Kidults in Supermarkets

The world is so miserable that I can't get upset at kids having fun. As long as the weren't running into people or knocking things over I'd just think how nice that a dad is so engaged with his kids. This sounds like something my late MIL would have been outraged by and I don't want to turn into her.

Allira

^The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look"^

I'm not sure that giving a crying baby a Look would pacify it in the slightest.

Do you have children CariadAgain? Babies cry for many reasons, toddlers have tantrums.

Libraries aren't the silent places they used to be. The Mum probably brought her baby for a group which involves singing, movement etc and may have been embarrassed by her crying baby without a disapproving older woman glaring at them.

Terrible if we can't show a bit of support to a young mum. We know nothing if her circumstances and as you say lots of activities in libraries cause noise, you should hear the racket when it'd knit and natter at my local library and thats adults not babies.

Someone once said to me years ago. “Not everyone is going to like your kids” So true.
But on another slant - they were having a bit of fun. Is it like that every time you go there?
Maybe lighten up.

Babs03

@butterandjam
Oh that feeble ‘don’t do that’ usually said whilst mum or dad scroll on their phones or
simply don’t check to actually see if their child has actually stopped what they were doing. I also will offer a firm but polite ‘don’t do that dear’ whilst keeping eye contact with the child. At this point negligent parents usually pay attention and pull their child away.

Poor young parents wrong if they are playing with their kids wrong if they dare to look at their phones.

Allira

^The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look"^

I'm not sure that giving a crying baby a Look would pacify it in the slightest.

Do you have children CariadAgain? Babies cry for many reasons, toddlers have tantrums.

Libraries aren't the silent places they used to be. The Mum probably brought her baby for a group which involves singing, movement etc and may have been embarrassed by her crying baby without a disapproving older woman glaring at them.

Shouldnt think giving A Look to a baby would make any difference.

On the other hand - you could have read my sentence the way I meant it - it was the mother that I looked at and not the baby.

....and nope.....mother and baby were there in the main part of the library and it looked as if she was there for book-choosing too and not an "activity". It was a decent size library (in a city) and not one so small any "activity" would have been anywhere near. I know what the smaller ones are like - because that's all there is where I live now - but I'm used to what a lot here would call a big library. It was my size of library it happened in.

So that's made even clearer the two things you misinterpreted...

Glad I don’t live where some of you do ! Can’t say I have come across that sort of behaviour with one exception- aircraft. Something about planes obviously upsets some kids and they in turn upset everyone sitting nearby. Stuck with the little bs for hours often.

My own definition of size of library I'm used to - in case anyone hasn't clicked I'm talking about a library a lot bigger than many will be used to:

www.discover.librariesunlimited.org.uk/-/exeterlibrary#/

Link not working - Exeter Library, Castle Street, Exeter.

I always feel sorry for young mums with crying babies. In a library, gallery or museum I think this would be particularly true. ... How lovely that the mum is starting the little one on this road to imagination and learning.
I have offered to carry stuff, push the buggy, hold something, whilst they deal with the squirming one or whatever... I might roll an eye and smile ruefully - as I remember that "oh no" feeling.
Just saying "do you need a hand" might stop someone else feeling a failure.

I am annoyed with some parents to be honest - especially those with school age children who they are basically ignoring - (and the anti-social ones who are chasing about dangerously in public places such as shops).

Maybe the mother was in the main part of the library before or after an activity in another part of the library. Maybe she just needed to be out of the house, maybe she was homeless and living in a horrible b&b and the library was a safe space that didn't cost money she didn't have. Best to try not to judge.

This kind of behaviour isn’t confined to children! In my local supermarket some of the “regulars” can be most annoying. Leaving a trolley in the middle of the aisle and wandering off, standing for ages in front of a display unaware that others wish to access something, knocking things off a shelf and leaving them on the floor etc. The worst is the elderly man on his mobility scooter who zooms around at top speed and uses a horn to make people move for him!

