Getting rid of unused/unwanted clutter at home

I have moved many times, both here and abroad, and sorting stuff out is never easy. Some things I can pass on easily but my precious books and music and antiques are a different matter. But it is more about how I need to go about it.

My husband was a great thrower out and sorter, but he was also a very kind and sympathetic man. I am definitely a control person of my property, and would hate anyone just coming in and sorting stuff out that I did not know what was going. So our way suited us. Brian would go through a drawer or cupboard and put anything he thought should be got rid of onto a big tray. Then I would go through it and would either say yes that can go, or rescue some important gadget from the hoover or whatever and maybe take back a couple of books. But this way it caused me much less anxiety and I still felt in control. This paid dividends as when I was more relaxed I was much more likely to get rid of things

Another thing that might be useful is to say to children that they need to remove all their things that they have left with you!! Whatever they want to do with them it is not down to you to be the store cupboard. I definitely think that a reward system is needed. X amounts of rubbish out, treat yourself to coffee or a lunch out. It helps when you are flagging, to say just this one more drawer and we will call it quits.

It's much easier with another person isn't it Madeleine. I find if I try to tackle it alone, I either get engrossed re- reading old letters or paralysed by the sheer scale of the task. I think I have been trying to declutter since DH died nearly 5 years ago. Progress is so slow.

I have an Italian helper coming in a week or so to stay and I hope, together we will make great strides.

What to do with 2 pairs of practically unworn Galloway clogs?

I’ve got the opposite problem.
Mum is coming to live with us and I am gradually bringing her stuff down to my house.
We are definitely up cluttering!
I arrived home yesterday with four more black bin bags full of clothes. This morning- yes I get up early I have hung up 6pairs if black trousers and 5pairs of brown! They all look identical apart from the colour! That’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are 15 winter jackets in the cupboard(boiler room).
The way we’re going we’ll have to move out!
Do your children a favour and get rid of stuff.

Poor you Pamela. I am sympathetic. My mum lived here with us in the 1980s and some of the things I'm going through are hers! Books galore and even her notes for her university thesis inside an ancient trunk dating to the 1930s.

Should I have a bonfire?

I don’t envy you with the up clutter Pamela.

Have that bonfire Grammaretto. We had several over weeks on end of clearing my in laws house. It was a nightmare for DH to think about doing being an only child, although I obviously helped him.

A friend and her husband had been asking her married son, for years, to take all of his books, university papers etc. from his childhood bedroom. Eventually they gave up asking. They packed all of his belongings into black bin bags and boxes. The next time they visited him they put everything on his drive. Needless to say nothing made it into the house. He didn't even bother sorting but took it all straight to the dump.

RedRidingHood

I have never been a hoarder, in fact I've been in trouble for getting rd of things a bit too quickly. However after mum died and I cleared her house it came home to me that what holds sentimental value for the parent is of no interest to the child.
We haven't used DVDs for over 20 years, everything is digital here. The main thing was books. Many, many bookcases full. I only read on kindle now so I've got rid of 99% of my books. Not easy as charities don't really want them these days. It frees up so much space when you get rid of stuff.

You are so right. I have a very large tea service that my Aunt left to me in her will. I have fond memories of it as a child but all my 5 children looked horrified when I asked if they would like it when anything happens to me. I was going to leave instructions for it to be donated to a local vintage tearooms until one of my DIL's admired it. Her name is on a sticky label underneath the cake stand.

I loved Count Duckula 'ducky egg'

I freeze summer fruit and veg in plastic currently, not glass. We put boxes of mason jars on the verge edge, before Church, gone already.

Because I have a big house everything has been stored in my attic (which is four rooms )
Nan came to live with me before she died and I got her and grandads things, then later mum and dad died and I had to clear their house . My children all left home and left all their stuff behind two went to live overseas, the third is here but is not a sentimental hoarder of any kind but I have all their uni stuff , photo albums, records , tapes personal stuff etc boxes of it ….now the two grandkids that live here have borrowed Nans attic as they are working away !!!
Anyway it’s all getting sorted will take me a month of Sundays and a lot of heart wrenching but it will get done (eventually)

My Dads tools and all the ones my son left behind before he emigrated have gone to TWAM I m happy with that and my Dad would have been
The funny story is my youngest daughter overseas told me to throw everything out! so I started to got a couple of boxes done and dusted and the following week she asked if I could find her tax number ‘it s in one of my boxes ‘ sorry love that box went in the bin …..
Think of me now going to put an office chair by my back gate fingers crossed

Charity shops around here are begging for books! the library has such poor stock these days people are desperate for a good read.

