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Is intolerance getting worse on GN?

(560 Posts)
kittylester Sun 29-Jun-25 18:35:51

I am horrified to have been told, in the last couple of days, that Rod Stewart's music should not be listened to because he supports reform and to stop watching Eastenders and read a library book.

Well, I watched Rod Stewart and am still an SDP supporter - if they only still existed!

And, the library in our village is a very successfully run community library which i helped transition from Council control -between watching episodes of Eastenders.

For goodness sake - get a grip some of you!

Dorisdodar Fri 04-Jul-25 09:23:48

Going back to the point about integration there's always a compromise to be made and it's usually the white british who have to make it.
My GC attend a COE school, so a Christian school, they take sweets in for the class when it's their Birthday. Recently a letter was sent home from school to say in future sweets brought into school for Birthdays should be Haribo halal.
My son doesn't agree with halal slaughter so won't be buying them.
About 2% of the the children look of Asian origin.

Maremia Fri 04-Jul-25 10:12:16

Okay, just addressing the specific and not the general, and I looked it up for you, there are vegan haribo sweets. Might help in this specific situation.

Claremont Fri 04-Jul-25 19:50:12

kittylester

I live near Leicester and we are friends with people of all nationalities but there are large areas near the city where no integration is apparent and there are regular fights between different nationalities

And, I am sometimes shocked to see small children translating for their youngish parents.

Very common in Dordogneshire and parts of Spain.

In my experience, this never happened in Leicester but often in Loughborough (very poor Bengali families from Silhet).

kittylester Fri 04-Jul-25 21:06:54

It does happen in Leicester now. You may recall a large new Sainsbury's - i have seen it there countless times.

And, I have never seen it in Loughborough. I think it's a while since you left the area.

And there have been fights between different factions in Leicester.

lafergar Fri 04-Jul-25 21:12:06

Surely fights and people relying on children to translate are 2 different issues?

Primrose53 Fri 04-Jul-25 21:15:11

Claremont

kittylester

I live near Leicester and we are friends with people of all nationalities but there are large areas near the city where no integration is apparent and there are regular fights between different nationalities

And, I am sometimes shocked to see small children translating for their youngish parents.

Very common in Dordogneshire and parts of Spain.

In my experience, this never happened in Leicester but often in Loughborough (very poor Bengali families from Silhet).

My BIL who lives 5 mins from Loughborough just left my house an hour ago! Pity he left as he would have had a lot to say about this.

He was saying he really hates living there now as he is Leicester born and bred and feels he is an outsider in both Leicester and Loughborough. He says he might as well live in Pakistan. His grandchildren are just a few of the White British kids in their school. All the shops are geared up for Asians. There are parts of Leicester he will no longer go to.

He has lived in his house for 40 years and in that time the sense of community has diminished as more locals move away and Asians move into his neighbourhood.

lafergar Fri 04-Jul-25 21:18:57

Oh dear Primrose, it just goes on and on doesn't it?

I have lived in Leicester, in Narborough Road. Coming from a completely " white " rural place, it took a bit of adjustment.

Then I wondered....how? and why?

Perhaps you and your brother would care to think about that.

Allira Fri 04-Jul-25 21:32:08

Yes, we've lived in mixed areas in London and found that some people (mainly those from India and Ugandan Asians) wished to integrate, they were enterprising and ambitious, others stuck to their areas and did not. People from Pakistan tended to stick to their own areas and did not integrate even though they worked with others of different nationalities.
Strangely enough, the Indians and Ugandan Asians did not get on. Different religions perhaps? Different class? I never asked.

Allira Fri 04-Jul-25 21:41:16

Anyway, not sure what this has to do with Is intolerance getting worse on GN?!!

Mollygo Fri 04-Jul-25 22:34:29

Allira

Anyway, not sure what this has to do with Is intolerance getting worse on GN?!!

Because we’re seeing examples on here of intolerance of others opinions.
E.g. A posters being intolerant of how B posters have found a situation they have encountered, because the A posters don't find the situation the same, so B posters must be wrong.
Or the other way round.

If you RTFT or is it RTWT, you’ll find other examples that exemplify whether or not intolerance getting worse on GN.

Allira Fri 04-Jul-25 22:40:13

Yes, ISWYM Mollygo!

We need to respect others' experiences even if we have not encountered the same. Some posters continue with the intolerance but it could be because they have not experienced the same as others so cannot understand.

RosieandherMaw Fri 04-Jul-25 23:14:49

Very common in Dordogneshire and parts of Spain
I don’t understand these references.
Are they meant to indicate areas with a high % of expats?
I also wonder precisely when Claremont lived in Leicester/Loughborough - towns can change in a very few decades and kittylester lives there now. .

RosieandherMaw Fri 04-Jul-25 23:18:57

And dismissing kittylester’s CURRENT experience because it is at odds with yours of -how long ago- perhaps, 20 years?- is precisely the sort of intolerance I understood OP to be referring to.

Wyllow3 Sat 05-Jul-25 00:18:31

Allira

Yes, ISWYM Mollygo!

