Anyone else 'let themselves go'?

I don’t feel as if I’ve let myself go, although I have my round the house clothes for when I stay in all day. I don’t wear make-up when I stay in - which then doesn’t involve the slight chore of removing it at the end of the day! I have my grey hair coloured as I’m not ready to go grey and I feel washed out with grey hair. I want to look a bit younger than I am (70), but wouldn’t consider plastic surgery if it was for purely cosmetic reasons (unless needed after some terrible accident). I feel that I now have droopy jowls (that ventriloquist’s dummy look!) but will just have to put up with it, hence dressing nicely (smart casual) and making the most of myself. I have low self-esteem and enhancing my appearance gives me a bit more confidence. I hate my teeth, so I smile with my mouth closed! I look ok in the mirror, but hate photos of myself! I wish I wasn’t so self-conscious! 😩

Good for you !

I feel undressed without perfume, earrings and a spot of blusher and lippy.

This is interesting and made me think. I definitely don’t wear makeup every day apart from lipstick if we pop out somewhere. I get my legs waxed and have pedicures. I went grey a good few years ago but get many compliments on my hair which is a natural silvery blonde and the same colour all over. Clothes wise I still watch what is current but adapt. I like an elastic waist so linen draw string trousers are great. I can’t wear high heels as my ankles swell up. I am careful what I eat but I don’t diet. I feel happy as I am but don’t think I’m too bad for a 70 year old. My tastes have definitely changed as I’ve aged.

I was definitely a disappointment to my mother who told me that I should dress like the wife of a professional man - not just in any old thing.

DD, a lawyer who works from home a lot, lives near the university in her town, and the GCs went to the same primary school as a lot of the children of local academics.
One of the other mothers assumed that DD was an academic, "because you obviously don't care what you look like".
Actually, I think she looks all right. She has a slim figure, good skin and a good haircut and looks fine in an old jumper and jeans.

An interesting thread. So how do people feel about ditching the dye? I did this 2 years ago (much to a friend’s disapproval, as she said it added at least 7 years on). Personally, I think it’s one of the most important actions to take (especially if you’re not a natural blonde). It real does help you accept who you are now

I can make the smartest clothes look scruffy, so I don't really bother for everyday. When I get dressed up I usually get the 'you scrub up well' comment but by the end of the night I manage to look scruffy as ever.

AmberGran

^Why the inference that comfy clothes are linked to letting yourself go^

petra that's exactly what I can't understand. All these people who have spent their lives in uncomfortable clothes. Why??

Makes you wonder whether some posters are only just giving up their corsets.

It is like the assumption that to dress smartly is to dress uncomfortably. As I have said above I have never worn uncomfortable clothes (or shoes) yet I have managed to maintain a reputation for dressing well.

I think how you dress is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and scruffy isn't necessarily low self esteem, even if you are dressing like the OP describes, if you stand straight and there is a swagger in your step, you will look the bees knees.

Clean, casual and comfortable and with no make-up, that's how I am these days and how I feel happiest.
I rarely notice how other people are dressed, men or women, unless they are extremely different in some way or really over made up.
I notice things like facial expressions and tones of voices and actions more than anything, things that tell us who a person is.
I wouldn't say I am completely free from complying with the social norms of being a woman in the West, but free enough to feel much more relaxed.
Yes, Aveline, being "older" does free us if we let it. Onwards and upwards. 😉

Have you ‘let yourself go’ — or ‘set yourself free’? I’m finding there’s a joy in self-acceptance that allows me, paradoxically, to take much better care of myself. These days I’m not afraid to go to exercise classes, gym, go cycling, go to things on my own if I want to (theatre, cinema, restaurants, social events etc) now that I’m in my sixties and no longer anxious about ‘what will people think’. It’s totally fine that I don’t have a slim, trim figure, smooth hair or neatly pressed clothing. It’s such a pleasure and a relief!

