Driving at 90

Maybe get a friend who used to drive/but now takes taxis if need be to give you an estimate of what they've spent on taxi fares over recent months - compared to what a car would cost to run (including insurance/devaluation/the lot). It's bound to be a saving....

Living in a small town in West Wales and being used to being able to get everywhere I particularly required within 30 minutes (and that was walking there) = I wince at the cost of taxi fares. But - compared to the cost of running a car = what I've just spent/will spend in next week on taxi fares is:

- £160 return taxi fare to bigger town (because nearer podiatrists arent good enough)
- £160 coming up shortly to bigger town (because there aren't enough osteopaths here - because they are only part-time).

I'd be willing to bet I'd have had to cover more than £320 for all car expenses in that time if I included everything. That's a particularly dear month too mark you - with NHS appointments/NHS bills (as I call them - though these people are all private).

Most months I don't have an "NHS bill" to pay and nothing goes out on taxi fares.

Please do not go behind your husband's back and have his driving-licence revoked. Doing so might well cause a very difficult situation if he ever realised what you had done.

It is hard to accept that we can no longer safely do this or that, and for some odd reason having to give up driving is very hard indeed.

Sit down quietly with your husband and discuss possiblities.

Presumably, he would be appalled and never forgive himself if he continued to drive and his poor sight resulted in him killing someone. You will know whether you should start with this horrific possiblility or end with it.

Before even starting the conversation, do some homework.
Work out what it actually costs you annually to run a car. Take everything into account:
Petrol
Servicing
M.O. T.
Insurance
Road tax
Parking when you have to use parking meters or paid parking

You may be amazed by the amount.

Then find out what alternatives there are to driving, and how expensive they are.

Do you live on a bus route?
Near a train station?
What do taxis cost?
Is there any kind of transport for the elderly, or disabled available, and if so, what does it cost?
Do you have a young relative or friend who could be added to your insurance and drive for you?

Some or all of the answers might help convince your husband that now is the time for you both to stop driving. (You did not actually say if you do drive.)

I hope you find a solution that you both can live with.

A maximum age would deny a lot of competent rural drivers their only transport: here in Somerset bus and taxi services are few and far between and village shopping is limited. It would put nearby towns and their hospitals out of reach for many. Those who live in well-serviced urban places don't understand the problems of rural life.

Romola

I'll be 80 next week and have booked a session with a driving instructor who should be able to tell me whether I'm safe to go on driving. On Saturday I'll be driving nearly 500 miles from north-east Fife to near Southampton, just dreading the M6 from Preston to about Warwick on the M40. But I don't drive this route in the winter.

Everyone dreads the M6!

I reached 70 last year and was surprised one could apply for a licence renewal by self certifying your ability to drive /see safely. Before completing the tick box exercise I booked myself an eye test so I could be confident my sight was fine. I know there will come a time when I may have to give up driving, hopefully a good while away. I already find driving 200 miles to visit my family pretty tiring and when my DD lived 400 miles away I needed an overnight stop to break the journey. I plan to downsize and move nearer and the requirement of my new home includes proximity to shops, doctors and public transport so that I can remain independent even if driving becomes a thing of the past. I hope when the time comes I will be sensible and not try to carry on too long.
My grandfather was a driving instructor and taught me to drive when I was 17. In later years if I was driven by him I realised that his driving was a bit slow sometimes for the road conditions and he caused other drivers to get impatient. I never said anything but it was noticeable to me. I can't remember exactly when he gave up driving but I suspect rather later than he should have.
I know many people who have stopped driving long distances but still drive locally. One of them gave me a lift to an eye appointment where I was having drops put in which prevented me from driving myself home afterwards. I won't be asking her to do it again as I felt quite nervous in her car. She's only a few years older than me so I'm really glad she no longer does long distances, but should she even be doing local journeys? I don't know.

I accidentally reversed (very gently!) into a parked car in a crowded and unfamiliar car park two weeks ago, and whilst I felt the slight bump I was amazed at the amount of damage to the bodywork of the other car. The car was unoccupied, so I took photos and left a note with my contact details but a witness told me he knew the driver and the marks were old ones as a result of numerous other bumps that the driver had had. I then noticed that he had a blue badge - so maybe the fact that I have not heard a dickie bird from him (or her) was because he or she didn't want to admit to having had previous accidents.