We need to respect others' experiences even if we have not encountered the same. Some posters continue with the intolerance but it could be because they have not experienced the same as others so cannot understand.

Spot on, Allira.

Again I findmyslef agreeing with you as we did in the "interfaith" discussion and many saying we do pray, there is some sense of the spiritual, even if we aren't "Religious"' officially. For me, it's mainly the blessing of the love of others, music and some poetry like the four Quartets by Ts Eliot that "reach the soul" when you are open to it.

Whitewavemark2 Sat 05-Jul-25 01:35:39

RosieandherMaw

^Very common in Dordogneshire and parts of Spain^
I don’t understand these references.
Are they meant to indicate areas with a high % of expats?
I also wonder precisely when Claremont lived in Leicester/Loughborough - towns can change in a very few decades and kittylester lives there now. .

As the OP rightly said

GN is getting more intolerant! 😄

lafergar Sat 05-Jul-25 08:07:30

What a time to be alive.

Maremia Sat 05-Jul-25 08:08:42

I wasn't around during the Golden Dawn of Gransnet, and so have no idea if the Posters have become more intolerant.
I have noticed that posts, particularly on the vibrant News and Politics threads, to which I mainly contribute, can be 'polarised', to the extent that you may almost predict who will propose/expose/contradict certain issues. At the same time these threads are very instructive, when Posters share ideas on what to read up on for historical context, and when you are given perspectives from other places.
The Health issues threads are mostly very kind. The Estrangements ones can be tragic.

Wyllow3 Sat 05-Jul-25 08:53:54

Allira

Yes, we've lived in mixed areas in London and found that some people (mainly those from India and Ugandan Asians) wished to integrate, they were enterprising and ambitious, others stuck to their areas and did not. People from Pakistan tended to stick to their own areas and did not integrate even though they worked with others of different nationalities.
Strangely enough, the Indians and Ugandan Asians did not get on. Different religions perhaps? Different class? I never asked.

I have lived close by to, and now drive 4 days a week to our very settled Pakistani community.

(I also drive past the Somali community, as my city has taken in people fleeing that war torn area, and thats the only place in my city where I have sometimes see the burka)

That particular community is well integrated. The towns "head" Mosque is also there.

it is most certainly not a "no go area", although of course there are no-go areas such as some alluded to.

On the other side of town there is a larger community where there are also peoplefrom Bangladesh, they are living in houses once occupied by no dying industries.

I'll start by saying that surely we all recognise that there are white communities which are pretty much "no go

I have a friend who lives over the other side of town in a small estate. Its actually a nice little fairly new build estate, but even in daylight the times I've visited I've been aware of small groups of young people sort of guarding it, staring hard at "incomers". I was stared very hard at on my last visit.

Just think of the Kray brothers in the East end of London, and we definitely have pockets even locally where although its not as no go, they are unsafe and we wouldnt go there or let our children go there. I could name 3 or 4 areas in the city for certain and it must be the same in other cities, surely? We are looking at areas controlled by white "gangs" who dont take kindly to those attempting to enter "their" turf.

But back to the Pakistani community I know best, and in fact specifically, as I used to go to art classes at the church-turned-big community centre where volunteers taught English, and the kind of classes where women only tend to go, like stitching and embroidery. They also have social activities,

Alas, post Covid, funding has been partially cut, and it has only limited classes, but I still just now could find English teaching of course, which draws in people to the centre making it truly multi cultural.

There are social events (the picture shows a "mum's and children's day)..multi cultural art group, toddler group (see pic), Support buddies, where anyone can get help filling in forms, either though educational or language difficulties.

So in the local Pakistani community I am seeing changes as the third and fourth generation biomes more and more integrated. I see groups of women, for example, who although they wear a headscarf, dress is oh so pretty clothes and soft headscarves, hardly retiring, but enjoying: I see the walk home from school, and that many of the girls do not wear a headscarf any more as do more and more of their mums. I can honestly say, I have not personally seen a women walking "respectfully behind her husband" - in our local lovely family centred park, park, people are there from all over, including Pakistani families or couples for a day out, and I see laughing, equal relationships. clearly this is at one end of a scale, but its does happen. Just last night coming out of Sainsburys there were a group of young Pakistani women and two children: all the women were dressed in Shalwar Kameez and looked enviably gorgeous, even alluring: I've often thought how practical those outfits are too -no worry about revealing your legs if they aren't quite as you'd like). The girl had no headscarf and was wearing her school uniform.

You see, after school, both boys and girls going to classes to teach their culture and the girls do wear their headscarves for that.

There is also a "new breed" of women around uni age who wear Islamic dress (*Iam*) has specifically mentioned this. its not the black all over clothing at all, its "smart modest dress" and its a commitment to their religion, just as I as a Quaker in meetings wear "simple dress".

I'll end with this snippet as I typed in whether girls or boys did better at school: even in Pakistan, its changing

"In Pakistan, there's a complex situation regarding educational performance, with evidence suggesting girls are increasingly outperforming boys in some areas, while also facing greater barriers to access and retention in education.

