and hope they would do the same for us.

To be honest I think there must be some one who can repair a shower without having to wait two weeks.

So if this happens to any one,
may I suggest going to one of the local gym/s I know this is easier in big city's than it is in rural areas and say your prepared to pay for there showers facility,or ask in one of the large hotel chains offering to pay for the use of their showers.

I'm deeply ashamed of my shabby bathroom , but if a neighbour asked me if she could use it - the answer has to be yes .
I think that it's mean to refuse someone something so necessary .
I've given people accommodation for months .

I've learnt that not being a good neighbour is to your detriment .
You never know if you're going to be locked out , be too ill to get your prescription ..
the list is endless .
My neighbour does things for me and I do things for her .
Living next to someone , who is difficult and unpleasant makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home .
My old neighbour drove me so crazy that I went through a stage of mowing my lawn when I knew that he was out -taking his grandson to a class .
I've even made detours to avoid him .
It was a shame , because I got on well with his wife and daughters . When they've invited ne round - he's sulked and postured .
I dread to think what he's like to live with .

I would happily let a neighbour use my shower for a fortnight. Why ever not? I think it is really important to be a good neighbour.

I would feel alright about it however if it was me in the situation I would not dream of asking a neighbour I would manage with a good wash down, you can keep perfectly clean without a full on shower
As I live alone I wouldn’t want a lone male coming in and out unless he was a neighbour very well known to me

Totally depends. If I know them well enough that I walk my dog with them, most likely. If I don't know them, then probably not. I find it a very personal space to share. I would never ask that of my neighbour myself. I'd go to the local pool for a shower in their changing rooms.

I did once tell a friend no when she asked if her husband could use my shower. He wanted to come over straight after work and worked in an industry where he'd have been taking off clothes covered in chemicals and other fibres and I didn't want to have to tidy that up (I knew he was a messy sort. I also felt uncomfortable with the idea of a man I didn't know well getting undressed and dressed in my bedroom/ensuite while I was home alone with young kids.

I'll do a lot for a lot of people but that sort of thing should be for people you know well enough, IMO.

When we were in that situation - our one bathroom was being re-fitted, the bath removed and a walk in shower fitted - we’d lived here for less than a year. Observing what was happening two neighbours immediately offered use of their bathroom (shower and toilet). We were very touched by such kindness.

Would we do the same for our current neighbours? Yes we would, they are all both pleasant and helpful.

In the event we were able to use a shower at our sons home, a 20 minute drive away. Most of the time the toilet remained in situ, when it wasn’t coffee at the local pub or a visit to the nearest supermarket solved the problem.

A few years ago, my neighbour who keeps an eye on my flat, had problems with her shower while she had a friend staying with her. She asked by text if they could use mine so it was easy for me to agree.

A few years later, the same neighbour was without a dining table over Christmas so, as we would be away, I offered her the use of mine, mainly so that they weren’t eating Christmas dinner on their laps! A very acceptable bottle of wine awaited our return.

On both occasions, I would have agreed without hesitation even if we had been at home.

I wouldn’t hesitate in agreeing in those circumstances. It would need to be a time agreed in advance though, not random times or in the evening.

In the circumstances described yes definitely, in fact we’ve done it and had it reciprocated.

Yes. We are in the lucky position of having three showers, one hardly ever used. Even if I didn’t know the person too well they would be welcome to use that one.. Would think twice though if it were my personal shower.

It would be a yes from me too.
As I’m usually out most mornings, I’d probably give my neighbour a spare key to let themselves in, etc. should that be more convenient for them.
Otherwise, I’d be happy to set an evening routine.

It’s a good job we are all different BL - but your lifesttyle obviously suits you.

I’ve been in this very position recently as was having a new bathroom put in. My neighbours have been lovely and let me use their showers. I do know them well though.
We have a street WhatsApp group and a neighbour I don’t know asked if they could use someone’s shower as theirs was broken. I offered and was proud to show off my lovely new bathtoom (I just have the one.)
A shower takes 5 minutes so it really isn’t a big deal. I like being of use to others and it’s been lovely to see how my neighbours stepped in for me.

All else being equal = I think it's fair enough to provide shower facilities temporarily if need be.

One of the first reasons I realised it wasn't going to work out with my current neighbours was that (in the course of having my house renovated) I was hoping/sorta expecting a neighbour to offer use of their shower whilst the (one and only) bathroom was being gutted. It was only 5 days in total that the problem was there - so not very long at that. But there was no offer whatsoever of using either shower or loo whilst my bathroom was being gutted and re-done.

