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Thoughts on tipping in restaurants

(98 Posts)
Moii Mon 28-Jul-25 14:57:01

I was eating out on Saturday evening the bill of £56 included a 10% service charge, I'm not keen on this I think it should be optional but I always pay it if it's on there, we handed over £60 in cash and waited and waited for the £4 change and then asked for it as we were wanting to go.. The waiter looked very surprised we actually wanted our change, I didn't think I should have to explain myself but said you've already put 10% service charge on and took my change. I felt quite awkward and not sure I'll go back. The question is was that I being unreasonable wanting the change?

Oreo Tue 29-Jul-25 18:56:09

I tip if there’s no added service charge.

Mt61 Tue 29-Jul-25 18:59:16

I don’t tip if a service charge has been added.

Grammaretto Tue 29-Jul-25 19:03:19

It's that having to opt out that I disagree with. I was paying by card today in Lidl and I was invited to press a button to give to charity.
Because I like to choose who I donate to, I didn't but inevitably felt mean.

My American cousin has been staying with me and twice I took her out to dinner and she paid! I was about to leave a suitable tip but she had already plonked a £20 note on the tray. The waiter looked happy 😊 he was charming.

Desdemona Tue 29-Jul-25 20:03:07

We shouldn't have tips, service charges or anything else!

Pay the staff a decent wage and have done with it.

Chaitriona Tue 29-Jul-25 22:02:29

I think it is difficult for restaurants to make a profit at the moment. Quite a few have closed in Edinburgh. Luckily my husband always deals with tips but I am anxious that he should leave a reasonable amount. I think it is now a bit more than ten per cent as someone above has said. I don't like the system but I can't understand the argument that it is all right not to give a tip because the staff should be paid a proper wage. They should. But if they are not, they are not. I would feel mean depriving a low paid worker in this way on some point of supposed principle.

madeleine45 Wed 30-Jul-25 02:42:19

The money I have has been hard earned and my pension means that going out for a meal is a rare occurance. I decide what I chose to do with my money and no one else. So if I decide to go out for a meal, I always expect to include a tip to the staff. BUT it is my money and I will decide, give a bit extra when I feel they have been exceptionally helpful, and like to thank them verbally too for their efforts. I dislike the automatic addition of 10%, for several reasons. Firstly how do I know that the staff actually get that tip money and how is it divided between kitchen and waiting staff? If the service has been poor, why should I be paying them extra? It seems to me that in those rare cases I should not be paying and in addition should be deducting 10% for the poor service. To think that you should pay even more over the odds with your change is absolutely not acceptable and is quite cheeky in my view.
Also it is clear that some people have plenty of money and have no problem spending extra and implying that other people are mean. I most certainly would not expect to give another £4 on top of the tip etc, and would probably not return to that restaurant if I felt I was being manipulated into giving more. However, as an ex teacher and being someone who will not be shoved about by anyone, I would certainly stick to my guns and tell them in no uncertain terms that I was waiting for my change. It is my hard earned money and I will not be manoevered by anyone into doing something I do not want to!!! To me , as it was meant to be, a tip was for effort over and above the work that they are paid for.

Maggiemaybe Wed 30-Jul-25 07:10:07

mokryna

I was in Cuba, with a Canadian couple many years ago, we were told no tipping. However, at the breakfast buffet where the fried eggs were being cooked, I noticed that the visiting Americans and Canadians were all tipping the cook when he served up their order.
The Cubains who had contact with these foreigners where well off considering the ones gardening in the hotel grounds.

Yes, our guide in Cuba told us not to tip anyone, including him. smile He told us that he earned more than his father, a hard-working GP, and that those in the hospitality sector, being given tips by tourists, were very well off compared to other people.

GrannyIvy Wed 30-Jul-25 07:30:56

It does seem to have become the norm now to add a 10% service charge. I will always pay this if the food and service is good. However we were out with family 6 of us together last week and the service and attitude of staff was poor and the food very mediocre. I paid the bill and asked that the service charge be removed. I felt embarrassed doing this but feel I will only tip where it is deserved.

