good neighbours right or wrong

I could tell you about the conditions I saw in long term hospitals for those with learning disabilities, they were horrendous.

Would you want neighbours bathing you?
I think I would not.

Sixty years ago, my widowed grandmother lived in a rather ugly concrete, warden-assisted tiny council flat with a communal lounge, in S London. I never did understand why a purpose-built pensioner facility would have steep concrete steps to the only entrance. They then moved her to a lovely new complex with gardens, and she had doors out into those gardens.

My sisters and I were all born in hospital in 1950s. My perception of a local unqualified midwife pre-dates NHS. My own children were both delivered by (qualified) midwives in 1980s. I never saw a doctor with either until just before discharge. Early 1980s, we stayed in maternity unit for ten days like my mum had with us, late 1980s, we were out the next day

No thanks I don’t think the ‘good old days’ were good old days
Do you really suggest a neighbour would deliver babies and bed bath old people ???
I m 80 and it never happened in my neck of the woods best we got was the neighbour getting in your washing in if it started raining while you were out or taking in a parcel for you certainly never lived where the sort of things you’re describing happened creaking

Carers like every other group of workers are of mixed ability and motivation. Sadly few if any qualifications or background experience needed, wages low.

My aunt was born in the 1890s and was a woman of the type you describe. She would help at 'laying outs' and at births and 'lying ins'. When a woman went into hospital my aunt and a group of women like her would cook, wash, clean and keep house for her husband and children and then look after the woman when she returned home. She took in evacuees during the war and was known as Auntie by most people in our town.

She never had children of her own and her husband died just after the second world war. When he died she moved in with her brother and kept house for him. She always worked part time in pubs and shops and despite living a life of very hard work and not much money she seemed utterly content and was much loved. She made Christmas and special occasions fun and never seemed to get old - always young and joyful in her outlook. She grew her own veg and did her own decorating (going up and down a ladder!) until she was in her 80s.

I often wonder what she'd make of the modern world and indeed, what today's young people would make of her.

There is nothing wrong with people doing a job for the money, as long a it is done properly, and carers certainly do not receive much of a salary.
In the 'good old days' most of the family caring was done by wives and unmarried daughters, for years and years, unpaid and frequently un-thanked. I knew -two.- three women who spent most of their married lives with both sets of in-laws living with them.

My grandma was one of these women you describe. She told me a story about laying someone out and when she removed his shoe his toe fell off! She also kept her shroud in a drawer and had no qualms about telling me what it was for.
She was the unofficial village midwife, nurse etc as you say.
By the time the NHS came along she had been re-housed out of the village and was probably very glad people were being treated by professionals, especially the poor ones she helped because they couldn't afford anything else.
She was a real role model and a compassionate human being but life improved for everyone with the NHS and we need to think carefully about what would happen to people if we lost it...

Agree that the OP seems to be describing life of a century ago or more.
Blame Mrs Thatcher who thought that social care was best delivered by for-profit agencies, and successive governments who have prioritised everything over social care.

I suppose social care wasn't part of the NHS originally - so maybe that's why it's never been properly funded.

The number of deaths in childbirth and infant mortality dropped dramatically once women were cared for by qualified staff.

One of my aunts, a clever intelligent women wa taken out of school at 14 in order to stay at home and help her mother and her growing (11 children in total) family. Another was told she was to stay sngle and stay at home to look after her parents in old age. She had no sight in one eye, and was told that because of that no one would want to marry her.

Many old people lived without this wonderful support group and died of cold and hunger and malnutrition because they could not look after themselves and their dishevelled state when they left the house led to them being laughed at and cat called and called witches and crones.

All this would also be happening in communities where some groups did look after each other.

Care companies can offer visas so can attract people who just want to come to UK. They aren't necessarily interested in caring as a job.

There are many people born in the UK who are not interested in caring as a job. Aceline.
From what I read and see it's poorly paid, poorly resourced and the carers seem not to be paid for the time spent between "clients" so aremout of pocket.
In a better world, carers would receive good training and it would be seen as a career with decent pay. I think part of a nurse or doctor training should be spent caring in the community for 6 months. If only.
My neighbours work and could hardly care for me if required. But I enjoyed reading about the auntieeho did everything for everyone. She would have made an excellent matron.