To summarise: on the whole there is from all but the very specific group of Pakistanis who take a "hard line" on matters Islamic rather than one that is happy to integrate, and there are very real signs of women being more liberated, and men accepting that:, and that there fore

-unless those who are hostile insist "it aint so" push their line - and what is better as regards change - the carrot or the stick?

theworriedwell Sat 05-Jul-25 08:57:43

Dorisdodar

Going back to the point about integration there's always a compromise to be made and it's usually the white british who have to make it.
My GC attend a COE school, so a Christian school, they take sweets in for the class when it's their Birthday. Recently a letter was sent home from school to say in future sweets brought into school for Birthdays should be Haribo halal.
My son doesn't agree with halal slaughter so won't be buying them.
About 2% of the the children look of Asian origin.

The least "integrated" person I've worked with was a woman who was my supervisor. Due to her religion she could only talk to us about work related matters, never had a coffee with us, never had lunch with us, never went shopping with us, never celebrated anything with us.

She was a white British Christian. I believe she was Plymouth Brethren.

Wyllow3 Sat 05-Jul-25 09:00:29

Maremia

I wasn't around during the Golden Dawn of Gransnet, and so have no idea if the Posters have become more intolerant.
I have noticed that posts, particularly on the vibrant News and Politics threads, to which I mainly contribute, can be 'polarised', to the extent that you may almost predict who will propose/expose/contradict certain issues. At the same time these threads are very instructive, when Posters share ideas on what to read up on for historical context, and when you are given perspectives from other places.
The Health issues threads are mostly very kind. The Estrangements ones can be tragic.

That is a top summary, Maremia. since I've spent now 2.5 years on gransnet, thats very much what I observe. the same posters can be fairly guaranteed to give a certain response.

I now pick out the treads in N and P which are of greatest interest for me, like this one: some of the predictable spats, I prefer to avoid, unless its "personal".

theworriedwell Sat 05-Jul-25 09:09:33

Allira

Yes, we've lived in mixed areas in London and found that some people (mainly those from India and Ugandan Asians) wished to integrate, they were enterprising and ambitious, others stuck to their areas and did not. People from Pakistan tended to stick to their own areas and did not integrate even though they worked with others of different nationalities.
Strangely enough, the Indians and Ugandan Asians did not get on. Different religions perhaps? Different class? I never asked.

I went to college about 50 years ago so not current but your post did remind me that

Afro Caribbean and African kids didn't get on
East African Asians didn't get on with Indian kids
East African Asians and Indians didn't get on with Pakistani kids

This was as a group and obviously there were individuals in all communities who didn't join in.

I can't remember much about Arab and Jewish kids, I think they were small numbers and didn't get involved.

Running battles in the canteen weren't unusual.

Having said that as the child of an Irish Catholic and an Ulster Protestant no one needs to explain to me how daft this sort of thing can be.

theworriedwell Sat 05-Jul-25 09:14:38

Allira

I may be agnostic, other times I'm not so sure and find myself praying.

I don't believe in spirits, as in ghosts, and yet I have had an experience with one. I find it quite difficult to explain these two beliefs to myself let alone to anyone else.

growstuff Sat 05-Jul-25 09:17:25

RosieandherMaw

^Very common in Dordogneshire and parts of Spain^
I don’t understand these references.
Are they meant to indicate areas with a high % of expats?
I also wonder precisely when Claremont lived in Leicester/Loughborough - towns can change in a very few decades and kittylester lives there now. .

I don't live in Loughborough, although my partner lives very near and it's my nearest big town when I stay with him. We go shopping there maybe one a fortnight and also go to the cinema and other events. Fortunately, I haven't come across any no go areas. Compared with where I live, it seems run down and a bit scruffy, but many places are worse. I can honestly say that I have noticed more black and brown faces than where I live because I currently live in a predominantly white area, but so what? They haven't made any difference to the time I spend there.

Claremont Sat 05-Jul-25 09:35:49

RosieandherMaw

And dismissing kittylester’s CURRENT experience because it is at odds with yours of -how long ago- perhaps, 20 years?- is precisely the sort of intolerance I understood OP to be referring to.

RosieandherMaw- I certainly did not dimiss kitty's experience at all. Where on earth? Where s the 'intolerance' in saying it is not my experience, and that the Indian communities in Leicester and Loughborough are very different. And as I am in regular contact with many friends there, and visit very often, and discuss this with many in the teaching/social/medical sectors, it does not seem to have changed so much. Loughborouhg has a large number or poor, illiterate Silhettis from Bengal- Leicester not. Ugandan Asians, Gujuratis, Sikhs- are very different.

As for Dordogneshire- and parts of Spain- yes, huge foreing communities that do not integrate, do not learn the language, have their own clubs, societies, Churches even. Lack of willing to integrate is not just about some immigrant communities (and apply very much so to those who call themselves 'expats').

Allira Sat 05-Jul-25 10:19:50

East African Asians didn't get on with Indian kids

Interesting, theworriedwell.
This was a few years ago and my DC played with children of both families - but not all together!