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Should I buy a birthday gift for my daughter's boyfriend

(48 Posts)
Pippins6133 Wed 29-Jan-25 17:12:36

My daughter's boyfriend will be 40 next month. They have been dating for about 9 months. I've only met him once. He seems nice. He appears to have 'everything'. Should I buy him a gift and, if so, does anyone have any ideas? Thank you.

DeeDe Thu 30-Jan-25 12:08:39

I would, bottle of his fav drink, or a gift voucher.

AuntieE Thu 30-Jan-25 12:28:20

This I too think is a question for your daughter, rather than for us, to answer.

You do not say they have invited you to a party or a meal, where obviously you would be taking a gift.

If your daughter's boyfriend is anything like my late husband, he will have completely forgotten he has a birthday coming up, and probably does not want a fuss made of it.

On the other hand is he is a "party animal" he might be offended if you do nothing.

If he wasn't your daughter's boyfriend a card would be sufficient, but even although you have only met him once, he is important enough to your daughter for you to have met him, so ask her what she thinks you should do.

It is nice to hear someone who is actually prepared to welcome a daughter's boyfriend!

Pippa22 Thu 30-Jan-25 12:47:03

So many of you have suggested buying a bottle of something for the boyfriend’s birthday. I really wouldn’t as there is so much choice and you could get it wrong but also you don’t know his relationship with alcohol. I would never buy anyone alcohol unless they were close friends and I was going to theirs for dinner.
Even though your daughter and boyfriend live a distance from you I think it’s a bit odd that you have only met once. Have you met your daughter more often ?
The idea of a voucher for a meal for them both at a restaurant close to where they live. You can easily search online to find somewhere with a good review.

JudyBloom Thu 30-Jan-25 12:53:03

I would probably give a card and maybe a small token gift like a bottle of something as many have mentioned, but nothing too personal. It depends also how much he wants to celebrate his birthday and if you would be asked to celebrate with him.

Frenchgalinspain Thu 30-Jan-25 12:57:12

teachkate

I think I’d buy a voucher for a restaurant meal for both your daughter & new boyfriend - so they can celebrate his birthday together curtesy of you!

A lunch for both your daughter and her beau is a lovely idea.

Cateq Thu 30-Jan-25 13:29:29

I always gave gifts to my AC’s boyfriend/girlfriend on their birthdays although I gave my DD last partner grudgingly as I never felt he was right for her, but didn’t want to cause an argument as she would’ve noticed if I gave my DS’s partners a gift and not him.

maddyone Thu 30-Jan-25 13:33:39

Rainbow1235

I would buy a card and a bottle of wine in a nice gift bag after all 40 is a big birthday xx

I would probably do this. I wouldn’t buy champagne for someone I barely know. A bottle of red wine seems appropriate.

Cabbie21 Thu 30-Jan-25 13:39:35

Similar question: it’s my granddaughter’s boyfriend’s 18th birthday soon. I don’t want to give him a bottle. I’ll ask my granddaughter. ( He’s a really nice lad.)

pandapatch Thu 30-Jan-25 16:03:37

I like the idea of a voucher for a meal for him and your daughter (unless you are seeing him then a bottle of his favourite drink)

maddyone Thu 30-Jan-25 16:18:21

Cabbie, it sounds as though you know your granddaughter’s boyfriend rather better than the OP knows her daughter’s boyfriend, so maybe as he’s only eighteen you could give a voucher to his favourite shop, or a small cash gift.

Jaxjacky Thu 30-Jan-25 16:44:26

A voucher for a meal these days can be quite pricey for someone you’ve only met once.

BlueBelle Thu 30-Jan-25 16:53:51

I give my grandaughters / grandsons boy /girlfriend some chocolates for birthdays /Christmases plus card

Mojack26 Thu 30-Jan-25 23:01:06

Yes a bottle of whatever drink he likes or a gift card for a shop he likes £20/30 no more

NotSpaghetti Fri 31-Jan-25 00:26:39

Yes, definitely - but not "overboard"
Does he game at all? If so a "steam" voucher is a handy gift. Or something relatively impersonal such as gloves or something (delicious) to eat.
My daughter's "new" boyfriend loved cheese so we bought a box of British Cheese online and had it delivered to our daughter.

I'm another who says "no alcohol until you know".

vickymeldrew Fri 31-Jan-25 04:53:18

I don’t think you should buy him a present. As its a special birthday then a card would be perfect. You’ve only met him once. He has been with your daughter only nine months.
Buying presents signifies a closer attachment.

Matrixoneb Fri 31-Jan-25 05:40:03

If you’re not sure whether to get him a gift, a nice card with a thoughtful message is always a safe bet. If you do want to get something, keep it simple—maybe a good bottle of wine, a fancy coffee blend if he’s into that, or a small but practical gadget. Since it sounds like he’s the type who already has everything, something more personal like a digital frame from www.nixplay.com/ could be a nice way to display memories without adding clutter.

LaCrepescule Fri 31-Jan-25 07:17:11

You’ve only met him once and they’ve been together less than a year. Definitely not, it would be cringe. I buy my daughter’s boyfriend presents but he virtually lived in our house until they got their own place and they’ve been together for 3 years.

Pippins6133 Sun 02-Feb-25 21:37:43

Thanks for all your suggestions. Pippa22 I see my daughter more often, usually mid-week as she gets time off then. I'm waiting (and waiting) for her to get back to me with her suggestions.

Skydancer Sun 02-Feb-25 23:13:40

Definitely get him something otherwise it looks as if you’re not interested or don’t approve.

Hithere Mon 03-Feb-25 15:41:52

Why would he need to know her girlfriend's mother is interested and/or and she approves?

He is 40 years old!

Chardy Mon 03-Feb-25 16:55:23

I wouldn't buy someone I didn't know well alcohol. If I'd no real concept of their past or their family, alcohol is a no-no for me.

pascal30 Mon 03-Feb-25 17:22:14

I'd wait to see what your daughter thinks..