People who pretend they don't know you.

Another thing I think is rude is when your friends friend is included in something and they talk exclusively to your friend and ignore you.
My friend often took me with her when visiting a lady who was an old friend. In a case like that I think it's polite to include the stranger in the chat and show some interest in who they are even if it's fake.

When I was much, much younger as well as my full-time job I did part-time bar work to supplement my income.
There were certainly times when my customers saw me outside of the pub where I worked and sometimes some of them didn't recognise me out of context.
I didn't (and don't) think it was rudeness.

I suffered a RTA resulting in a fractured skull when I was a teenager, and that was the last time I could find my way anywhere after just going a few times, or recognising anyone. When we moved house it took me 2 weeks to find which bedroom I slept in! I've probably lost quite a few acquaintances who could have become friends by walking straight past them in the street. I don't tell many people as if I do they tend to treat me as if I'm cognitively challenged as well. I'm not TG and I did score 100% in a maths exam at college. It's just my visual memory that is poor so it takes me longer than normal to recognise people and places. Satnav has helped a lot with the latter
OP they might not recognise you and have a similar problem to me.

Interesting thread! Its good to hear that so many of you also dont recognise people sometimes for whatever reason.

To the poster who asked what I would do if a neighbour stopped me in the street and asked intrusive personal questions. I have as little to do with neighbours as possible as I dont have the headspace for them. I would probably put on my terse teacher voice and respond that "I dont discuss my finances with random people".

People can fail to recognise you for several reasons such as poor distance vision/being busy and/or distracted. I would not take it to heart. People lead busy lives and may simply be absorbed in what they are doing.

In the days when I was still pretty mobile I often wandered around the city center in a world of my own. I would be absorbed in the goods on display in the stores and took little account of random people going about their business.

One day I must have inadvertantly "blamked" my NDN in Boots. She made a tremendous fuss about it, raising her voice and shouting "Good heavens Im your neighbour". I remember it now because she was making such an exhibition of herself.

I told her that she was just a random person who happened to live next door and that I never thought about her, so why should I recognise her when I was busy with important things?

Looking back I now realise she was already exhibiting the initial symptoms of dementia from which she now suffers. People often begin to lose their emotional and or social filter before they actually exhibit memory problems.

But it not that we don’t want to talk that’s a different thing altogether Goodafternoon it’s that we don’t always know who we are talking to!!!

Nearly twins oldenproud ’

I once had a friend who would pretend to be on her mobile phone if she did not want to talk to someone. I got dumped a few years ago because I would no longer do her bidding but sadly she can't walk anymore so I doubt I will get the mobile phone treatment. What comes around goes around.

BlueBelle

*I don’t think the two things go together - they don't for me, anyway* Oldnproud
Looks like they do for some people ….taken from the nhs website

recognising emotions on people's faces ( that’s definitely not a problem for me )
recognising people's age and gender (again no problem)
recognising characters and following plots in TV programmes or films (yes often a problem I don’t recognise actors when they are in different roles)
recognising other things, such as cars or animals ( no idea what car is what,…. animals fine)
finding your way around (YES big time)

Yes, I accept that they go together for some people, but not for me.

Like you, I don't have a problem reading people's emotions, either from their face or other clues (even though I have a lot of autistic characteristics too).
No problem recognising their age and gender either
And I too have problems recognising characters and plots in films - though I don't really have a problem with long-running series / soap operas, where I have learned gradually who is who, a bit like I did with my fellow classmates back in school.
In fact of the things you list above, the only one I don't share with you is the problem finding my way around.

Was and river. Fat fingers.

Another odd thing I notice about friends and some of my family is they never know the name of any streets. If I say the shop is in Castle Street or near B and Q they will ask where is that.
I wonder if it's because of sat nav. My son was taking me to my hospital appointment and I knew there wad a large carpark beside the ri et because we often passed it. Instead he headed down back streets as it was quicker and ended up on a cul de sac behind the hospital where there was no parking and a very steep stairway to enter the building.

I get a lift each week to an evening class. I get picked up in an easy to stop loop of the main street. I have to peer into every car that stops in case I get into the wrong car. I opened the door of one car and started to climb in until I realised the driver was a rather scared pizza delivery man.
The cars are both blue and it was dark.

silverlining48

Oldfrill Thanks fir the link, it’s interesting and gives the problem some if us have, an airing, which helps more people understand why sometimes people appear not to recognise others.
I have just signed onto the Bournemouth university research study.