NotSpaghetti

I always feel sorry for young mums with crying babies. In a library, gallery or museum I think this would be particularly true. ... How lovely that the mum is starting the little one on this road to imagination and learning.
I have offered to carry stuff, push the buggy, hold something, whilst they deal with the squirming one or whatever... I might roll an eye and smile ruefully - as I remember that "oh no" feeling.
Just saying "do you need a hand" might stop someone else feeling a failure.

I am annoyed with some parents to be honest - especially those with school age children who they are basically ignoring - (and the anti-social ones who are chasing about dangerously in public places such as shops).

Well said, NotSpaghetti
I can remember that feeling and getting hot and flustered with embarrassment. A kind word or offer of help is so much better than disapproving looks.

CariadAgain

My own definition of size of library I'm used to - in case anyone hasn't clicked I'm talking about a library a lot bigger than many will be used to:

www.discover.librariesunlimited.org.uk/-/exeterlibrary#/

Just clicked and had a look at the Facebook page too.

What a vibrant place it looks - full of activities and joyous things for children and adults alike. A real community hub where all are welcome.

theworriedwell

Maybe the mother was in the main part of the library before or after an activity in another part of the library. Maybe she just needed to be out of the house, maybe she was homeless and living in a horrible b&b and the library was a safe space that didn't cost money she didn't have. Best to try not to judge.

Best to try not to judge.
Absolutely.

My daughter would love someone to challenge her husband. This sort of behaviour goes against everything she stands for but he just won’t stop. Once he has the children hyped up he then gets cross when they carry it on. He’s the same at family events and we all get cross about it. He’s a good father and husband in many ways but not in this. The funny thing is that his parents were super strict so my daughter thinks he is trying not to be the same.

That is almost certainly the case Icanhandthemback!
Sympathies 🙄

But don't we all try not to be our parents? ...Even those of us who had great ones?

These days some parents want a quiet life and allow their children (not kids, they are progeny of goats) to run wild so they don't have to chastise them.

Most of us are going to be the elderly one day, hopefully not disabled and not having balance problems. Maybe you will become disabled in the future and I expect you would hope people are respectful and not looking at you with contempt! People both young and old can be intolerant but babies can't help being uncomfortable and the elderly can't help being a bit slower etc. Just be patient (I do agree with the children and adults who are being overactive tho)

Interesting story about the little girls crashing into the pile of boxes. My first reaction was, well done the video woman.
But I'm just wondering about videoing children without a parent's consent. Could there have been a problem there?

Screeching children are one thing but a small crying baby is a completely different matter! and we have all been there and if a baby is crying then God help mums as if a baby screams then it's unhappy or miserable. I Have gone up to crying babies trying to pacify them, and yes I am that person.

theworriedwell

Babs03

@butterandjam
Oh that feeble ‘don’t do that’ usually said whilst mum or dad scroll on their phones or
simply don’t check to actually see if their child has actually stopped what they were doing. I also will offer a firm but polite ‘don’t do that dear’ whilst keeping eye contact with the child. At this point negligent parents usually pay attention and pull their child away.

Poor young parents wrong if they are playing with their kids wrong if they dare to look at their phones.

Yes but there’s a time and a place for everything. Chasing a child around a busy supermarket is childish and potentially dangerous. He could have taken the child to the park if he wanted to chase her.

I've had a mother looking apologetic in the supermarket as her child throws a wobbler. I just say "No need to apologise. I'm just thinking how glad I am it's not mine now, but I know how you feel!" We've all been there with an unconsolable baby. Of course allowing children to run wild is a different thing altogether!

Romola

Interesting story about the little girls crashing into the pile of boxes. My first reaction was, well done the video woman.
But I'm just wondering about videoing children without a parent's consent. Could there have been a problem there?

It’s not actually illegal to video anyone in public, including children.
I think it should be!

Well it takes all sorts to make a world, doesn't it?

The latest I saw was when a vhild picked a football out one of those big bins, bounced the ball about then started to kick it from one end of an aisle to another. His mother just stood chatting with another female, oblivious to what was going on in other aisles. The child about 8/9 years even started shouting at folk to watch out when he kicked the ball. No staff other than check-out to be seen.