I’ve just read One in 14 children (or rather their parents) are currently claiming DLA for ADHD or autism.

FGT where do you get the statistic for one in 14 children? I’ve looked and looked and the highest rate I can find is one in 16 children getting DLA for all kinds of disability. ( see the resolution foundation) . Is it 1/14 of children with ADHD and or autism or a particular age group such as 15 year olds still needing overnight care ( as many with the more severe end of these conditions do?
I think it unlikely there are many parents if any who falsely claims in order to get money. DLA may however be very welcome to families where parents cannot work due to the needs of their disabled children.
There are charities who help with the filling in of forms to ensure wording is accurate. This is because most parents tend to minimise when talking about the difficulties at home- it’s their normal- after all of course they get up in the night to change a disabled child’s bed or run to an alarm, or answer cries of distress- or sort out medications even though their child is now a teenager - they have after all always had to do this- it’s normal for them and somethings are private so difficult to admit. Charities who help parents fill in forms will ask the correct questions?

So many heartbreaking tales on here.
Thanks to you all for contributing to a lively and stimulating discussion. I’ve learned a lot.

And as (I think) Iam said up thread, ND now accounts for 7% of the population of the UK. That’s some percentage and some need help, others it seems, not so much.

Frogs, the assessment of our 6 year old led to his grandfather identifying his own neuro diversity and significantly of his own son.

I’ve just had a ridiculous thought after catching up with this discussion.
I remember the first time hearing from the tv news that smoking could cause lung cancer. I was about 11years old. Both my parents, 4 grandparents, every aunt and uncle, our neighbours were all smokers. I remember going out of the living room to avoid the rug and the thought of car journeys yuk.
My parents quoted ‘experts’ who challenged the evidence. They eventually did stop smoking. I don’t know any smokers in my family or friends now.
My point is of course, that there is always resistance to ‘experts’. Eventually, it will be obvious that the psychiatrists, psychologists, senco’s and family members/adults newly diagnosed were right

Caleo

Maybe I should have addressed my last post to Frogs.

Thank you Caleo for taking the time to respond to my posting.
The YouTube video may go a way towards helping you understand little about autism but as one of the people said in the video ‘it’s complicated’.

I’ve been living autism within my family for over 40 years and wouldn’t claim to know everything - I’m still learning new things every day.
When my son was diagnosed it made my husband realise that to a lesser extent he’s on the spectrum too as was his mother. It made him realise why he’d struggled with certain things all his life.
Three of my grandchildren have been on the list for diagnosis for over 2 years, I don’t think it’s any easier today to get a diagnosis than it was - my DILs tell me schools no longer accept private assessments.

You compared Depression to unhappiness, maybe educate yourself instead of instead having such incorrect views.

"It's simply that I and many others don't rightly know what neurodivergence is,or how to recognise it."

Yet there's so many untruth and inaccurate opinions on this thread by those exact people.

Caleo two members of my family are like Eric . It is OK but shows a lack of social intelligence and the inability to “read” people. Others may be totally bored and also want to speak but the autistic person may not recognise this. It is the inability to see things from another’s viewpoint which is quite common in autism but not universally so.

Music Girl, concerning "Oppositional Defiance Disorder ODD" this reminds me of a regular contributor to another participatory website I go to. This man occasionally has positive ideas but most of his posts are shouting objections to what everybody else has said.

On the other hand Donald Trump may well accuse others of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Some teachers , politicians, and preachers need to be defied!

Maybe I should have addressed my last post to Frogs.

Cossy, it's not that some people maybe such as myself has "an attitude" of disapproval . It's simply that I and many others don't rightly know what neurodivergence is,or how to recognise it.

Yesterday my son and I discussed this conversation at Gransnet. My son mentioned a man , Eric,whom we both know. To me Eric seems normal with nothing odd in his behaviour or talk . To my son, Eric is slightly autistic as Eric talks mostly about something that interests him .I really cannot see anything odd about doing so. Does that mean I too am autistic?

I do understand it's generally good that neurodivergence has been medicalised as unhappy children can now know that they are not bad or naughty.

Everything you posted LUMINANCE was spot on. My DGD has ADA and is waiting for an Autism diagnosis. She showed symptoms from an early age which we thought was ‘just her way’. She hated loud noise, crowds, anything that wasn’t in her normal routine. She is now 15 and being taught at home because she could not cope with school. She is regarded as high functioning and to strangers she is fine but to see her have a complete shut down is distressing for her and us as a family. My daughter has fought tooth and nail to have her diagnosed which is gruelling in itself. She does get DLA which helps pay for her online schooling.
My DGD is a loving and caring person and my heart breaks for her what future she has to look forward to. She is so unworldly that I don’t think she could cope with a working environment yet she excels in her school work.

Any update on which demographic is in favour of so called benefit scroungers please?

Frogs (((hugs)))

My youngest sibling has three children (aged 8 - 15) all neurodiverse, including ADHD, ASD and autism, they all have at least two diagnoses.

Before Christmas we met up in Covent Garden for drinks and dinner, all three children behaved exemplary, the only difficulty as such was food, as they have issues with colour, texture and taste.

Bad behaviour does not go hand in hand with neurodivergence.

