Moving to the coast

Grammaretto

I have a friend who has inherited his parents' retirement flat on the South Coast. He and his extended family use it as a holiday flat but he definitely wouldn't want to be there all the time.
It's great as a base for exploring the area but the town itself is God's waiting room most of the year.

Sounds like where I live! 🤣🤣

North Devon in the winter is bleak. Also the best walks are quite strenuous coastal walks . The places you mention are not really towns. It is absolutely heaving on the summer - think gridlocked roads to get to the beaches . Health care is not great - nothing like it is where I live . I know as my sister in law is a GP living there over 40 years . 4 months wait for a hip here where live - a lot longer there ! Barnstaple is a nice place with all the things you would like and has railway. Nice flattish walks and close to coast . However I would stay out and have long holidays at different sea sides around Britain - with the cost of moving you could afford it easily ! I moved for different reasons and regret a lot but I am nearer my family so that is the one positive . Don’t move away from family and friends now . If you really want to have a very good look at other possible areas and small market towns - don’t be tempted by villages they’ll be dead in winter and full of holiday cottages . You really do not want to be moving again. I found our move extremely stressful (as did DH) and neither of us are going anywhere else ! We moved at 65 and 67.

Lola124 - I adore the west country. I would love to live there myself! However my children live several hours drive from there. I know that if I became more frail, they would have a horrible journey there and back to visit me - or to help me, if I needed them. It would put a lot of extra strain on the lives of my hard-working children and grandchildren, trying to maintain physical contact with me.

I had two separate pairs of friends who moved to the west country when they were around 60. They very much enjoyed their lives there, until they were very old and frail. From the time they moved there, I know that their families (once the novelty of visiting such a pretty part of the country to see them wore off) resented that extra long journey they had in order to see the parents.

With both of these separate friends, there were enormous problems in their lives and in their children's lives, once they were widowed. Then later, more problems once they inevitably became quite frail - as they were so far from their adult children and grandchildren.

One of those widowed people had to move again to be nearer to one of her children. This son had insisted on it. But the widowed person knew no-one in her son's area, and had become too old and frail by then to get out and socialise anymore. Their son was always very busy, and while close by - was able to make the briefest of visits to the lone parent. As the old person was now a long way from old friends (like me) and new friends they had made in the west country - they became very isolated. (It's no fun getting old!!!)

Lola - It wouldn't be difficult to make friends once you decided to go to Devon. Provided you joined local social groups set up for the retired, and took an interest in the history of your new area, and learned your way all around it! You would then feel like a local!

A new lady (an active widow of 82) from another part of the country moved near me four years ago. She has arrived where I live to be nearer to her married daughter. She knew no-one else here. Her adult children are very busy people, so she joined several local groups. She is a kind, cheerful and friendly person, and has made many new friends since she has been here. We have all got to know her well, and have become very fond of her. So you are never too old to make new friends. If she became frail or housebound in the future - she has now made enough good friends in her new area to keep in touch with her and help her, plus she is also near her family.

Moving, and settling happily in a new area - is about putting yourselves out there with a cheerful and positive attitude, and showing your new neighbours that you very much appreciate them, and appreciate living in their lovely area. Then they will warm to you.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

4 months wait for a hip here where live - a lot longer there

marymary62 ?
Surely you cannot live in the UK? The wait is years here and thst is not N Devon. .

My advice is don’t do it. So many older people move in later life, leaving behind not only family and friends but also familiar support networks. Social Care agencies, hospitals and GP practices have to take on increasing numbers of frail older people as they deteriorate in health, consequently services are stretched even further, waiting lists are longer. Unless you can afford to fund yourselves well into the future.

my parents moved closer to the sea but rarely walked along the prom as they didn’t like being blown about, afraid they may be blown over

Blow-ins? Is that tourists,2nd home owners?

I'd also say don't do it.
We've had a holiday home by the coast since the mid 1980's and have spent a lot of time there. We have friends there and had considered living there when we retired. However as time passed we realised that we'd really not enjoy being so far from our family and we found it really dull in the winter.
Our home is in a very large village with plenty of permanent residents, and when we first bought it there were two grocers shops, five pubs most of which served excellent food, a post office, a bakery, a couple of restaurants, a dairy, a bank, a butcher and a pharmacy. Most of the pubs have closed and none of them do good food any longer. The only real plus point is a small local supermarket, a large newsagent selling general goods, a good chemist and a mobile Post Office, though how often that is open is hard to tell.
Theoretically it is on good transport links but in practice this stops in the early evening and isn't always regular, particularly at weekends. At the moment we drive but as time goes by we'd probably stop and it would be a long bus ride to a decent supermarket in either direction.
There is no local hospital, no dentist in the village and only one GP - we once lived there between houses and found it impossible to get any sort of GP appointment.
There is very little local employment, only a primary school locally, and no good restaurants. There is one cinema within local driving distance, but the nearest city with a theatre or good clothes shops is getting on for an hour away.
One of our neighbours who moved there about 15 years ago has told me she really regrets leaving her city home and would give anything to go back "home".