If I had enough room, that cross trainer would be heading here.

Anglo Doorstep Collections
are very good I find.
They would probably fetch that cross trainer out for you Keepingquiet.
Esp if you say you are not able to lift it. They are v helpful.
Why don't you contact them and ask.
They take books clothes and bric a brac.
And come when they say.
You can track them en route.
They make a donation to charity.

I've also accumulated a house ,
which is bursting at the seams with stuff .

A great deal of the things came from charity shops or were given to me . There were times when I accepted things out of sheer politeness .

I'm doing about two hours a day clearing it if I feel well enough .
I find it hard to part from things about which I'm sentimental .
The other problem is actually getting rid of stuff .
People don't really want it or sometimes they say that they do and don't collect it .
And sometimes neither do charity shops .
It's exhausting carting stuff in my grannie trolley on the bus down to the shops .

So far I've actually now thrown out close on a hundred dresses -most of them belonging to my daughter who bought them in great enthusiasm from charity shops and never wore then.
These were very welcome and have sold well according to my friends .
One of my friends bought one .
She's also the recipient of a huge sackful of dress patterns and is happily sewing for her daughter , who is a singer .
Someone expressed a love of baking and he's had all my baking books .
I never followed the recipes .

Yesterday I had another go at my books .
Some will go to a yoga studio .

But today I'm aching all over.

Tomorrow I'll have another session.

I put off sorting my stuff out and now I've started - I'm really shocked at the mountains of things ,which I've collected .

My mother was super tidy and house proud and used to throw newspapers away before you'd read them and once gave one of my dresses away to a greedy friend. I was really annoyed over it !

I wonder if my habit of keeping stuff is a reaction to her habit of throwing as much out as possible.
One daughter is similar to me and one is more like my mother .
Or perhaps I'm like my untidy rather disorganised grandma !

All fabric things washed from weekend attic clearing including my wedding dress.
Now to give upstairs and the stairs a good clean from all the bits that got dropped.
I’m feeling happy with what we have achieved so far.

Esmay; when my mum died there was nothing of my childhood left in her flat. Even a photo I’d taken of my toys had been thrown away. So I’m sure that’s why I can’t throw anything away. The only books I have are ones that I’d taken with me when I left home and I’ve been overwhelmed with emotion when I’ve found books from my childhood on eBay.

It is so hard to be ruthless with things you've loved for so long. I decluttered before I sold my house, boxes & boxes of books, dvds, random crockery, glasses, bedding etc. All went to local charity shop. Now 10 years on I'm doing it again, this time so that my children don't have such a huge job after I die. Although I still have a study with several floor to ceiling bookcases I'm drastically pruning them & only keeping the books by my favourite authors. No 1 son has been taking a crate of books into his office and letting colleagues take what they want. My cookery books went down a storm! Since we gave up having dinner parties I have donated the many, many lovely sets of plates, bowls, glasses etc. I'm not interested in selling them, just want to gift them to people who can use them. I have a women's refuge charity close by so they take all of my donations. I aim for a box a week, slow but sure! I also put larger items out on my drive.

RedRidingHood

I have never been a hoarder, in fact I've been in trouble for getting rd of things a bit too quickly. However after mum died and I cleared her house it came home to me that what holds sentimental value for the parent is of no interest to the child.
We haven't used DVDs for over 20 years, everything is digital here. The main thing was books. Many, many bookcases full. I only read on kindle now so I've got rid of 99% of my books. Not easy as charities don't really want them these days. It frees up so much space when you get rid of stuff.

Some Oxfam shops specialise in books and music, if you can find one nearby.

Anglo Doorstep Collections take books.