Frogs

I find it really sad that some people still hold on to this attitude towards neurodiversity. As others have said not all children and adults on the spectrum are hyperactive/the clowns of the class or ‘naughty’. My son now aged 45 was diagnosed with Asperger when he was 15 after he threatened to take his own life. He was never a naughty child at school - the quiet one at the back of the class - although he had meltdowns at home because of the pressure of being badly bullied by class mates because he was ‘odd’ and bullied by teachers because they thought he was ‘highly intelligent’ but wasn’t trying.
It was too late for school and he left with no GCSEs but the diagnosis made all the difference to getting help as an adult - I thought he’d never be able to hold a job down because he learnt in a different way. People who haven’t experienced this problem close at hand have no idea.
I love this short YouTube video for anyone interested in looking at it.
youtu.be/d69tTXOvRq4?si=srSL1bBcYGE9yqUx

Interesting the child who causes the most issues and is the naughtiest child by far, has clearly nothing wrong with him, he has very “weak” parenting and chooses when to behave!

I find it really sad that some people still hold on to this attitude towards neurodiversity. As others have said not all children and adults on the spectrum are hyperactive/the clowns of the class or ‘naughty’. My son now aged 45 was diagnosed with Asperger when he was 15 after he threatened to take his own life. He was never a naughty child at school - the quiet one at the back of the class - although he had meltdowns at home because of the pressure of being badly bullied by class mates because he was ‘odd’ and bullied by teachers because they thought he was ‘highly intelligent’ but wasn’t trying.
It was too late for school and he left with no GCSEs but the diagnosis made all the difference to getting help as an adult - I thought he’d never be able to hold a job down because he learnt in a different way. People who haven’t experienced this problem close at hand have no idea.
I love this short YouTube video for anyone interested in looking at it.
youtu.be/d69tTXOvRq4?si=srSL1bBcYGE9yqUx

pinkwoollyjumper

DD has been advised by DGD (7) teachers to get her assessed for ADHD/ASD. She has had various problems/issues since she was about 3 and in nursery. There is no likelihood of any benefits at all and parents have resisted having her assessed up to now as didn't want her 'labelled' but school are pushing it as concerned she may not cope at secondary. The school (state primary) have actually been pretty amazing so far, so if they think she needs assessment then I am sure they are right.

Another genuine example of a child with loving parents and a good school. I understand the reluctance to ‘label’ and sensitive, informed discussions with the SENCO at primary will hopefully help them see how necessary it is to diagnose.

It’s my understanding adhd is rarely assessed before age 7. This little girl has been identified from age 3 as needing support in school. The staff at school will know her well and imo are right to think longer term into high school

We have a family member aged 6 where school are already putting extra support in place

Aren’t our primary schools beacons in so many ways

ViceVersa

I worked for a while in a childcare setting for children with ASN and I can assure you that the families we supported came from all kind of backgrounds, from some who were very comfortably off to many who were struggling to get by on a day-to-day basis.

👏👏👏

M0nica

How many times do I have to say that ADHD and children who are uncontrollable in the classroom are not synonymouse with bad behaviour.

neither DGS DS or myself have ever caused any problems of discipline to a teacher, w may wriggle a lot, we may lose concentration, but none of us has ever, even caused a teacher a moments concern over behaviour.

Don’t bother! There are those that have “decided” that their interpretation of ADHD is correct. Don’t knock your head against a brick wall!

Disabilities and/or neurodivergence’s have no respect for wealth or family situations.

An organised family home will cope better than a disorganised family home, irrespective of income.

One of the most disorganised households I know are extremely rich, but they get by at home by winging it in a daily basis.

Money may be a cushion, or a means of getting a quicker diagnosis, but unless parents are prepared to pay for private education until 18, the privileges of wealth end when entering the state education system.

I worked for a while in a childcare setting for children with ASN and I can assure you that the families we supported came from all kind of backgrounds, from some who were very comfortably off to many who were struggling to get by on a day-to-day basis.

Musicgirl
nearly all these children seem to come from middle class homes
I have reasons to visit the school where my friends son is a pupil. I do see what your saying, but, having been in several settings where the parents and children were all interacting together ( graduation day and the party after)
Yes, there are far more parents there who are obviously on what you would describe as comfortable than there are of parents on a much lower income.
But I can assure you that every child there couldn’t cope in the outside world 😥
My own take on this is that these parents know who what to search for/ who to talk to/.
It took me and my daughter about a year of reading searches to find out what was happening to my grandson because 13 years ago it was hardly known about in the uk.

'How many times do I have to say that ADHD and children who are uncontrollable in the classroom are not synonymouse with bad behaviour.'

Most people unless they have experienced ADHD/Autism etc already have an idea in their head of what they are like and unfortunately 'naughty' or have 'personality quirks' are what they think it is.
It's uneducated opinions that's spewed out over and over again which is why it's so important that people advocate for these children and adults and it's time to end the stigma and notice that they are hidden disabilities.

Boz

I see Nadine Dorries has declared herself a sufferer of ADHD (diagnosed by her daughter). Not doubt looking for an excuse for her febrile attachment to Boris Johnson.

So. Maybe she is, although cannot find any evidence of this.
Rather a mean post, if she is.