Need more purpose

Sorry to read this. Shoulders are so taken for granted yet following injury or surgery we begin to notice are vital they are and realise how long they take to heal. It will really test your patience but you will get there.

You could go to see your GP or have a word with your physio? I am sure there are so many things waiting for you, but you have to think outside the box a little.

You haven't mentioned friends or family- are they aware of how you are feeling?

My go to would be to contact a few people to meet and have coffee with, go to the cinema or theatre or similar.

For the insomnia I use an app called Get Sleepy which I get on Spotify. It is very effective for me and is great for shutting out those intrusive thoughts we get that prevent us from sleeping.

I am sure there will be other ideas others will offer- but those are just mine.

New hobbies maybe? Playing bridge online is good and you can do it in the comfort of your own home in the warm/dry! I don't fret about nights with poor sleep any more, now that I don't have to get up for work. I just read a book or watch TV.

Volunteering doesn’t always have to be physical it could be reading with children, helping someone learn the language, being on a phone line just to name a few

Helping children to read at your local primary school would be great for you whilst you recover.
How about a Walking for Health Group if there is one near you.

There's so many lonely people out here, but no way of connecting, ive tried woman's institute, u3a, not for me, we could do with a few more sites for coffee mornings, I'm from RCT, anyone near by, feel free to say hello

Sadie, forgive my ignorance but what doe RCT stand for?
I despair of all the initials sometimes
Thanks in advance

As some PPs have said you could offer phone support, befriending maybe. In some areas you can read out and record books or newspapers for visually impaired people. Search volunteering near me for regional opportunities.
For sleep I recommend a SnoozeBand. Connects to your phone via Bluetooth and you can set to turn off after an hour. There are lots of ready made sleep playlists available and BBC Sounds have some including the Sleeping Forecast. Boots also sell natural sleep remedies including room and pillow sprays.

I'm sorry you're feeling down, Sallywally . Has your shoulder replacement got more healing to do, or is it now a question of live with it as it is?
What exercises has your physio recommended to regain fitness? Im guessing that it's important to you.
I completely agree with ddraig123 about not getting stressed about sleep. If you don't have to get up and go to work, it really doesn't matter. If I find myself awake and mourning the loss of my DH, I sometimes get up and cook something for the next day, then go back to bed and sleep until later. but no later than 8.30. And I've read some quite difficult books between 3 and 4 am, maybe with Radio 3 on quietly too.
As for getting going with voluntary work, truly I don't understand why you think you have to be fit? The world is your oyster apart, I suppose, from sports-related roles. Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Can you find a book club you can join? Or some other activities that are not strenuous?

I realise knitting is probably not advisable at the moment, but sewing might be, if it interests you.

And most of us have long-deferred tasks like updating, or discarding photo albums, old correspondance etc. which we have put off. You may not find these sort of tasks particularly enjoyable, but you will probably feel very pleased with yourself once you have done them.

The Chatty Cafe Scheme is nationwide, an hour a week in a cafe for people to meet to chat over a coffee, either as a leader or a participant. Or there might be a local church or organisation that supports refugees and asylum seekers to improve their English. Both are sitting down and just need you to be interested in talking to people. In large towns churches often have free, or cheap, lunchtime concerts where students and/or professional classical musicians perform.
I hope you find something to cheer you up very soon.

Sorry. ..Rhonda cynon taff...south Wales

Sorry you are feeling less than well.
I agree with AuntieE with regard to her last paragraph. I love a good clear-out, but you possibly don’t, but as AuntieE said, you will feel good when it’s done. Then, when you are fit again, you can do fun things without worrying that things need doing around the house!
Hope your shoulder soon settles and you adapt to what you can and can’t do. 🌺

Hi, it’s just north of Cardiff.

