Is intolerance getting worse on GN?

We also know what’s they look like kitty and possibly their personal email details. It’s a choice we can all make - or not. To go back to your original question, in my view - yes.

MayBee70

But we’re careful not to disclose that publicly unless the poster has done so themselves.

But the poster has in this instance!

Sorry, I was replying - very slowly - to kittys post of 20.41.

MayBee70

But we’re careful not to disclose that publicly unless the poster has done so themselves.

But, in this instance, it was not public.

It was a 'welcome back, I've realised who you are' type pm.

So, is this a storm in a teacup? Another poster saying "hey, hello, I've sussed you! Welcome back!"
Or is it a troll who has found out who someone is and is threatening them in real life?

But, Claremont has said she lived in Leicestershire. So lots of us know where she lived.

We do get trolls messaging us sometimes.

But usually they want to be our new best friend!

kittylester

Surely, as we have meet ups, it's not unusual for someone to know where another person lives.

Of course. But the information put in PM was never shared with that person, and has nothing to do with where I live. I recently posted in the pet Forum, very deliberately, information which made it clear about previous names. This info has never been shared with anyone, let alone the poster whom I have never met. So quite different

Allira

kittylester

Surely, as we have meet ups, it's not unusual for someone to know where another person lives.

Or, if people have posted a lot of information about themselves, even if they change their name, they perhaps make it obvious who they were when they return?

Is this this getting out of proportion?

I'm willing to be persuaded otherwise, but maybe if someone is coming back after a suspension they should have to say who they were before? It puts them at an advantage if they don't, surely? They can make reference to old threads and what others posted whilst remaining anonymous themselves. If their old name is unavailable, obviously they will have to choose a new one, but maybe not something totally different?

If someone just feels that they fancy a new start, perhaps after getting involved in a spat, or changing their mind about something about which they've been 'opinionated' (not an insult in my book ) then fair enough, but I wonder if the two situations are really comparable?

Allira

MayBee70

But we’re careful not to disclose that publicly unless the poster has done so themselves.

But, in this instance, it was not public.

It was a 'welcome back, I've realised who you are' type pm.

So, is this a storm in a teacup? Another poster saying "hey, hello, I've sussed you! Welcome back!"
Or is it a troll who has found out who someone is and is threatening them in real life?

How bizarre- how on earth yould you know what a pm to me is all about? How?

But no, it was a pm that outed very personal information about a very personal matter, which sounded threatening, but very carefully done.

from someone I have never met. have met about 5 GN members in the past, but certainly not that one. And I never shared this information at all. So it did feel like stalking.

But no, it was a pm that outed very personal information about a very personal matter, which sounded threatening, but very carefully done.
Very worrying, but if you’ve confided it to nobody, how did they know?

No, I didn't know! It was up thread that it was a lightbulb moment. So only assuming.
(Never assume anything, I suppose.)

As is assuming maybe if someone is coming back after a suspension when they may have just wanted a break?

People might change names for all kinds of reasons.

People might change names for all kinds of reasons

Yes, and possibly for very good reasons, but I imagine that then it would just be for a one-off, temporary name change. Otherwise declaring a previous name makes sense.

I had the 💡 moment earlier about the name change being the case here because a poster above me asked, Do those sinister PMs imply that the sender has indentified who you are “in real life?" It was the only alternative I could think of. And I did say I could be wrong.
I've met three other GNetters in the flesh. They might not remember me, as I'm not particularly remarkable (!!), but they would remember where I lived because they came out of their own counties, one over 400 miles away, to visit.

Delila

^People might change names for all kinds of reasons^

Yes, and possibly for very good reasons, but I imagine that then it would just be for a one-off, temporary name change. Otherwise declaring a previous name makes sense.

You're supposed to be able to choose a temporary name if you want to ask a personal or sensitive question but it doesn't work.

Yes, of course. I can think of lots of reasons why someone might want to be ‘second level anonymous’. But why would someone else try to out them without good reason? I can’t think of any reason other than to be unkind, if the name-changer is simply asking a personal question.