I remember when my uncle died suddenly at home in the sixties, one of the neighbours had ‘laid him out’ in the bedroom while they waited for his body to be taken for post mortem. She had put a tea towel around his head to hold his jaw closed and two pennies on his eyes. I was horrified. Auntie had asked her to do it, saying that this lady used to be the ‘handy wife’, and apparently attended to births and deaths before ( and sometimes even after for some of the older neighbours) the NHS.

My grandma was the local person who used to "lay people out". She used to wash and dress the body, comb their hair, etc., and put pennies on the eyelids. She used to have the deceased in her front room. I was too young to remember, thankfully, but my brother (12 years older) remembers.

HowVeryDareYou2

My grandma was the local person who used to "lay people out". She used to wash and dress the body, comb their hair, etc., and put pennies on the eyelids. She used to have the deceased in her front room. I was too young to remember, thankfully, but my brother (12 years older) remembers.

Gawd, that sounds horrific!

My neighbour has been a carer for years; she recently retired, and said work had become impossible. She was not paid for her journey time travelling between the people she cared for, and was often asked to drive out of her way - in her own time - to pick up other carers who didn't have transport on that day. Such a valuable job, and yet so underpaid and unappreciated.

I had a call from an occupational therapist the other week. I am disabled . I did tell her I had an occupational therapist come to see me last year and after seeing all my adaptions I had paid to my bungalow gave me 2 things I didn't realise I needed. She asked me to lie on the bed to see how I got up. Which was always with a struggle so she gave me and fitted a bed bar. It wasn't until I had it I realised I struggled to get in . I would be lost without it. Plus she gave me a compression cushion. I have water retention in my legs but can't have water tablets as I have loe sodium levels. It's great it keeps my legs level and elevated .

They have no record of the occupational therapists visit so asked if how often I showered explained only once a week as I find it exhausting getting dry and since having jaundice in 2017 have to use cream on any but that gets wet. She said someone could come in everyday to shower me . I said no I have things called flannels and keep clean. I have a shower chair bolted to my wall that folds up with folding arm rests and from legs cost £300 but I am safe . Plus had large handles on inside and outside of my shower rectangle. She asked me about going to the loo so told her had ease toilet looks like a normal loo just taller and have a handrail on the wall at an angle . Plus put my feet on a toddler step after lot of UTIs and kidney beans nurse told me to always make sure my knees and hips are inline that way you empty your bladder and bowel completely.
Next she offered me a button to go round my neck . I always have my phone on me . So again a no . I know she was being kind and trying to help me but being disabled doesn't mean incapable. But thanks to my husband who adapted our home for me I knew what I needed in my bungalow and garden to make it safe.

Unfortunately people who do need help slip through the cracks and don't get it. Plus it really is a postcode lottery. I know how much the healthcare I get here is excellent only took me a move of over 100+ miles to get the help medically I needed for years and found out what my disability is called and found out I was also born with a hole in the side of my heart.

If you need help either get in touch with occupational therapy or / and falls unit attached to your council or get in touch with a charity either Age UK or if you know your condition or that of a relative the charity that is for it .

the social care system needs to evolve not devolve
this thread has reminded me of a book called Grace says it loud , about someone whose own sister was placed in an institution
they have never been a good idea and the fact they still exist and incarcerate such vulnerable people is a modern day travesty
care from neighbours? no thanks! people need dignity. It is one of the most important things

Care homes are not 'institutions'! Nobody is 'incarcerated'. Go and visit some.

Maybe do a bit of research Aveline. here is a brief overview by mencap

I wasn't talking about care homes (my daughter lives in one by the way

This is actually why funding is a problem. People think 'social care' means older people in a temporary situation nearing the end of life. It completely ignores the millions of people who need long term care because of a long term disability or illness.

another article

another

they aren't cheap options either. They are run by private entities making profit out of the 'assets' ie patients

It is frightening how invisible this is if the wider public do not know what is happening

BlueBelle

No thanks I don’t think the ‘good old days’ were good old days
Do you really suggest a neighbour would deliver babies and bed bath old people ???
I m 80 and it never happened in my neck of the woods best we got was the neighbour getting in your washing in if it started raining while you were out or taking in a parcel for you certainly never lived where the sort of things you’re describing happened creaking

My father's sister was
The lady who delivered babies
so, yes, BlueBelle it was common practice. As were operations on the kitchen table. My maternal uncle had his appendix removed by the GP in these circumstances.