I believe proof of eye tests should be mandatory at 70.
Many years ago, an elderly chap mounted a pavement in the next town to ours, killing a mother. It came out later that he had cataracts.
My dad was diabetic, took a low, mum ended up changing the gears- that afternoon the car was sold. They couldn’t have lived with themselves if he had killed someone.

Make him watch this episode of Cause of Death - License to Kill, it was heartbreaking seeing how many elderly drivers had killed innocent people knowing their eyesight was not good enough www.channel5.com/show/cause-of-death-special-a-licence-to-kill

I decided to stop driving when I was 82, mostly because my partner didn't drive and never had and I was just fed up with being expected to drive us everywhere. Also the overcrowded roads are a nightmare. As I live in a city the doctor's surgery is easily available by tram . We have our groceries delivered and a small Tesco and a small Sainsbury's within walking distance. The hairdresser and dentist are a short walk away. So no problems and a taxi for infrequent longer journeys. So no, haven't missed the car one jot.

Fidelity2

My Sister in law is 92 and still drives but limits her destination to places that she knows well and feels safe driving to .This seems OK to me ?

Absolutely NOT!. Most accidents happen within 2 miles of home. Many are older folks whose reactions are not good enough to stop if a small child or animal runs into the road.

There is no reason why her age should stop her, but her eyes need checking every six months, and try the paper drop test on her reactions (put a banknote between her fingers and inch apart, level with the bottom, and drop it. If she catches it her reactions are good, if not that discussion needs to happen). You can test her in the car, by doing the driving test smack on the dashboard test too and see how far she gets before coming to a halt.

Atqui
Add up the cost of running a car, tot up the number of times he goes out and how far. My mum did this and found that cost of taxis was much less, and making friends with the local taxi firm meant the same lovely man used to come most of the time.

She also bought a mobility scooter (with go-faster stripes too), and whizzed around on that. Max speed is 8mph, although if that worries you, you can buy 4mph pavement only ones (fast walking pace), and a couple of those walking poles.

And they can cause an accident whether they are in familiar areas or not.

Here in Ireland for many years, drivers over 70 (though recently changed to 75), must book in with their GP for a Driving Medical and Eyesight Test. The GP takes into account the drivers medical issues too from his files. GP can then give his written recommendation on the form that the driver is safe to drive for either one more or three more years. More often for one year at a time. They can also discuss gently any concerns about the drivers reaction times and suggest a referral to a “Disability” Tester. This takes it out of the concerned family members hands.

AuntieE

Please do not go behind your husband's back and have his driving-licence revoked. Doing so might well cause a very difficult situation if he ever realised what you had done.

It is hard to accept that we can no longer safely do this or that, and for some odd reason having to give up driving is very hard indeed.

Sit down quietly with your husband and discuss possiblities.

Presumably, he would be appalled and never forgive himself if he continued to drive and his poor sight resulted in him killing someone. You will know whether you should start with this horrific possiblility or end with it.

Before even starting the conversation, do some homework.
Work out what it actually costs you annually to run a car. Take everything into account:
Petrol
Servicing
M.O. T.
Insurance
Road tax
Parking when you have to use parking meters or paid parking

You may be amazed by the amount.

Then find out what alternatives there are to driving, and how expensive they are.

Do you live on a bus route?
Near a train station?
What do taxis cost?
Is there any kind of transport for the elderly, or disabled available, and if so, what does it cost?
Do you have a young relative or friend who could be added to your insurance and drive for you?

Some or all of the answers might help convince your husband that now is the time for you both to stop driving. (You did not actually say if you do drive.)

I hope you find a solution that you both can live with.

OP has said that her husband is not actually driving. But if someone in his situation was, I would report them in a flash. What does ‘a difficult situation’ matter compared to someone being killed or badly injured by a driver who shouldn’t be on the road? That’s a much more difficult situation for the people who are bereaved. Sadly it has happened all too often.