I do understand that if someone has a track record for offensive posts, disappears, then comes back under a different name and starts again with the offensiveness there is a temptation to let them know that you haven’t been fooled. I’ve made it clear (up front and in public) when that’s been the case before now, rightly or wrongly. But if a poster genuinely wants a fresh start, and isn’t reverting to type, why not let them?

I’m just musing here, but must have had it on my mind overnight as I dreamt that my sister was in disguise and didn’t accept that I knew who she was even when she was talking about our parents 😂.

Claremont

from someone I have never met. have met about 5 GN members in the past, but certainly not that one. And I never shared this information at all. So it did feel like stalking.

I’ve just realised who you are 😊. A bit slow on the uptake, Hello again.

I didn't know that, Allira, about a 'temporary' name change being permitted. I have read, yes, that Posters change their names. It does take a while to suss out the rules.

What Claremont is describing sounds a wee bit creepy, to be honest.
Might be worth getting the Admins' view of the communication, just for clarification and re-assurance.

Doodledog

Yes, of course. I can think of lots of reasons why someone might want to be ‘second level anonymous’. But why would someone else try to out them without good reason? I can’t think of any reason other than to be unkind, if the name-changer is simply asking a personal question.

I do understand that if someone has a track record for offensive posts, disappears, then comes back under a different name and starts again with the offensiveness there is a temptation to let them know that you haven’t been fooled. I’ve made it clear (up front and in public) when that’s been the case before now, rightly or wrongly. But if a poster genuinely wants a fresh start, and isn’t reverting to type, why not let them?

I’m just musing here, but must have had it on my mind overnight as I dreamt that my sister was in disguise and didn’t accept that I knew who she was even when she was talking about our parents 😂.

Just musing, but is sending a personal message outing someone? 🤔

Don't tell your sister your dream!! (What if she's on here? 😯)

She might be . If she is, she's keeping her cards closer to her chest than she was in the dream, though.

Maremia

We discourage members from changing their usernames because we want everyone to be able to trust the relationships they build with others on Gransnet. However, you will be able to change your username once for sensitive threads.

Perhaps you have to ask and then ask to change back again.

Claremont

kittylester

Surely, as we have meet ups, it's not unusual for someone to know where another person lives.

Of course. But the information put in PM was never shared with that person, and has nothing to do with where I live. I recently posted in the pet Forum, very deliberately, information which made it clear about previous names. This info has never been shared with anyone, let alone the poster whom I have never met. So quite different

Report it to the moderators and let them sort it out.

J52

Claremont

from someone I have never met. have met about 5 GN members in the past, but certainly not that one. And I never shared this information at all. So it did feel like stalking.

I’ve just realised who you are 😊. A bit slow on the uptake, Hello again.

Ah thanks J52, and hello to you. Surprised you didn't realise as I was publicly outed on another thread. Which is fine- just wondering why so many others who have changed names so often are never 'outed'? I do wish I'd never heeded the advice to change names, I am Jura and always will be. Always welcome if ever in the region.

Of course many know where I live and lived and other bits of info. But in this case, the info given in the PM is very personal and was never divulged. The poster whom I don't know, either knew for a long time and chose not to tell, or made enquiries, which really feels like stalking and probalbly meant to unsettle. It worked.

Changing the subject somewhat, I have now been on GN a while and I have begun to notice that there is a growing tendency for some GNs to routinely disagree with other GNs they have taken a dislike to. It might even have happened to me but I am not sure. I did notice an instance of my posting an opinion and having it totally dissed by a Gransnetter then another GN posting virtually the same thing further down the thread and the Gransnetter agreeing with them.

I have also noticed GNs hounding other GNs as mentioned above.

You are quite right.

Happened [I reported and GN appeared to sort it] to me.
Started to happen again lately. I was close to reporting again.

The annoying thing is, sometimes other posters assume it is a different poster to the one that is actually causing the problems.

I have seen another poster have a similar problem. With a different poster, I hasten to add.