Ginny, You explained it perfectly, and I am so sorry about how you feel.
I am no expert but I am in a similar situation.
My late husband didn’t want a funeral in any shape or form so that was hard for the rest of the family as we wanted to say goodbye. He made it clear he wanted no-one at the cremation. He adored all of us and just wanted to spare our feelings. In the end, the family, luckily small, sat on the bank above the crematorium and watched him being carried in, stayed until it was over, then came home. We said goodbye then as the coffin was carried into the Crematorium. We received his ashes afterwards and they were buried at a later date in his Grandmother’s grave. He adored her.
In 57 years of marriage, in my opinion, that was the only mistake he ever made, bless him.