Glad to have helped, good luck with the research . Spread the word - it can be a very isolating condition.

Oldfrill Thanks fir the link, it’s interesting and gives the problem some if us have, an airing, which helps more people understand why sometimes people appear not to recognise others.
I have just signed onto the Bournemouth university research study.

I don’t think the two things go together - they don't for me, anyway Oldnproud
Looks like they do for some people ….taken from the nhs website

recognising emotions on people's faces ( that’s definitely not a problem for me )
recognising people's age and gender (again no problem)
recognising characters and following plots in TV programmes or films (yes often a problem I don’t recognise actors when they are in different roles)
recognising other things, such as cars or animals ( no idea what car is what,…. animals fine)
finding your way around (YES big time)

Asking about grandchildren is hurtful and very personal. I don't mind people asking personal questions once we have built up a friendship.

I have wonderful neighbours either side but two really nosy ones that I just ended up blanking. Some people don't have emotional intelligence I suppose.

I will use those answers in future.

It has been said that rejection is protection.

Oddly enough, one of my daughters is a super recogniser, who’ll remember a face she saw briefly at a railway station months ago!

Yes, I’m face blind, as was my dad. I don’t recognise people if I see them out of context, and have no chance whatsoever of placing someone I worked with years ago. I’ve had so many embarrassing conversations, trying desperately to recall the person who’s chatting away to me, asking about each of my children by name, when I daren’t even say “And how’s your family?”, because they may not have one! Low points for me have been not recognising my own grandsons, who I see at least once a week. One I was picking up from school - he was left standing by the teacher till all his classmates had gone, which is when I knew it must be him. He was wearing a new blue coat and I was used to him being in a red one.

I just smile vaguely at everyone when I’m out and about, and hope for the best. I’m sure people are offended by my not stopping to chat, but there’s not a thing I can do about it. It is a bit disheartening when after so many posts from people explaining face blindness and its effect on their lives, posters on here are still calling other people weird and rude for not recognising them. Perhaps we should wear badges!

BlueBelle

Supernana1

I suffer from face blindness. I always had it, but it's only a few years ago I discovered it is an actual condition. I thought it was only me.

I've had chats with people on the street and walked away no wiser as to who they were. It's particularly bad if I meet people out of their usual place, or out of their work uniform. I'm sure some people think I'm just rude, but I'm not - honestly.

Another thing I can't manage is finding my way to a new place. I remember once having a new job a few miles from home, and I'm sure in the first month I must have travelled there by about six different routes. I couldn't manage to stick a route in my head. I'm the only person I know who can get completely lost with a SatNav.

It's awkward and embarrassing, but I've got used to it.

Supernanny1 that is me exactly do you think they go together? I always joke and say I can get lost coming out my own house ( nearly)
I remember when I was 14/15 I had a Saturday job cleaning caravans and you had the same small group (I think4/5 vans) to clean each shift ….I ALWAYS without fail took the wrong turning out of the last caravan and ended up somewhere quite different!
I also remember a festival, camping at night I took my lamp to go to the loo after dark and had absolutely no idea how to get back I was really panicking walking around getting in a bigger and bigger muddle, eventually I started to call to my friend and after a few minutes got a call back
So I’ve obviously always been like it, I have to think about left and right too and imagine my writing hand
But faces are the worst because it’s embarrassing
A couple of years ago a man came in my shop and asked for me by name they called me over and as far as I could see I d never seen him before and as there was another lady by the same name I said ‘oh sorry you ve got the wrong …….’ he said ‘no I haven’t we were on such and such course together don’t you remember me !!!!

I don't think the two things go together - they don't for me, anyway.

As long as I pay attention (ie., don't just blindly follow the person with me) I am quite good at remembering routes, whereas my husband who is good at recognising people is useless at remembering how to get from A to B.
But no matter how much attention I pay to a new face, I am still very unlikely to recognise them again unless they are in the same place and wearing preferably wearing similar clothing.