I didn't feel it appropriate to ask - but had thought/hoped I'd get an offer (as that's what I would have done myself) - but nope. So I just figured that 5 days wasn't that long to simply not shower at all and manage as best I could for the use of a loo and at least be glad that being in my 60's meant I could manage better without a loo than when I'd been a younger/still having periods agegroup. So yep....I used a bucket if need be in some room that hadn't yet been gutted and followed by being glad of a readily accessible outside drain for disposal purposes.

Not being offered "use of facilities" was one of the first clues my neighbours had no intention of being friendly with me (as I'd been hoping for - and I would have been fine with things like taking in parcels/feeding a pet cat if they went away/etc and had rather expected that sort of 'casual favours' sort of relationship). The only offer I got from the next door neighbour was being asked in for a drink/nibbles when it was Christmas not that long after I'd moved in - so I thought "Ah here we go - a bit of a welcome" and in I went - only to find the purpose of this was to make it very plain to me that I should do as she wanted and my life would be made uncomfortable if I didn't do so!!!! (which she then proceeded to do when it was clear that I was going to live like a "normal householder", ie with reasonable consideration, but was shocked/surprised at the idea even being mooted of being ordered around by a neighbour....).

As long as they were good neighbours it would be OK for 2 weeks, I actually have 5 neighbours all are good, so I hope they dont all have shower failure at the same time.

I would definitely allow.
As long as the neighbour doesnt have a bad reputation for something or other.

This has happened to one of my kids and her DH.

Used the shower of a neighbour, who they knew a bit.
My son in law would not dream of turning up at work unshowered.

David49

As long as they were good neighbours it would be OK for 2 weeks, I actually have 5 neighbours all are good, so I hope they dont all have shower failure at the same time.

I know my neighbours, our house has 2 bathrooms, I would allocate one for their use until the shower was sorted.

However as all our neighbours houses have 2 bathrooms, I cannot see the situation arising.

I would help a neighbour in any circumstances. We never know when any of us might need help. It truly amazes me as to why some people are so territorial and precious about their living spaces.
Our next-door neighbour gave up his car earlier this year - both he and his wife loved to go out but his health was declining and he, very sensibly, decided to stop driving. They do have family living quite close by but they also know they only have to ask and we will help out - and we have done so several times.
We don't see this as an imposition, we genuinely want to help them.
What goes round, comes round.

Wondering if peoples attitudes vary according to where they live in the country too? eg back in my home city = I would have just headed for a spa/swimming pool or something (in line with my attitude there of "There's no such thing as an emergency - one just goes out to find whatever-it-is") - but in a remoter area one needs more to have the attitude of "help out/be helped out".

Hence I said nowt, but felt upset when I didnt get offered use of a shower when I needed it by my immediate neighbour. Though my own attitude now that I'm here is "This is a remote area - ie West Wales" and so there's many fewer facilities here (ie one can't just "go out and get it - re whatever is missing"). So my own take on "helping out with favours" these days even includes that, as long as I've met them in person and think they're okay, then someone can sleep on my sofabed for a night if their car lets them down and knowing, as I do, that public transport is awful here (ie it's bad at any time - but pretty much non-existent of an evening).

That's even included letting a guy I'd only met the once invite himself to stay the night on my sofabed (as he lives in North Wales) and he's come back and done so a second night on there for something else he was going to.

So - yep...."casual favours" is more necessary if one is somewhere remote and/or (as in this woman's case) she doesnt have someone "closer" to her that she can ask.

I know a lot of people would not like to ask so as soon as I heard that their shower was not working I would offer to come and use mine.

We have been without hot running water for over a fortnight after a leak in (a fairly new) hot water tank in the loft. For a few days we didn’t have any water apart from the filter drinking water. I wouldn’t want to ask neighbours to use their facilities although I imagine they would say yes. Most days I shower at the local sports centre, usually after a class so we’re getting by.
Hopefully a new tank will be fitted next week, whilst I’m away staying with my daughter!

Absolutely! We too have 3 showers and I would be happy for a neighbour to use one. We are a close community where I live despite there being quite a few houses and we all help each other out.

We have used a neighbours shower, as well as their kitchen when we had work done. We only did it for a few days though and thanked them with flowers and a voucher for a meal at a local restaurant.
So of course we would let a neighbour use our shower, we know most of them quite well, but would understand if we didn’t know our neighbours not wanting to do this.