Help - ignored

I was shocked and horrified when I read your OP gentleshores especially by the behaviour of your OH. No ones behaviour was in any way acceptable but IMO his was worse of all.

Sorry to hear that - both about your husbands attitude and that of the gathering generally. Both sound like they were pretty thoughtless.

Not all social gatherings are like that - some will cater (though admitted - it won't be all). I went to a pretty large communal one the other day and hadnt clicked why we'd all been put elsewhere. Reason being the lift to where we were supposed to hold it had stopped working (again!) and we'd all been seated downstairs instead - because it was realised some people wouldnt be able to walk up the stairs (first floor location). I hadnt clicked to that - until it struck me belatedly that the person on their own I'd gone to sit next to had to use one of those "walkers" to get around and it was parked up behind her. Hadn't occurred to me she was less "mobile" until I saw her get up to leave finally.

So it won't have an "ability bar" up in some places - as sometimes this will have been thought about and catered for in advance. So don't go giving up on the idea of going out - it may just be that sometimes you'll have to make enquiries in advance whether it's suitably organised for everyone. I'd be taking the view personally "People with children often ask for things to be arranged to suit them - so I'll just approach it in the same confident 'tone of voice' to ask for things to be arranged to suit us".

I am just so sad and also angry that you had to experience such an awful evening.
The host and others seem to be very rude. Not to have even offered you a drink - just appalling behaviour.

Why wasn't your husband more attentive?
As others have suggested - have a good 'chat' with him!

How horrible for you - I’m so sorry. But your dh was very remiss in abandoning you like that! I’d be having serious Words with him!

This was incredibly rude and ignorant of those around you. It just goes to show what sort of people they really. I am horrified for you and fully appreciate how unpleasant it must have been. There are no excuses for this type of behaviour. The host should have at least put the stool somewhere central for you and taken time to ensure that you were catered for. Maybe one day the host will need to navigate life themselves and be treated as they treat you.

The hosts were rude without a doubt by not acknowledging you, but I’d be more upset by the behaviour of your OH if I were you.
Was this his normal way of treating you?

I also have mobility problems so I do have similar experience to the OP. It’s almost as though we’re issued with an invisibility cloak as our ability to move independently declines…….hence we just don’t get seen, for want of a better definition.

Personally, I no longer visit DP family as they all have either unruly dogs or children, or both.

We visited one relative a few years ago and a child was asked to ‘budge up and let me sit down’ by their parent, this request was met with grunts, huffing & puffing, eye rolling…….etc. When I did finally manage to get a seat I was joined by a very large, excitable labrador……..because that was where he normally snoozed!

Since my disability has taken hold I have been more aware of how public places are not well equipped for those with poor mobility and people’s attitude to the same. All this despite it being a legal responsibility to make changes and adjustments !

All too often I attend appointments only to find the seating in the waiting areas is far too low or chairs have no arms to aid the user to sit and stand independently. I make a point of raising issue in these cases and all too often the staff admit “we hadn’t thought of that”! But the bloody well should ‘think of that’!!!!

Gentleshores, in your situation I would be inclined to invite those people to your home to let them see for themselves how you manage, cope, live, address each and every task.

I find that extraordinary. My mobility is poor but people can't do enough to help me and make sure I am included.
I am sorry you had this experience, but don't give up ... not everyone is like this.

Your partner and his friends were very uncaring and not supportive. I would not put myself in that situation again as it’s totally demoralising. I would also be having a conversation with your partner about his conduct in future.

I think I would have rung for a taxi after the first hour and double locked the front door when I got in
Let him sleep in the car

I would be more worried about my partners lack of care. Your hosts behaved badly and I would not bother with them again but your husband just to leave you like that on your own is worrying. In future only go to places that although he is there you can manage if he wasn’t. You must feel very humiliated by the evening but you got through it and must ensure it doesn't happen again,

What a horrible experience. Yes new friends should be your aim now.
These people don't seem like good friends at all and it sounded like too many people for it to have been at all an easy occasion for you.

Your DH doesn't sound supportive on this occasion either. Is he normally more caring?

Try and put an awful day behind you and concentrate on developing friendships where you would be more welcome.

I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant experience. It seems strange but many people feel awkward around someone who is disabled. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing and decide it's better to just ignore the person.