Unexpected Retirement

That transition from earning money in a professional sense to having to rely on a set amount of money every month was a difficult one for me.

It hit me like a brick that I would no longer be able to earn, and have to rely on a set amount of monry coming in. Even though I have my state pension and a work pension I am not well-off and have had to adjust to living just about within my means, though my savings have depleted significantly too.

More than this though, it took a lot of adjusting to no longer being 'useful', in a professional sense, especially after a life time of building skills and expertise that quite frankly, no one needs outside that career context.
It has taken me more than three years to finally begin to enjoy not having a 'purpose' in that sense, and just to set my own challenges and enjoy the company of the people close to me who don't give a fiddlers fart about what my job used to be.
I find fun now in the simplest of things and can now say that after a long process of adjustment, I feel I am happier than I have ever been before,

Thank you for that response - you articulated perfectly the worry I had about my purpose and it’s reassuring that there is a way through that transition

My DH who had spent his working life on the road/away from home, always planned for early retirement and had a couple of hobbies which spanned most of the year - he couldn’t wait! We’d worked out the financial position, which was doable, as we’d never really been extravagant spenders and had savings.
I think one of his qualities was that he was one of the team - a colleague, not the boss - someone who wouldn’t ask someone to do something he wouldn’t do himself. He had no massive ego which needed massaging, could certainly hold his own, didn’t suffer fools gladly, but was ready to accept being a 56 year old with a totally different lifestyle and agenda.

I retired earlier than I'd expected to, at 57. The biggest hurdle for me was that the increased in the SPA meant that there were fewer women of my age not working, so the people I socialised with (during the day at least) were a decade or so older. Obviously, over time that changed, and now I am at SPA myself. I found plenty to do - I took a course of study for the first couple of years, and did some consultancy work on a very part-time basis until I was 66. I am something of a 'joiner', and tried many local groups to meet new people, as well as starting up a couple.

I agree that psychologically it can be difficult to go from being 'a something' (whatever it is) to 'an ex-something' which can make people feel less relevant. I think the part-time work helps with that transition, but it wears off anyway, and I really like the fact that my retired social circle is very mixed, and it doesn't matter in the slightest what anyone did at work.

Also, you may well find that you spend less than you did at work. You can wear what you like, and don't have to pay for coffee etc unless you want to, or contribute to leaving gifts and baby presents. There will be no commute either, and you can spend longer cooking so might find that your food bills go down.

Finally, try to enjoy pleasing yourself. Not setting the alarm never gets old for me, as does eating when I'm hungry instead of when I can fit it in between other things. And remember that you don't have to leave anything until Saturday . Tuesdays probably work just as well, and are less likely to have queues - that took a while for me to realise .

We were both head-hunted repeatedly throughout our working lives; and that didn't stop after we retired ( early 50s , by design and planning). We picked and chose; worked from home as little or much as we wanted ( and could fit in around all our other intersts and hobbies) .

You will still be a (retired) professional and people will contact you asking you to work for pay. If it suits you to accept something interesting, name your price and terms and don't sell your self cheap. In retirement, time is even more precious. So are your skills.

I retire in three weeks statuary pension and I’m tired. Many years as a nursery teacher. I’m looking forward to it but worry about not having a purpose.

Harris27

I retire in three weeks statuary pension and I’m tired. Many years as a nursery teacher. I’m looking forward to it but worry about not having a purpose.

Retirement is full of surprises ; you're going to discover new purposes you've never thought of before.

Embrace it all; the best is yet to come.

I think the secret is not to take yourself too seriously. You may have been “important” in your work environment but not really in the outside world.

You can now relax, look around and decide what you want to do (or not to do). It took me a year (of doing nothing) after retirement to decide that I wanted to mix more with my local community. I now volunteer at local hospital, help out at the food bank and charity shop. I’ve made many new friends along the way and loving my new life.

I retired early through choice, MrJ is/was self employed, we lived abroad then for a few years, when we returned I was lost, so found a p/t job. Covid ended that, a harsh introduction to proper retirement, when able I started volunteering one day a week which I still do. My days have a different rhythm now, we’re enjoying more time together, even in companionable silence. Financially we have to think twice about larger expenses, there is pleasure in small treats previously taken for granted.
It took a good two years to ‘resettle me’,

I was made 'voluntarily' redundant into early retirement in my early 50s. This was 30 years ago. After a university course, which was on of the bells and whistles attached to the redundancy package, I tried to get back to work but 30 years ago professional women in their 50s were unemployable.

My solution was voluntary work. Voluntary work covers a huge range of jobs, not just working in charity shops or making tea at a day cente. In my case I volunteered as a Home Visitor with the charity now known as Age UK. I was visiting clients helping with benefit claims, mainly Attendance Allowance, if they were turned down I would support them through the Appeal process, I took on all kinds of problems - housing, neighbour, social support. When my manager went on maternity leave I returned to paid empoyment as her replacement while she was away. The work built on my working skills.