Bluedaisy Wed 30-Jul-25 09:38:47

I’m afraid I often ask for the service charge to be taken off is as my right, I then proceed to tip in cash what I deem appropriate. Sometimes if we all go out as a family and the bill is over £100 the service charge on that would not be what I’d tip. Plus my view is if service charge is just added on by the owner of the restaurant then you can bet your life the owner keeps most of the service charge if automatically goes on the bill! I prefer to tip the server that has dealt with me and I’ve actually had a couple of waitresses thank me quietly for doing that. Everyone is well within your rights to take the service charge off the bill.

Dontcallmelove Wed 30-Jul-25 09:59:39

I can never understand the logic of tipping a percentage of the total. How does the price of my bottle of wine differ in the service I receive? A bottle of Pinot Grigio may add £3 to my bill, a good Sauvignon Blanc perhaps £7. How was it served any differently to deserve the additional cost?

NotSpaghetti Wed 30-Jul-25 10:28:04

I always ask where the tip goes before I do anything.
I like to tip the waiting staff if they are good.

I was a waitress for many summer holidays. It's nice to be appreciated for doing a job well.

NotSpaghetti Wed 30-Jul-25 10:33:09

Last year there were big legal changes in UK law.
It was make illegal for employers to withhold tips from staff.

They had to have a way of distributing the money that was "transparent" but I think they were allowed to take an "admin" fee. I think it came in in July. I noticed it was ahead of the summer holiday.

NotSpaghetti Wed 30-Jul-25 10:37:52

JenniferEccles good serving staff are the difference between a good meal and a great one. They anticipate your needs without being obvious, they replenish, replace and know the menu inside out. They talk if you want them to and don't if you don't. They are normally locals so are great sources of information if you are on holiday.

I love good waiting staff.

henetha Wed 30-Jul-25 10:43:43

We had a family meal out last night, and then a whispered conversation about how, and how much, to tip. My son eventually went and paid and I'm not sure how much he added to the bill.
This whole subject is always tricky. I wish the very nice waiter was better paid so that we didn't have this dilemma.

farmgran Wed 30-Jul-25 12:36:39

I'm so thankful we don't do tipping in NZ. I've never noticed a service charge either!

Mt61 Wed 30-Jul-25 13:54:00

This is why I have a tin of pound coins & put a fiver in the side of my bag, if we have lunch out.

pably15 Wed 30-Jul-25 14:01:49

keepingquiet, asking for change is not petty at all, if you had bought something in a shop or supermarket ,would you not have expected change, I certainly would have asked for it.

pably15 Wed 30-Jul-25 14:05:10

isn't there a minimum wage for waiting staff,

pably15 Wed 30-Jul-25 14:13:46

Madeleine45,
well said 100%

NotSpaghetti Wed 30-Jul-25 15:35:31

For my mother-in-law's 101st birthday we took the whole family (17 of us including children I think) to a lovely family Italian restaurant nearby and tipped them 10%. We came away and really thought about it and realised how much extra effort they had made to make the evening extra special.

We felt we had massively under-tipped and had intended to go back with a "bonus" tip the following week but circumstances worked against us... Last week however we ate there again (3 months later) and we tipped the "missing" tip explaing why.

Sometimes you just know in your heart what is right.
I hope some of the original staff got a bonus as it was well deserved.

dotpocka Wed 30-Jul-25 15:49:33

i do but give cash to the person took care of me

David49 Wed 30-Jul-25 16:11:55

Taking the service charge off in principle has consequences, the server then has to explain why, if you then give them cash the boss will want it put into the tips pot.
Some places are unscrupulous and don’t pay the service charge to staff but in the UK the minimum wage applies to every employee in theory. With many casual employees that very difficult to check up on and enforce.