The late psychologist, Dorothy Rowe n her book, The Successful Self defined the respect/affection conundrum as a defintion of Introversion/Extroversion and to work out where you were on the spectrum she asked the following question:
If you are in a situation where you need to make a decision that will affect other people, where the right decision will make you unpopular with your colleagues and the wrong one will gain everyone's approval. Which decision is your instinctive reaction?
Now, this is a very rough ready definition and many other circumstances come into decsion making, but it is your instinctive first reaction, that she is looking at.
My first reaction is always to opt for the right decision and not compromise, which makes me an introvert and probably puts me in the 'respect' over liking corner - that decision pushed towards the respect side even more by the circumstances of my younger life.
DH, in comparison will always go for a group response, to stay within the group and have their support, which pushes him towards being an extrovert, again this response shaped by his life experience.
But as Dorothy Rowe points out people are scattered along the line from introversion and extroversion, not all are at the extremes. And, as she always says, people at both ends of the spectrum may make the same decision, but for different reasons.
One person may make a decision because they want the comfort of the group around them, the other person may make the same decision because having the group in their side could be advantagious when another decision comes up later, rather than them wanting the comfort of the group.
I doubt anyone is respect at all cost or group support at all costs. it will depend on the circumstances at the time.
