Discrimination against older women

I use my PC for most things, and also my smartphone, although I do not as yet, trust it to pay with.
I think though that for many older women, who may be just on the basic pension, the costs of having an internet connection at home may be prohibitive. I have a partner and we share these costs, but if I were alone, with my tiny pension I think I would find it hard to find the money. I probably would though, as I love it for it's convenience and family hisory is my main hobby.

I think we're not listened to when we use health services, 10 months to diagnose a tendon rupture which, due to my age I assume, several practitioners, including GP and physiotherapist, had decided was only osteoarthritis. My own understanding of my body was ignored and it was assumed I had a common condition that affected older people and can be treated with sympathy and paracetamol, despite the fact that I was hopping around on crutches and saying it was an injury. I am not alone amongst my circle of friends in having been fobbed off, one even had a heart problem which needed surgery but was told it was imaginary! Access to investigations seems to be harder for older women in particular. I have started to be very vocal about it when I think it's discriminatory.

It really isn't just women, but anyone older who struggles with doing things online or with technology. My mother is no longer alive but I remember how she struggled even with using ATMs. Fortunately the staff in the bank knew her and rescued her card from the machine when she invariably forgot her pin.
I've done online banking for a while but my husband only started last year, when they closed the last of three banks that were reasonably close to us. The nearest is 45 minutes away by bus and involves long queuing for the limited tills. He really doesn't like using mobile banking, though he knows it is essential now. There are several older people locally who can only manage their banking because they have younger relatives who help them.
Much the same applies to online grocery shopping, which is something that becomes more necessary as you get older.
Some services from our excellent GP can only be obtained online now, not by phone, and the main NHS site has a pretty convoluted logging in system. Without going through to the site you can't read letters and reminders about hospital appointments in our area.

Charleygirl5

I would love to know how my smartphone works but I have nobody to teach me. Not having any family. I am more tech-savvy than my friends, as I order online and do online banking. I am partially sighted due to Macular and deaf because of a benign brain tumour, but I do try.

I have googled locally for classes but no joy.

Speak to Age UK, they have volunteers who can help you on a one to ne basis. A friend of mine used them when she had problems with her computer and found them so helpful.

Charleygirl5

I would love to know how my smartphone works but I have nobody to teach me. Not having any family. I am more tech-savvy than my friends, as I order online and do online banking. I am partially sighted due to Macular and deaf because of a benign brain tumour, but I do try.

I have googled locally for classes but no joy.

I tried with a smartphone and had to give up...as I couldnt figure out anything on it.

I'm just trying again - with one called "Chattie" - as they say it's very simple and it's marketed for the "elderly". I am not best charmed at buying an "elderly" phone - but thought I'll give it a try. They say it comes already set-up.....but I have a back-up plan in mind of going into the local phone shop and offering to pay them to make sure it is sorted and I know how to use it if it comes to it.

I think it pretty much only does what I want it for - and not a load of unnecessary "bells and whistles" too. It's the "bells and whistles" that got me when I tried it before - and I binned it and thought "Well - if 'They' can't be arsed to do a simple one = then blow them and They will have to accept me doing things my way".

Yes, I agree.
It’s attitude, not age that holds folk back.

I’m eighty, and have adapted to using an iPad and online banking. Ordering goods online etc.

I have several friends of Same age who just can’t be bothered to learn and flatly refuse to learn.

Of course, it drives me nuts sometimes as I don’t fully understand IT . But I refuse to be left behind.

Charleygirl5

I would love to know how my smartphone works but I have nobody to teach me. Not having any family. I am more tech-savvy than my friends, as I order online and do online banking. I am partially sighted due to Macular and deaf because of a benign brain tumour, but I do try.

I have googled locally for classes but no joy.

Charleygirl5, have you tried your local library (or libraries if you're lucky)? I volunteer in one and they run sessions for people who need help navigating smart phones, ipods, laptops etc. Maybe check out that route? Hope you get sorted soon.

I use my apple wallet on my iphone to pay for everything in shops it means that when i leave the house all I carry are my keys and my phone! I order deliveroo and Amazon from my phone watch iplayer and listen to pod casts. I use my lap top for work. IT has been a huge part of my life for about 3 decades as it has been needed at work and now increasingly at home. The discrimination I see is the patronising comments that I think inflict themselves on women in general and especially older women. The cloak of invisibility as someone else said is bloody annoying

AuntieE My husband was deaf, had a cochlear implant eventually. Our GP always addresses the floor when speaking so fir my DH impossible to try and make sense if what was being said. On one occasion my husband used an App that recorded and translated speech, approved by GP. On showing the GP what tge App had interpreted his speech to be he was astounded, complete garbage. From then on I had to accompany my DH on any visit. Not enough staff to sit in and attempt to decipher what was being said. All very well if you have someone to go with you. The GP was English born and bred. Tgere are situations when the world just does not accommodate everyone.

Jess20

I think we're not listened to when we use health services, 10 months to diagnose a tendon rupture which, due to my age I assume, several practitioners, including GP and physiotherapist, had decided was only osteoarthritis. My own understanding of my body was ignored and it was assumed I had a common condition that affected older people and can be treated with sympathy and paracetamol, despite the fact that I was hopping around on crutches and saying it was an injury. I am not alone amongst my circle of friends in having been fobbed off, one even had a heart problem which needed surgery but was told it was imaginary! Access to investigations seems to be harder for older women in particular. I have started to be very vocal about it when I think it's discriminatory.

