Stay at Home Mums

I am 78 next birthday and an only child.
My Mum stayed at home with me because in the 1950's that is what the vast majority of Mums did. My Dad was a bus driver, so money was always fairly tight but that generation was satisfied with the basics in life. WW2 was still fresh in peoples' minds and many things were still rationed. There were no labour saving gadgets like hoovers, microwaves, fridges, freezers, dishwashers, tumble dryers and washing machines. No ready meals, fast food and takeaways. Everything cooked from scratch. Housework was a hard slog with your sleeves rolled up every day. They were recycling Queens, much better than today's Mums. They darned socks, turned sheets sides to middle, unpicked and turned collars and cuffs on shirts. Holidays were rare and few families had a car, TV or a telephone and no social media. Thank God for that. I still can recall those early years at home with my Mum.
A very different world to today's Mum.
Time is the most precious commodity and when it is spent with your children it is never wasted. Her children will flourish having their Mum's attention during those short but informative years. Good luck to her, I say.

It is a matter of personal choice, when financial restrictions do not make it impossible.

I would also question this whole seemingly unquestioned belief that everyone should be pursuing a career and determined to get to the top etc etc. and that everything else should be subservient to the Great God Career. There are other things in life and the newspapers are full of stories of people who at sometime decided that the Great God Career was not their God and stepped away to do other things. Not just burntout bankers starting eco enterprises with stashed £millions, but teachers becoming supermarket workers and nurses becoming carers. A friend, who had a science degree and taught in a secondary school, actually stepped back to become a teaching assistant. Childcare was not a factor.

I will confess that I was another like Elowen33, who despite not regretting a day I spent at home with my children, did often find it mind-numbing. I used to describe it as going round with the mental blinds half down. This despite being involved in lots of community activities. My sister described the change in me when I went back to work as getting the pre-baby M0nica back.

I was out of the work market for seven years when my children were small, but I used it usefully to gain extra qualifications and came back to work not far below the level I was at when I gave up work and soon made progress

I went back to work full-time when both of mine were three months old, and that was exactly the right choice for me and my children. However, I would never put down anyone who chooses to be a stay-at-home mum. It's a bloomin' hard job, and I take my hat off to those who choose it. Thankfully, in this day and age, many women do have the choice whether to go back to work or not - something many of our forebears didn't have.

Women's liberation is to me about choice me too Luckygirl and I was fortunate to be a stay at home mum until our youngest started full time education.

Maybe there's a degree of jealousy from some who can't afford to do the same.

I was a sahm , then worked part time when they went to school. I don't regret it one minute, playgroup only once a week and lots of visits to my friends who had children the same age. It is a very personal choice and one parents should be happy with. Whatever works for that family is fine. Most parents work full time now but I do worry about the very long days children have in preschool care . I would have hated that! ( Old fashioned I know) but I was never bored being at home with my children . I was there for them the day after they threw up in the night - as they do occasionally, never had the stress of ringing my boss to say I couldn't come in to work, coffee meetup with friends , time to meet up with my lovely Mum or stay the afternoon with her - what's not to like!? I loved it. Each to their own , what matters is that parents make a choice that is right for them . Happy parents , happy child.

I wonder if nursery staff and childminders find childcare mind numbing?

I agree Luckygirl we should all respect other's choices. There's no 'one size fits all', we all have different circumstances and temperaments.

Not all women find looking after small children mind-numbing.

The young mother who decides to do so, presumably has friends who likewise are staying at home with their infants or toddlers.

My advice is do as you want, but do keep up your contributions to your pension fund, and make sure you have enough in the bank to tide you over a period with employment when you want back into the job market.

I dont know why people ask for opinions on situations which are very much a personal choice, to me it wouldn’t matter what other people thought about it.

If she is going to stay at home I can understand the need for the child to be in nursery for a couple of days, looking after a little one is mind numbing and the child would benefit mixing with other children.