Libraries often need volunteers, but perhaps not yet
School readers is really great fun
Not sure where you are, but Girl Scouts/Guides are always short of people, even on an occasional basis
Schools need invigilators at exam time, and you get paid enough for your expenses and it is not all the time
www.gov.uk/volunteering

Sorry to hear this. It’s always a shock to our system to find we are less than capable of what we previously were.
Having initially found this depressing, with arthritis induced mobility issues, ive since learned to look for different ways of doing things. Having been a nurse all my life and very active, i now volunteer in my local community library. Theres lots of scope beyond stamping books. I’ve learnt computer skills, mix with all age groups, have the choice to commit to additional activities with all age groups and feel some value in life.
Your shoulder will hopefully heal in time and you will become more physically active. Try and see this as an opportunity perhaps; though easier said than done. I wish you well and a speedy recovery

I’m with bluebelle and susieq62 - schools are crying out for volunteers to listen to children read. I do it twice a week in a local junior school and it’s very rewarding. And yes, explore local walking for health groups.

I think this is an interesting post. I’ve been thinking more and more about how we can continue to ‘grow’ as people in the latter years of our life. Even if we are becoming physically less capable, our minds are still hard at work. It’s not just about filling up the time so that we’re not bored - although that certainly part of it. It’s about what we can do that makes us feel that we are still active and valuable members of society.

In some ways, age frees us up - but it’s really hard to work out how to make good use of the years that are left to us. Precious time, and we can’t help but be aware of how it’s running out. I’m increasingly thinking that we don’t really understand how to make good use of this time.

Society has been so youth orientated for a long time, the idea that age is associated with wisdom has rather faded. I’m also aware that many Grans are struggling with their adjustments to their lives that come with retirement or with their partners retiring.

We don’t seem to have the tool kit that we need to plan for aging. We all want to pretend that it’s not going to happen to us. We put it in the ‘too hard box’ and try to keep the lid down, but it keeps popping up!

Volunteering is definitely part of this. I would think about what you are interested in, or what you might be able to contribute. Most towns/cities have organisations that publish all the different volunteering g opportunities. Freegle publishes lists and local Facebook groups often have posts. I am sure there are things that you can find that match your interests, skills and physical capabilities. And try to see this time as an opportunity. I’ll try to find the other thread that ran a little while ago - there were lots of ideas there too.

Are you still reading the posts, Sally?

Great post, Lahlah65 … thank you. There is no easy answer, is there? Sympathy to the OP - hope you find a way through somehow. Please go to the GP to talk about the depression and insomnia x

Had you thought of getting a dog? Great company, and they do cheer you up if you are feeling depressed - and you just have to get out for a walk or 2 every day. If you re-home an older one, they will be eternally grateful and repay you with lots of love and companonship.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way Sallywally., life can be tough on us all sometimes, I know that from experience. Do you know where your nearest Community Hub is, it might be a good place to start. Many have free breakfast or lunch clubs, look for volunteers and can often point you to exercise schemes and volunteering opportunities.
Sadie, this might be an idea for you too. I don't know exactly where in Rhondda you live but why not look at Cynon Linc and see if there is anything there that interests you.

Age concern need befrienders. NHS needs volunteers. schools need volunteers there's also Meetup which has book clubs etc and dining and walking groups.ask at your local volunteers centre too.ask at your local library.Theres also Holiday group's to consider.the choice is endless.

Hi Sallywally1, sorry to hear you're feeling down.
This site is full of friendly helpful posts and I hope you find some comfort from them.
On a personal note, shoulder replacement has been suggested to me as I'm in a lot of pain with arthritis.
I'm having a super scapular nerve block injection in a few weeks, hoping this will give more lasting relief.
Did you try this before surgery?
Also, how are you after surgery, are you feeling any relief?
All best wishes

Susieq62

Helping children to read at your local primary school would be great for you whilst you recover.
How about a Walking for Health Group if there is one near you.

This. Walking groups will start to help you regain your fitness and confidence and meet new people. Also, as suggested, volunteer activities when you feel more fit and more confidence.

You cant do the specific exercises you used to do, but if you can find a trainer or physio that can identify the exercises you CAN do, as well as walking, some confidence will return.

I am a qualified yoga teacher and can think of things you can do to strengthen your core and lower body and anything within your capabilities.

as you know from your own past experience, exercise releases endorphins that help mood, and you can get there x