If you look on the volunteering pages for your areaa, usually on the local authority website, or just google, you will find volunteers advertised for at every level, including quite senior. Work is usually part time, so you get a happy mix, of having a job, and being retired.

keepingquiet my experience was similar, and I also went through a period of suffering from what I can only describe as a form of claustrophobia when I initially stopped working.
I felt my life had shrunk, that the future was small, that I was almost trapped.
I retired as part of a restructuring programme, so felt unwanted.
It took time, some help and a few years of trying new things including volunteering and part time work for me to settle and I’m now ‘bien dans sa peau’ as they say

I had to do exactly the same. It was strange at first, like an extended holiday.
The finances were alarming at first but surprisingly it was ok. I wasn't a high earner.
Four years on I'm loving it now. Finally got state pension.
I do still find myself dashing about as when I was at work, but guess that's just me.
I've joined a local gym and made new friends, at hopefully I'm fitter than before.
I read and do crafts.
I hope you enjoy the time,you deserve it.
Good luck x

My experience on retirement was that I volunteered for a charity, my professional skills meant I was asked early on to join the committee and soon after became CEO.
The downside was that I was doing a busy job unpaid.
The upside, however, was that I got to work with great people from all walks of life and made new friends with whom to socialise and travel.

This gave me the confidence to join other groups, social and sporty ( for oldies - badminton, snooker etc), which broadened my circle further.
Now I have very good close friends and a wide circle of less close friends.

My suggestion is to join things outside of your comfort zone, give them a try and stick with those that you most enjoy. The time will fly by and you will feel good about yourself too.

As a "respected professional", is there any scope for you to undertake self-employed consultancy work? I didn't earn a great deal, but I had a very interesting time for a couple of years.

Well ' said' poppyred. For me volunteering was the answer. Embrace and enjoy your retirement. Good luck!

I think it's a good idea to leave it a while before committing to too much. Wait and see what you want to do, rather than rushing into doing things because you think you should be doing them. I found that it took a while to find out what was happening locally, as I hadn't been around in the daytime for years. After a lifetime of being unavailable it was great to be able to try things out and see what I enjoyed. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I had committed myself for set times every week.

Absolutly hated it,still do. My job was more interesting than at home. I am bored silly. Although I have met new friends working together to find a new home for our exercise based charity when funding was lost. Together ,5/6 of us managed to move ourselves out of the second charity that kept all our money including a bequest and gave two classes a week when we previously had 13.Now we have a new partnership where we have say. Building more classes, tempting many of our old classmates back again. However I,m still bored silly.Never been good at amusing myself,loved school,uni,and most of the jobs I've done. Any ideas?

If you enjoyed university, why not go back? I did an MA (totally unrelated to my professional qualifications), purely for enjoyment, and I got a lot from it. If you don't fancy a long course there are often shorter courses in Adult Education departments, or you can look on Eventbrite for online classes in areas that interest you. Either way, you meet people with the same interest as you, which can broaden your social circle, and there may be an opportunity to start a local interest group too.

I am currently learning a new language (albeit at a very basic level so far), but that is interesting too. Or see if you could teach a class in your area of expertise? It doesn't matter if it's knitting or brain surgery, the chances are there will be people who want to learn if you can find a suitable venue.

Can I recommend learning or perfecting a skilled hobby? Like linguistics or music maybe. As you progress it reminds you that you're a capable person who can feel proud of yourself.

I retired early when we moved to a different area. I did voluntary work : 5 years in a food bank followed by 5 years on Books on Wheels - choosing and delivering books to the housebound. Both hard work and very enjoyable. Both also ensued u made new friends.

I think the first thing to do is to find out exactly how much money you will have coming in each month. This is probably not easy to ascertain, but it is necessary to know where you are.

Then you need to go through your current living expenses and see whether there is anything that you will no longer have to pay out every month, travelling expenses that will decrease for instance.

Then turn to something more positive. What do you want to do in your retirement?

You mention you may not be able to afford to travel, but have you taken into account that anywhere in Europe you can travel by train at reduced rates once you are 60 or 63 and that there are senior interrail tickets?

If your present hobbies really will be too expensive, perhaps you can save on something else in order to keep up your favourite hobby?

You will also have time: time to bake your own bread, pickle your own beetroot, make food from scratch if you are interested in domestic work, time to keep and walk a dog, time to walk - a hobby that once you have found and paid for a pair of comfortable shoes , won't cost a thing.

If you really miss working and earning a wage ( I did not, seeing the last of difficult colleagues and politicians' unrealistic ideas of how school should be run was simply marvellous) you may well be able to find a part-time job in your field, or voluntary work that appeals to you.

Try to look at the possiblities that this new phase of life brings, rather than what you will be missing.

I retired 5 years ago at 56. I have plenty of time for box-sets, reading, music and online bridge etc. I have several chronic health conditions and I'm glad to have enjoyed some retirement time, unlike my dad who died in his early 50's without enjoying any retirement time. Enjoy!

I retired part time in 2018 then fully in Feb 24 . I can't believe how busy I am.
My greatest enjoyment is spending time with Grandson from birth. Husband semi retired and has been able to form a great connection with latest grandchildren due to picking and choosing when he works.( self employed).
Being able to spend time with my 88 year old mum has been good even though it means I've taken on responsibility for all her paperwork. I joined a ladies group which I love, I walk twice a week with different people and meet up with friends and sister for occasional coffees ,days out.
Lots of little holiday UK breaks during Monday to Friday school terms ,so cheaper.We also have had an allotment for over 20 years so another social event. I manage the store there and have made lots of new friends. There are days when you feel a little lonely but wouldn't go back to school if you paid me double. Life is what you make of it and if you have decent health you're lucky.
I love just being me at home.

I was employed till March 2023 and retired but feel I’ve no identity and find myself wondering what my purpose is..

Being disabled it’s much harder to go out and volunteer as do miss the social side of being in a team and filling in the days..