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Would you allow a neighbour to use your shower?

(184 Posts)
biglouis Fri 08-Nov-24 01:11:55

Interesting discussion on Mumsnet where a neighbour has a broken shower that cant be fixed for 2 weeks and asks OP if she can use hers “every other day”. Op is taken aback and wants to refuse as she does not like visitors. However most posters tell her she is mean to refuse.

My nephew was recently in this position as the housing association could not fix it for 2 weeks. He showered here twice a week (40 minute walk) and the rest of the time made do with an old fashioned wash at the sink. Ive also had to do that for several days when my bathroom was being re-fitted. I would not have dreamed of asking a neighbour. I think its a dreadful imposition.

I was brought up in a house with an outside loo and no bathroom so all we had was a flannel wash at the sink or a tin bath once a week. We managed.

I would not allow a neighbour past my door. I don’t know them and they don’t know me.

What would you do?

Bazza Sun 10-Nov-24 13:52:45

Without hesitation even if we’ve never been in each other houses, we chat over the fence, and take in parcels etc. But would I ask? No probably not. Having been laid up after ankle surgery for three months unable to shower, a flannel, hot water and a bar of soap was all I could manage. Don’t t think I smelled!

Fartooold Sun 10-Nov-24 13:53:12

Many years ago we were having our “up the garden lavatory” no bathroom Victorian terraced cottage up graded we had no facilities except running water for two weeks! All our neighbours were fantastic even helping with laundry ( we had 2 under 2) I am eternally grateful. And yes would help others out.

Silverlady333 Sun 10-Nov-24 14:22:34

We had only been in our house a few months when I saw my next door neighbours were having their bathroom renovated. I saw workmen in and out of their house. I popped around to offer the use of our bathroom but the workmen said 'Oh they aren't here they are on holiday'. When I got to know them better I mentioned it to them and they were thankful for the thought but said they would have been able to go to their daughters house. We got on great after that. I was very sad to see them go when they down sized. The young couple who live next door now are a different kettle of fish. They barely say hello. We are lucky that we have two showers in our house so have always had one to use while work was done on the other.

Tinydancer Sun 10-Nov-24 15:04:07

My neighbour of almost 40 years could not use her shower for about 5 days due to a leak. Both single mums and had a young child all those years ago. Although not especially close friends I would say over the years we have got to a point where we try and help each other if possible. I can't remember if she asked or if I offered. After a full day of work she would have to attend to her horses so I was happy to let her use my shower. We have had the odd take away together over the years and as a thank you she took me out for a meal. I wouldn't do it for everyone but didn't mind at all in this instance.

knspol Sun 10-Nov-24 15:04:13

I only have 1 relatively near neighbour and would let her and family use my shower if needed. However if it was me without a shower for a couple of weeks then I would manage without.

yrhengastan62 Sun 10-Nov-24 15:22:11

If they cleaned it thoroughly after them each time, probably ok.

nexus63 Sun 10-Nov-24 15:36:45

my neighbour who is also a friend used mine, brought all her own towels and shower/shampoo stuff, 10 mins later she was downstairs having a cuppa, we are in h/a flats, it can take a couple of weeks to fix things, another neighbour who i talk to asked and i said yes and your husband can use it too, just phone me first, brought all there own things and got dressed in my bedroom, it was not a problem and it is nice to be nice.

mrsgreenfingers56 Sun 10-Nov-24 15:44:31

Yes, of course but do live in a quiet small cul-de-sac and everyone very nice.

Not happened but I was having new bathroom in a few years ago and plumber did warn me no loo for the afternoon but of course I wanted to go and tried not to drink that much that day as well! 'Phoned neighbour and asked if OK to use her loo and she said I was welcome. Made do with a flannel wash for two days the shower was out and new one put in so didn't have to wait long.

MissAdventure Sun 10-Nov-24 15:48:03

I think I'd remove my soap and flannels before someone used my "facilities".

The thought of someone else's hair on my bar of soap is a bridge too far.

Mt61 Sun 10-Nov-24 16:13:14

I let my neighbour use our shower when theirs broke down day before their holiday. I know they they are spotless & brought their own towels to save on my washing.
They have since moved, I only know the new neighbours to say hello to, hopefully they won’t ever ask ☺️

Nannan2 Sun 10-Nov-24 16:36:47

Where are all these posh folk living with THREE showers?! I'd kill for an en-suite.😂

MissAdventure Sun 10-Nov-24 16:39:33

I'd kill for a shower.
I might find some kindly soul and try my luck to have a go in theirs. 🤗

JamesandJon33 Sun 10-Nov-24 17:04:04

You are welcome here*MisAdventure*. Just pm me andI will send directions🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

MissAdventure Sun 10-Nov-24 17:08:27

Ah, that's very nice of you. smile
I'd leave it all spic and span - wear a shower cap so no stray hairs.
Very kind indeed of you x

ileea Sun 10-Nov-24 17:14:33

I would let my neighbours use my washroom. Most of us have older houses in the neighbourhood so only have one washroom. If it was more than a couple weeks I would go across town to my parents. (5 minutes) not everyone has that option though.

JamesandJon33 Sun 10-Nov-24 17:17:13

One downstairs, two up. Take your pick*MisAdventure*. Shower cap, shower gel, even body cream, all supplied.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 10-Nov-24 17:35:51

I don't know my neighbours well, but I do know them al lby sight.

Should one of them come and ask if they could shower here because they either had no hot water, or their bathroom was out of commission I would be perfectly happy to let them use my shower, as long as it was at a time that suited me.

Indeed, a couple of years ago, I offered one set of neighbours the use of my toilet when both theirs were blocked - they have small children, so I visualized chaos. They didn't take me up on the offer, as they had a porta-potty.

I would offer the use of my kitchen too (with more reluctance than the bathroom, admittedly) if a neighbour was without means of cooking warm food.

crazyH Sun 10-Nov-24 17:44:07

I think most modern houses (post 70s) have a downstairs loo……upstairs, an ensuite and another toilet/shower room for guests and I’m certainly not posh. My house was built in the late 70s, I think .

Rugrats Sun 10-Nov-24 17:54:51

If you get on with your neighbour...certainly I would, without a doubt

MissAdventure Sun 10-Nov-24 18:20:42

JamesandJon33

One downstairs, two up. Take your pick*MisAdventure*. Shower cap, shower gel, even body cream, all supplied.

Spoiling me now.
You might not ever get rid of me. 🤭

heavenlyheath Sun 10-Nov-24 18:52:11

Definitely not. Oh the very though of it!!

Macadia Sun 10-Nov-24 18:55:15

Definitely! Do unto others. It's called Human Kindness.

lizzypopbottle Sun 10-Nov-24 20:30:25

When storm Arwen hit three years ago and some people were without power for several days, our local leisure centres welcomed people in to shower and also to keep warm. These days, leisure centres usually also house the library. They are not just for sports and you don't have to be a member. I often pop in just to go to the loo when I'm out and about. I've never been challenged about it. If I needed to shower, I'd do that too. I expect it would be a different story if it was a private gym.

TattyBluebell Sun 10-Nov-24 20:54:09

Of course I'd let them!
I don't really see the issue here!

ReadyMeals Sun 10-Nov-24 20:59:25

I wouldn't want to be without a bathroom - I think I'd book into a hotel till it was fixed. I'd let a neighbor use my bathroom if I got on ok with them. But I don't think I'd like to be dependent on someone else's. The idea of having to knock on someone's door while clutching my towel and washbag... just no.