Dreading the Countdown to Christmas and the day itself.

Everyone has a distinctly different Christmas experience and special dishes that they serve to family or dear friends who prepare them.

It is quite an emotional time for many who are widowed, have lost loved ones or are not well or who have family abroad or at a distance.

It is a very special time of the year and people should refrain from selfishness and belittling others.

Take a moment to look upon your actions and take a step forward to heal the wounds and the wounds of others.

Magenta: A group of very heartfelt posts written by you.
All our best wishes for a healthy, fulfilling and wonderful 2026.

To all those who have had "wicked witches of the east type mothers or mother in laws or even daughters or daughter in laws; it is time to uncomplicate your past and move on.

Unfortunately, one cannot always change a leopard´s spots however, they can walk as fast as they could away from such negativity .. and change their guest list ..

Thank you Magenta8. I don't wish to explain why, but I'm not really looking forward to Christmas, so it's a thoughtful message from you.

Lesley60

It’s a lovely post, I’m starting to not really like Christmas although I loved it when my children and grandchildren were little, I used to be excited but now I only have one of my seven grandchildren who is little.
I know how lucky I am having my family around we go there for Christmas dinner and they come to me for Boxing Day buffet tea, I used to think my daughter was miserable when she said it’s just buying presents they don’t need and overeating and drinking, but now I realise I feel the same way ( she does put a face on for everyone) I think next year we will go on a cruise

Lesley60
I know exactly how you feel infact today I am only just putting up a tree & decorating it 🎄🎄🎄
Usually my house is ‘Christmased up by now - lights , tinsel , tree etc but this year I haven’t been motivated at all as like you my GC are now older the youngest 2 are 13 & I also have 7 aged 29-13 . Plus a GGD aged 3.
For the last few years the Christmas (& summer) activities have dwindled considerably. We didn’t even get to mae a Christmas Cake together , we had a date agreed but plans changed .

So Christmas has lost its Sparkle 💖 for me .
We will have 25th at home with my MIL who will stay 24-26th then my 2 stepsons are coming 26th .
28th we will turn up enmasse to my DD a 2 hr drive away . She has the biggest house nowadays to accommodate us all .
One day together is probably more than enough with some of the males in our famalam.
It makes me sad though 😢

But we are going away for NY just us & the pooches . 🫶

My MIL once gave me a hideous top and she proudly told me that she’d bought the same one for her sister, I was in my early 50’s and her sister was nearly 90! Another year she told me she’d got me a jumper from TK Max, she’d seen a girl trying it on and she was ‘as thin as a pin’ but then said ‘now I look at you, you look much larger than you usually do and I don’t think it will fit you!!’ I was a slim size 12, she was size 18-20! Plus the said jumper was so ghastly I wouldn’t have been seen dead in it! 😂

Magenta8

Sorry to hear about your problems Caleo. It sounds a though your relations really want to include you in their plans for Christmas. I am not qualified to advise on your toileting needs apart from wondering if it would be possible for you to wear special pants and try to remain within easy reach of toilets.

In my opinion it would be a shame for you to miss out but if it would stress you so much that you wouldn't enjoy it perhaps give it a miss. Only you can decide.

Thank you Magenta. I decided not to go. Your post helped me to decide.

You put it so nicely.

I fall into the dreading it a bit camp. My son in law's father always comes to Christmas Dinner and always puts a damper on the occasion with his Scrooge-like behaviour and conversation. That causes my daughter to drink a bit too much and get a bit ratty. According to recent ( awful) Tesco Christmas adverts on tv, that is what Christmas is all about !

I dread Christmas the sheer blooming expense! I struggle with it as all the usual stupid bills still have to be paid! and my youngest daughter (with 3 children) expects me to financially make up for her being a single parent by stepping into the role that a second parent would take. I have had to help with purchasing all 3 Christmas stockings (and we are not talking about few little bits and chocolates!) plus covering her Christmas food shop and the Christmas Eve boxes! I also had to pay half the cost of a panto visit, and cover snacks /drinks for the Elf emporium visit, as well as usual contributions I make to other bits the kids need.
I have 4 other grandchildren too so I really find Christmas stressful 😳.
I cant really step back or the kids would suffer. The useless ex pays zero child support sadly.

Very thoughtful post Magenta.
Not in the least patronising.
Yes, Christmas has become an over dulgent Shopfest for a lot of people.

But l know several churches and a Good Neighbours Group near to where l live whi really have the right attitude in helping people with a Good Will To All Men at Christmas

Hope you have a lovely Christmas and New Year

Some people hate Christmas .