A memory of starting secondary school has come back to me. About a week to ten days after we started, the form master handed one of my classmates the pile of exercise books that had just been marked, asking her to hand them out. I watched in amazement as she managed after only a little hesitation to give each one to the correct child, as despite hearing the register every day (possibly twice), I could only have put names to faces for a handful of them. That was when I first realized that perhaps I had a 'problem'.
I did come to recognise them all in the end though, and luckily we went through almost the whole of our time at that school in the same form group, so at least I didn't have to repeat that experience every single September.

Supernana1

I suffer from face blindness. I always had it, but it's only a few years ago I discovered it is an actual condition. I thought it was only me.

I've had chats with people on the street and walked away no wiser as to who they were. It's particularly bad if I meet people out of their usual place, or out of their work uniform. I'm sure some people think I'm just rude, but I'm not - honestly.

Another thing I can't manage is finding my way to a new place. I remember once having a new job a few miles from home, and I'm sure in the first month I must have travelled there by about six different routes. I couldn't manage to stick a route in my head. I'm the only person I know who can get completely lost with a SatNav.

It's awkward and embarrassing, but I've got used to it.

Supernanny1 that is me exactly do you think they go together? I always joke and say I can get lost coming out my own house ( nearly)
I remember when I was 14/15 I had a Saturday job cleaning caravans and you had the same small group (I think4/5 vans) to clean each shift ….I ALWAYS without fail took the wrong turning out of the last caravan and ended up somewhere quite different!
I also remember a festival, camping at night I took my lamp to go to the loo after dark and had absolutely no idea how to get back I was really panicking walking around getting in a bigger and bigger muddle, eventually I started to call to my friend and after a few minutes got a call back
So I’ve obviously always been like it, I have to think about left and right too and imagine my writing hand
But faces are the worst because it’s embarrassing
A couple of years ago a man came in my shop and asked for me by name they called me over and as far as I could see I d never seen him before and as there was another lady by the same name I said ‘oh sorry you ve got the wrong …….’ he said ‘no I haven’t we were on such and such course together don’t you remember me !!!!

I have never been asked if I had a mortgage etc, that is rude. I would reply, with a smile, why have you, when she answers say, say, nice got to be going. Then avoid. If asked where I am going and I don't know them and it's personal, , I would say an appointment and I am late. I have had to say on occasion, I don't discuss that. I had to say it to a neighbour when she asked why my grandchildren didn't visit, I felt quite choked. up.

barmcake

Forgive me for side tracking a little. What do you do when neighbours, acquaintances ask personal questions; i.e.

Where are you going? (me), to the doctors, (them): why what's wrong with you? or
(them): do you have a mortgage? (me): no. (them): did you buy your house outright? and so on.

I'm like a rabbit caught in the headlights and answer but regret it afterwards. How would you answer without being rude?

My neighbours/ acquaintances have never asked me questions like this.

Perhaps the only one might be ‘where are you off to.?’ if they saw me out walking, to which I would say, ‘oh, just for a walk/shopping’ or similar.

Never been asked if I had a mortgage, I would probably say with a smile, ‘Why, have you?’

Forgive me for side tracking a little. What do you do when neighbours, acquaintances ask personal questions; i.e.

Where are you going? (me), to the doctors, (them): why what's wrong with you? or
(them): do you have a mortgage? (me): no. (them): did you buy your house outright? and so on.

I'm like a rabbit caught in the headlights and answer but regret it afterwards. How would you answer without being rude?

Pix5

I knew a lady I did charity work for. She was my supervisor. She blanked me in the supermarket and again in the local beauty spot everyone goes to. I emailed her and asked her why, she said she wasn’t aware she had. Sorry, but that was a lie. I will do the same to her if I see her again, silly woman.

It's highly likely she unknowingly suffers from Prosopagnosia (face blindness) a recognised neurological condition. It would be useful if you could send her this NHS link and also recommend she googles "faceblind UK" for further information and support. Awareness of this condition is so lacking that many sufferers are unaware and non-sufferers simply have no understanding of how awful it can be to live with. Thank you so much.
Here's the NHS link
Prosopagnosia (face blindness) - NHS share.google/IpsQcSUHPVh8ILOFu

I agree with keepingquiet I have done it myself and been surprised when someone rushes up and hugs me when I haven’t even noticed them. I seem to attract hugs 😀I wouldn’t worry about it, seriously.