A friend with a poorly husband said last week she felt ignored by hospital medical staff when trying to explain what had happened.

I hate being called “ dear”.

I have a friend ,he's 73, refused to change his phone for an up to date one. An old Nokia he could only use for calls. I lent him and old smart phone for a few months and now he's got a Samsung with all the bells and whistles.
He still doesn't like online banking tho. And I do understand some of the trust issues with that, especially with so.much fraud and scams going around.

The constant blaming of all the current societies ills on us. The statement that life is so much harder now!

Us older folks save for what we wanted struggled with 17.5% mortgage rates, did not demand fitted carpets, new cars, money to feed/look after our own children, modern tech. but now we are to blame.

4allweknow

AuntieE My husband was deaf, had a cochlear implant eventually. Our GP always addresses the floor when speaking so fir my DH impossible to try and make sense if what was being said. On one occasion my husband used an App that recorded and translated speech, approved by GP. On showing the GP what tge App had interpreted his speech to be he was astounded, complete garbage. From then on I had to accompany my DH on any visit. Not enough staff to sit in and attempt to decipher what was being said. All very well if you have someone to go with you. The GP was English born and bred. Tgere are situations when the world just does not accommodate everyone.

I can really understand this. I actually had an ENT consultant who was looking at and speaking to his comp

Posted too soon. The ENT consultant was speaking to and looking at his computer, which was at a ninety degree angle from my face. I say speaking, but mumbling would be a better description. An ENT consultant, for goodness' sake, who, of all people should have been aware of how to speak to someone with a hearing problem. I have grown in confidence and assertiveness over the years and politely told him that he needed to face me as l am deaf.

Musicgirl

Posted too soon. The ENT consultant was speaking to and looking at his computer, which was at a ninety degree angle from my face. I say speaking, but mumbling would be a better description. An ENT consultant, for goodness' sake, who, of all people should have been aware of how to speak to someone with a hearing problem. I have grown in confidence and assertiveness over the years and politely told him that he needed to face me as l am deaf.

Absolutely! re the facing you.

I don't think people necessarily realise that they need to do so. My, largely deaf, father did say at one point that I needed to face him when talking to him and "not mumble". The thought hadnt occurred to me - but I accepted it was fair enough to face him and speak clearly - so that he could lip-read what I was saying.

Yes we must refuse to be talked over, ignored, "deared", mumbled at etc. We must say something. At the time. Not stew over it. Politely of course. We must practice "would you repeat that" "let me write that down". "And your name is?"

Carry a notebook. Write down instructions for how to do any IT related thing so you know next time. We must be prepared. We must dig our heels in if what we are being told is not correct. We are allowing discrimination...... I must take my own advice.

@CariadAgain , I think you are right that many people don't realise that they must let a deaf person see your face and, like you, do so once made aware. However, one might expect an ENT consultant, of all people, to know how to speak to someone with hearing difficulties.

Musicgirl

@CariadAgain , I think you are right that many people don't realise that they must let a deaf person see your face and, like you, do so once made aware. However, one might expect an ENT consultant, of all people, to know how to speak to someone with hearing difficulties.

Yep....very much their job to know this. I would be willing to bet that there isn't an element in their training of "Put in earplugs or the like and spend a day just going about your business to see what it's like to be Deaf for a Day". It would be very useful.

It's hard to u persuade how someone in their, say early it's can be unfamiliar with computers and the Internet. By around 2000 most workplaces used computers, these people would have been in their mid fifties.

Understand not persuade...durr

Charleygirl5

I would love to know how my smartphone works but I have nobody to teach me. Not having any family. I am more tech-savvy than my friends, as I order online and do online banking. I am partially sighted due to Macular and deaf because of a benign brain tumour, but I do try.

I have googled locally for classes but no joy.

You can get special smart phones with large print icons and blue tooth connections to hearing aids etc. Age uk has advice on this

Nanny27

It's hard to u persuade how someone in their, say early it's can be unfamiliar with computers and the Internet. By around 2000 most workplaces used computers, these people would have been in their mid fifties.

By 2001, more than half of all workers were using computers on the job, with internet access and email being the most common applications.

Beyond Basic Tasks:
While some tasks remained paper-based, the ability to search for documents electronically and store data digitally became increasingly important.

That is AI.

So only about half of workers, and I remember having to book a slot on the shared office computer linked to the internet, which was annoying as I sometimes had a lot of research to do.

Nanny27

It's hard to u persuade how someone in their, say early it's can be unfamiliar with computers and the Internet. By around 2000 most workplaces used computers, these people would have been in their mid fifties.

That’s always my argument. Being old myself naturally I know a lot of old people. When they come up with this argument I ask them how old they were when mobile phones came to the market. Spring chickens 😂

If only about 50% of workers were using computers in 2000 and not all people were working anyway that reduces the percentage of the population.

We were using a PC at home btw, we are not dinosaurs. However, some aspects of modern technology really are best ignored!