Personally I think you need to have or it would be helpful if you had a really honest conversation with your self which you may have already done to decide what is most important to you upon retirement what makes you happy do you get bored with certain things you could do a pro and con list separately both of you and get together and see what matches up and what doesn’t. I believe in these kinds of exercises because it gives us the wherewithal to be really honest and then compare. It’s a thought anyway. Also if you can afford it I truly do love the idea of an adventure and you are young enough to have one or two😊

My hubby and I moved to France when I was 60, and I'm now 71. We knew nobody, but soon created our own set of friends out here. It doesn't matter where you move to at our age - you either want the 'adventure' or you don't. I think you're overthinking it - Devon is a lot more familiar than if you did what we did, and I love it there. We always go to Lyme, Seaton and Sidmouth, and all have great facilities close by. Don't worry - go for it!!

I wonder if it's worth thinking about choosing somewhere on the coast in N Devon where you can take long holidays, perhaps for up to a month each summer, rather than permanently moving there. That way, you wouldn't be there for the colder months but you'd have the benefit of staying in a familiar place each year, where you'd get to know the area and could hopefully make some friends.
In my experience, it's harder to make close friends later in life, the kind you can rely on. It takes time to get to know people properly through shared experiences and it isn't always easy if you develop health issues and can't get out as much.

I’m going to go against the grain here and say please think twice. We moved to Devon (Elburton village) 6 years ago. We bought a beautiful house and at that time there were flights for around £27 from Gatwick to Newquay which suddenly stopped within 6months of us moving so it meant we either did a 5 hour drive back to East Sussex or 2/3 trains, which seemed to put friends and relatives off of driving to us. I do mixed media crafts and thought it would be great for that! It wasn’t, it was awful, I couldn’t find one club for paper crafts only knitting and crotchet, I have never met such unfriendly people in my life and was told outright a couple of times that people from Devon don’t like outsiders to live in Devon so it’s getting as bad as Cornwall. The builders we hired as soon as they knew we were from East Sussex ripped us off moneywise. Even my Son & DDIL didn’t vidit very often as 5 hours journey when working was too long for them most of the times. I have never lived in such an unfriendly place which was totally unexpected. There is only one hospital in Devon and it’s not easy to get to and not very good in my opinion. We were only there 18 months and ended up selling up and moving back, unfortunately we lost a lot of money due to being ripped off for building work plus moving back so quickly (during COVID as well) we couldn’t afford to move back to our home city so are now in West Sussex. Also as soon as moving there my husband started changing. It turned out he’s developed dementia and as my Son said I needed to come back to Sussex so they could help care for him too. I loved our house in Devon but I’d never felt so lonely. At least now where we live we have a good local Doctors. 3 hospitals we come under. Local buses and village shops plus help for hubby who now cannot drive so that’s now left to me. The thought at the time of possibly ending up alone down there filled me with dread. I realised when we moved back to Sussex I was exhausted with dealing with caring and EOL with parents and we should of just gone on an extended holiday NOT move, but hindsight eh! Anyway I sincerely hope you don’t get carried away with the ‘dream’ of a lovely life in Devon and really look deep into the reality of living in Devon. Have you looked at Dorset maybe?

We also live in West Sussex, which has some beautiful beaches (West Wittering, Bracklesham, Rustington/Littlehampton, Felpham) and it is a great “happy medium”. But it’s busy - unless you’re in one of the remote villages near Chichester on the Sussex/Hampshire border. We moved to Aldwick on the coast and didn’t take into account the racket the seagulls make!! We moved after eleven years back into deeper West Sussex but obviously the coast is only half an hour away. Our large village is on the mainline to Gatwick and London Victoria, with Chichester the other way. We have all the amenities you could want on our doorstep but are semi/demi rural. When we were living in Aldwick, it was a ten minute walk to the Beach but we still didn’t get a chance to visit it more than about six times a year, due to still working….!!

I live on the coast and a point people don’t think of is the weather. Much more wind and often a cold sea fog. My brother lives five miles inland and can use his garden much more often.