I always feel I would’ve been a real disappointment to my mother, who even on the days leading up to her death her hair had to be done and her make up on. Where as I’ve never really been one for wearing make up every day. My hair is always clean and brushed as are my teeth, but most days it leggings or comfy trousers and a T-shirt or long shirt. My gran used to wear a blouse and pinafore in the morning to do her housework and once lunch was cleared away she changed into a day dress, brushed her hair and a quick pat of face powder and a splash of perfume and that was her routine until she died at 92.

But I value myself highly yet am not bothered about what I wear or look like.
That's true confidence and came with age and life experience.

Quite possibly. I only wear comfortable clothes (and especially shoes) but always make an effort to look stylish (my style that is, a bit boho.)
My hair is 100% grey but I really look after it and flaunt it with pride.
I don’t wear much make-up, just a good foundation and mascara sometimes.
It’s important for me to look as good as I can but I’m certainly not chasing my youth.
I wouldn’t dream of letting myself go because it would make me depressed.
No doubt the time will come when I can’t look after myself but that’s a different thing altogether.

Millie22

I like that comment.... our clothes reflect the value we put on ourselves.

That is so true. I have recently returned from holiday and some of the outfits were quite hideous.

That actually makes sense. When you put no value on yourself, then you don't care what you look like.

It has been a long letting go for me, bit by bit. And I daresay it has further to go, God willing. It is a little bit hard each time but it also brings freedom with it.

Definitely elements of letting myself go along with going for comfort. Clean - yes. Ironed -no ...unless it's a wedding or something like that. Comfortable shoes ...always. The worst way I let myself go is putting a few extra pounds on ...especially on holiday. I definitely don't need any extra So for the sake of my health and also to feel better I try to take the extra off as soon as I get back or I would let myself go in a big way

I think I live more like a child with a dress up box. I love clothes - especially unconventional stuff - and happily wear it around the house likely with no makeup and unbrushed hair (,although I am blessed with hair that seems to look styled even when unbrushed)

I like that comment.... our clothes reflect the value we put on ourselves.

That is so true. I have recently returned from holiday and some of the outfits were quite hideous.

I’m the same, I get a pedicure and a manicure every three weeks or so, and although i can look like an unmade bed at times, I feel that just lifts me out of looking like some poor soul who’s slept in a doorway all night, perfume is an absolute must..And now with the hot weather a panama style hat is a boon, it covers a multitude of sins..lol..

I have been influenced by Yul Brynner, whereby I mostly wear a uniform of black trousers & a nice blouse, (Yul obviously chose a shirt, I imagine!))
It stops me messing about & faffing in my wardrobe, as well as being suitable for almost all daily events.
I'm too small to wear dresses but I've found my comfortable look & I'm sticking to it. Thanks Yul. 😊

Yes, I don't make much of an effort on a daily basis but I try to make an effort when I go out. If I did it every day, I wouldn't have those uplifting moments.

We’ve just looked after our granddaughters aged 7 and 4 for four days whilst their parents were away. After day 1 I realised I’d let myself go. No makeup and no time to think about what to wear!

Mostly i live in casual clothes. I like my hair to be tidy and I do wear lipstick if going out. I have/had a few ages spots on my face and decided to have them removed. Absolutely delighted with the result and if necessary will do it again. Every so often I like to smarten up a bit. A few of my elderly neighbours are very smart, however the most important thing is being happy in yourself and if that is dressed up or very casual the only person that matters is you.

LauraNorderr

Unpleasant body odour, lank greasy hair and last nights dinner between the teeth. Clothes worn repeatedly over and containing said odour and stained with said accumulated dinners. That’s letting yourself go.
Being clean and deodorised, hair combed and grease free with freshly brushed teeth and clean clothes, ironed or not, is all we need.
Best thing about retirement is that we can just be comfortable, happy in our own skin and wearing a smile of contentment.
Let it all hang out…
No don’t go that far!

Gave me a laugh LauraNorderr, the first bit. Most people seem to dress up a bit when they go out round here . My mum wouldn’t let me wear jeans when I was young , I practically live in them now, black ones, light blue, dark blue, got the lot.