I loved my mother,but I found her a real strain at Christmas .
She repeatedly said that she hated the season .
She moaned continuously about the cold weather,the decorations,the food and the expense .

I have all sorts of christmas times over the years, some wonderful, others awful, and the year my husband died, I was absolutely dreading it and wondering how I would get through it. I decided that I would move my christmas in a way. So I arranged to see son and family a little earlier than the actual day and let them think I was invited out elsewhere. Well I was, by me. I chose to make up a picnic for myself and take coffee etc and drove up to the dales and where we had loved to walk. There was actually less strain and more peace being up there, where I didnt have to put on a face for others and they did not have to tiptoe round me. I got a bit upset, but that would have happened wherever I was and I actually found the peace and quiet calming, and it made me feel a bit more in control. So I dont know if choosing to do something very different could be a preferred thing to do for someone , rather than have a very difficult day and then perhaps choosing your own day to meet up with family in the new year? At the very least considering doing something else even if you decide not to in the end will make you feel a bit more in control. Dont forget that as someone said on here GNs will be around to chat to on the day.

This is the first time my DH and I will be alone. My sister did invite use to hers. But it's been a tough second half of year having lost my MIL and SIL. We are thankful for each other and looking forward to a restful few days.
Next year we shall have a houseful when both our children and GC will be here. So greatful but at the same time exhausting.

That's kind Magenta, Happy Christmas :-)

I think this over-commercialised jamboree called Christmas is possibly connected to some vague character from history called "Jesus"..........but you would never really know it.

jenpax

I dread Christmas the sheer blooming expense! I struggle with it as all the usual stupid bills still have to be paid! and my youngest daughter (with 3 children) expects me to financially make up for her being a single parent by stepping into the role that a second parent would take. I have had to help with purchasing all 3 Christmas stockings (and we are not talking about few little bits and chocolates!) plus covering her Christmas food shop and the Christmas Eve boxes! I also had to pay half the cost of a panto visit, and cover snacks /drinks for the Elf emporium visit, as well as usual contributions I make to other bits the kids need.
I have 4 other grandchildren too so I really find Christmas stressful 😳.
I cant really step back or the kids would suffer. The useless ex pays zero child support sadly.

Why on earth do you do it?

I’d like to send best wishes to all who are having a difficult time , and to all who have had difficult mothers . I lost my mum nearly 22 years ago . She was a lovely mum and my best friend.

Thank you Magenta8. A very kind and thoughtful post.

I really don't think spending Christmas day by yourself is always a bad thing. Of course if you are isolated, aching with loneliness and/or grieving it is grim but if it is a day spent doing Christmas your way without having to fit in with what other people, you don't necessarily want to be with, want to do then it can be really rather nice.

A timely and thoughtful discussion. Good to be part of kind, caring Gransnetters. Wishing you all peace this Christmas.

She said why she does it in her post Hollysteers

Yes but I think Holysteers is wondering why she just doesn’t refuse. Or at least cut down the amount expected.

Thank you Magenta - a very timely, thoughtful post with sine very touching replies. I am not looking forward to Xmas due to an estrangement which makes life very difficult but more so at this time of year when I see other families coming together but as usual, I will wear my smiley mask as I don't want to spoil the day for others. I will be thinking of everyone in this GN family and hoping you all have a better year to come.

It’s reassuring to know that others feel the same isn’t it? I’m sick to the back teeth of opening a newspaper or turning on the TV to be be told how to get the perfect party dress, cook a perfect turkey, make the perfect table decoration and stuff the perfect mushroom. Christmas is never perfect. I’m such a people pleaser, and try to be everything to everybody. It’s exhausting. Also, I know it’s nothing compared to everyone’s else’s worries, but my lovely old cat is on borrowed time and I know he won’t be here much longer. Oh well. Here we go again …… Merry Christmas to all x

blossom14

Like some other Grans on here my first without DH. We were together 65 years.

Last year he was in Hospital and Christmas morning I had just the WI gift bag to open - so I felt a bit sorry for myself.

So completely without him this year. I will join my DD2 and family for the day and raise a glass to memories.

Blossom - you felt a bit sorry for yourself? Of course you did! Who wouldn't? 65 years. There will be tears and lots of happy memories to share. Take care.

I still have some wrapping to do (grrr) but not much else now.
My present list seems to get smaller every year which is sad.

The older GCs seem rather above it all this year except my eldest GS who is in love and spent ages making a card for his girlfriend. The younger ones still seem to feel the magic.

Part of me is longing for it to be all over.

Nearly there. I hope tomorrow is, at the very least tolerable.

After tomorrow that will be it for another year.