Well some very good points made on here re moving to coast. Yes as we age and
Families are busy with work and life may not visit much. Then as we age maybe we won’t feel like travelling on the motorway back. Yes need to be near hospitals and large supermarkets. I’m going to list a lot of good points some of u have made. Very helpful advice thank u everyone who replied

I live in North Derbyshire and yes I could have had a new hip in 4 months from seeing the consultant . Referred via GP to Physio - 2 months - referred by Physio to Consultant at Private Hosp contracted to do NHS hips - 2 months - saw consultant and his lost was only 3-4 months long . Wherever you live insist on your right to chose and go NHS at a private hospital .

I'd just love to live near my daughter, and that she'd like it too

I would always prioritise healthcare provision above all else when deciding where to move in later life.

It's all very well to say you want countryside/coastal areas but consider how far you would have to travel for some specialist healthcare services, what the roads are like (especially during the tourist season) and how frequently you may need to these services.

I would apply the same principles about healthcare provision as I would if I wanted to move to a catchment area of a good school for my children.

I live in North Devon near the sea and you are quite correct it is very beautiful however if you want to take advantage of medical and dental facilities please think hard before you decide to move to this area. New people moving to our area will find it almost impossible to get dental treatment without paying for private treatment and there are very long waits for appointments at surgeries. Most people here don’t get face to face appointments with GP’s - you have to ring on a daily basis to ask for a duty GP or Practise nurse to ring you and diagnose your treatment by telephone - prescriptions are then sent to the pharmacy for you to pick up. Anyone needing a Consultant appointment has to wait for at least 6 months initially and follow up appointments can take another 6 months. Many operations take place at Exeter or
Plymouth Derriford hospital and after surgery you can be sent to the “Duty” Consultant rather than the surgeon who performed your operation. Fortunate people living in our area are choosing to pay to be treated privately but the rest of us just have to wait.
Schools are crowded and again if you can afford to pay for a private school your child is very fortunate.
The whole of North Devon looks like one big building site as much of our countryside is being ripped up to build houses to accommodate the people who are being encouraged to flock to our countryside in droves to find a better life.
Sorry to be so gloomy but we are all feeling like third world residents these days and we were born here. Look up for yourselves to see how few Hospitals, Schools and Dentists we have in the whole of Devon and Cornwall.

My sister lives in Sidbury. She bought a cottage in the village about five years after her husband died and she wanted to downsize. They’d moved there from Hampshire some 12 years before. It is very friendly, has a good bus service, a great pub, lovely church, beautiful countryside, village shop (butchers, grocers, bakers, newsagent all in one!) She is about an hour away from one of her sons, and a few hours from the rest of the family. However, she has a group of friends who all support one another and loves living there.

Mojack26

Blow-ins? Is that tourists,2nd home owners?

My understanding is that blow-ins are those who move usually from a big city to a small country or coastal town. You are considered a blow-in if you were not born and reared there. Tourists and 2nd home owners are grockles.
I'm not in North Devon, but my Devon coastal town has a hospital, a surgery with 12 GPs, a swimming pool, library, Waitrose, Lidl, frequent buses and 3 vet practices.
It's one of the most expensive Devon postcodes. I'm a sort of blow-in having lived in London and abroad, but I'm also pretty much a local because my children grew up and went to school in Devon and live here too.

For the OP, Barnstaple and Bideford are both OK, the former has a good train link to Exeter (that or perhaps Exmouth would be my preferred Devon locations).

For several commenters, coastal locations do NOT have to come into the "desolate in winter" cliche. Much of the south coast is fine outside of the tourist season, and places like Portsmouth, Soton, Bournemouth, Poole, Exeter, Cardiff etc certainly have plenty of life and activities, so too Ipswich & Norwich (almost the coast!). If you can afford the Kent coast, then short trips to France and Belgium come into play, if that would help keep you occupied?!

I live 100m from the sea. Walking the prom is lovely in winter. Living near the sea is lovely in winter

Where do you live Chardy? Give a nearby town so not identifying.
Winter walks are wonderful. Wild seas and bracing winds. I spent my childhood near Margate. Left home at 18 and do miss the seaside.

But the downside to coastal living can be a winter of grey, wet or very very windy, cold weather. So choose your coast with care. I would recommend spending a month during the winter in whichever area you are considering.
DD1 lives in Angleseyand the wind there can be constant, ferocious and very tiring.

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Who said it rains all the time in North Devon?
24th April , sunshine and blue skies, 18°C here now. 😎
Hartland in the vale, then Instow looking across to Appledore.
I have to say, it's not as buzzing up here as back in East Devon.