There were some really useful ideas on this thread. The thing is that when we were little, we were taught to look after everything, which means that a lot of the stuff is in pristine condition. Nowadays, there is a throw-away culture, so nothing is cared for.

We have over 5,000 books (and not enough bookshelves). I think that they 'make' a room, as do paintings. I can't bear to throw any book away - which is a major problem!!

Unfortunately, there is so much clutter, I can't find the things that I want. The removal guys were hopeless at labelling packing cases (kitchen - house) - what does that tell me?!! I couldn't pack due to heart & back issues, otherwise labelling would have been precise. There is an autograph book with an LS Lowry sketch and signature - can't find it. A stamp album of some vintage. Where is it? It is frustrating.

I felt relieved when I saw this thread. It means I'm not the only one out there. One of my neighbours/friends is the opposite and feel embarrassed if she comes over. I am a hoarder and as I get older am more sentimental. I lost my Mum and sister within 6 months of each other a few years ago and had to clear both houses. I didn't keep much for myself but what I had already and have accumulated since has made the house a bombsite. I think it is my comfort blanket. I am on my own and no family and badly want to clear things as it worries me what will happen when I can't do it or pop my clogs. I can truly understand how the people you see on TV get to the state you can't get in the house for stuff. I'm not at that point but still have too much. I've sold stuff on ebay, given things to friends, donated to charity shops but there just isn't enough hours in the day to do everything and to clear stuff. I don't go out a lot but what would life be if I didn't make an effort to go out and do things just stayed in to sort out. If anyone can suggest any motivating words or anything to help would be very grateful.

BlueBelle

Please consider the sewing machine if useable but old going to TWAM Tools with a mission They are collected cleaned tidied mended if something simple and sent to third world country where it could mean a young woman being able to start a small business
All tools of any kind too so anyone who s lost a husband but has a shed full of tools please consider doing that
Such a lovely charity

Brilliant! I've never heard of this organisation, I'll certainly bear it in mind for future clearouts. We still have Dad's old Jones sewing machine and his cutting shears ( he was a master pattern cutter) and my DH has many tools which will need to go when the time comes

Aely well done you! I have finally started on my junk room. Loads of books have gone to the local Oxfam shop along with the number on my gift aid card. The card is specific to Oxfam. Other charity shops need to give you their own. I took a load of odds and ends, including ornaments to my local dog rescue charity shop, Shak, and I'll be taking ancient unmatched crockery to the Salvation Army shop. They sell any crockery that isn't bought or saleable in the shop to a local artist who smashes and uses it to make mosaics.

I'm doing this now so my kids don't have to when I'm gone. I'm not planning on going any time soon, though!

LesLee7

I felt relieved when I saw this thread. It means I'm not the only one out there. One of my neighbours/friends is the opposite and feel embarrassed if she comes over. I am a hoarder and as I get older am more sentimental. I lost my Mum and sister within 6 months of each other a few years ago and had to clear both houses. I didn't keep much for myself but what I had already and have accumulated since has made the house a bombsite. I think it is my comfort blanket. I am on my own and no family and badly want to clear things as it worries me what will happen when I can't do it or pop my clogs. I can truly understand how the people you see on TV get to the state you can't get in the house for stuff. I'm not at that point but still have too much. I've sold stuff on ebay, given things to friends, donated to charity shops but there just isn't enough hours in the day to do everything and to clear stuff. I don't go out a lot but what would life be if I didn't make an effort to go out and do things just stayed in to sort out. If anyone can suggest any motivating words or anything to help would be very grateful.

I actually spend most of my life working on my house or attempting to declutter. Many years ago I used to dream of having a garden big enough to put a caravan in so I could leave the house to fend for itself and just live in the caravan!

One of my past dreams was to have library. Thank goodness I never had the room. Books are now ‘read and go’.

Same as you Beechnut read and go, we have about half a dozen that stay, four or 5 library books temporarily and that’s it. I’m a ‘chucker outer’ every couple of years - it’s due now, the cupboard under the stairs gets a clear out and any ‘new to us clothes or shoes’ could be secondhand, means the equivalent goes out.