Fidelity2

My Sister in law is 92 and still drives but limits her destination to places that she knows well and feels safe driving to .This seems OK to me ?

I agree with FranP. This does not seem OK to me one bit, unless she has unusually good eyesight and reaction times for her age.

A child or mentally ill person can run into the road anywhere.

Skye17

Fidelity2

My Sister in law is 92 and still drives but limits her destination to places that she knows well and feels safe driving to .This seems OK to me ?

I agree with FranP. This does not seem OK to me one bit, unless she has unusually good eyesight and reaction times for her age.

A child or mentally ill person can run into the road anywhere.

Whys should someone of 92 not have good eyesight. if she has had regular eye tests and her classes are up to date, there should not be a problem.

I think you are succumbing to the stereotyping of old people by age. Over 90 means doddery slow, bad eyesight, shot reflexes. Yes, some people at that age may be like that, but others will be remarkably fit and in good order at that age.

It depends entirely on the individual.

It's not about being over 90- it is about not having good enough vision, in this case. Which is not easy at all to adjust to, but essential for the safety of all.

Grantanow

A maximum age would deny a lot of competent rural drivers their only transport: here in Somerset bus and taxi services are few and far between and village shopping is limited. It would put nearby towns and their hospitals out of reach for many. Those who live in well-serviced urban places don't understand the problems of rural life.

If they are safe and competent drivers, great. If they are not, then they shouldn’t be driving, however much it inconveniences them. The thought of possibly killing someone when driving in old age is surely a good enough reason to admit when one is too old to drive. Unless your eyesight, reflexes and hearing are very good, please get off the road.
I am nearly 80 and have driven since 1962 (dare I say, fingers crossed, accident free?), travel at reasonable legal speeds, including doing 70 (ish!) on motorways when safe to do so. Every year, I ask my grandson to accompany me on a drive through town and country. He promises to give me an honest opinion on whether I should still be driving. That said, I hope I have the sense to realise when my driving days are over, but if I don’t, I have my grandson as my ‘tester’! For those who don’t have someone to test them, most driving schools will take you on a test drive to assess your ability.
My late father-in-law was once pulled over on a Motorway by the Police when his speed was 50mph. The motorway traffic was steady but not very busy so he couldn’t understand why he had been stopped. The Police told him that it is almost as dangerous to be driving too slowly as it is to drive too fast. Stands to reason when you think about it!

Congratulations to you DH on reaching 90, and driving at that age👏🍾🎈🎈, Try a taxi (Hope I live to be 90!) Congratulations again DH 👏. I am sure he is totally capable of meeting your transport needs but sadly ageing eyesight gets the better of us all eventually ) 💐 Use a Taxi -download the local app and enjoy being pampered (ignore UBER- support local business).

Hi. I'm 85 next month, and have just received my renewed licence.
I gave up my car a while back. I won't be driving.

I got it because - having no passport - I need an ID !

I haven't driven on motorways for nearly 20 years.
Simply because of lifestyle.
I no longer go anywhere.
But when I did I chose to drive at 55mph when possible.
That was advised by govt in the 1970s as being the most fuel efficient.
During the oil crisis. Seemed sensible to me and has never caused me a problem with any authorities or other drivers.

.

My husband stopped driving about 7yrs ago. He is 87,and his driving was showing signs of deterioration. He realised it was time to stop. He always hated driving anyway. Fortunately i love it .I have driven every day for the past 48 yrs . I can see us oder ones having to take a retest in the future. I wonder how many people would give up before having to take it.

Do you not drive? I'm dreading getting to that point but I do thunk 90with failing eyesight is time to stop. Safety to himself and particularly other road users and pedestrians. He must stop...good luck

If I was told I was unfit to drive because of my eyesight I would stop immediately. As would most people I hope .

As your husband has failing eyesight and has been told to stop driving he should do so. If he has an accident the car insurance will be invalid and he will be liable to pay for all damages. Also if he injures anyone he could be arrested and charged. In my town centre, a 92 year old drove his car onto the pavement. It resulted in 6 pedestrians being hit, one dead and two injured. He has to live with this guilt and appeared in the local newspapers.