Talking to strangers

Magenta8

I walked over to my DDs for tea on Christmas day. There were not many people around. I wished a man who was walking in the opposite direction "Happy Christmas." He stopped and stared at me for a second and then said "Pardon." I repeated my greeting and he just said "Oh" and walked on. The other two people I greeted blanked me.

People are not very sociable round my way. It reminded me why, most of the time, I don't bother.

Sadly this seems to be becoming normal here in Denmark too, My generation was brought up to converse in buses, trams, or trains or at the stops as a matter of common courtesy, in the same way as we offered to help those struggling with heavy luggage, awkward parcels or small children.

Now, you hardly dare approach anyone with a child for fear of being suspected of paedophilia!

700 metres away from my home, once I cross the Danish-German border the old rules hold good. Total strangers wish each other good day, shop assistents wish you a good weekend, Happy Christmas or New Year, or whatever else is appropriate, and strangers use the formal pronoun to each other, as do all children when addressing a grown-up who is not a member of their immediate family.

There are so many lonely people these days, it seems to me an awful pity we no longer engage in social chit-chat with those we meet in the street.

I am following my mother’s footsteps and talk to strangers when I can. It is cathartic. My daughter is the same. You can make somebody’s day by having a chat 👍

Deedaa

My son has always been horrified by my speaking to people. He's nearly 50 now and still hasn't got used to it. I really shocked him one day, as we were coming out of lockdown, when I walked across a carpark to speak to a nun. "Why were you talking to that NUN?" was his horrified question. I explained that I'd met her in a cancer support group and just wanted to know how she'd coped with lockdown. He still wasn't impressed.

Love this 😁

BlueBelle I too live on the East Coast and find people so friendly and chatty!
I wonder if it is winter 🥶 and we are all locals. Daughter finds it embarrassing but is not local.
Happy New Year to all chatter boxes!!

Grandmabatty

It's a Scottish thing too! Particularly the West Coast. It was common to speak to people as you pass them or at a bus stop etc. I think it's less common nowadays because people hide behind their phone.

Absolutely! I lived most of my life in Lanarkshire and then moved to East Lothian. People at bus stops would talk but not quite as readily. And I would get the comment that “You’re from the west aren’t you. They chat more”! Of course the different accent gave that away too. Amazing what a difference an hour distance can make! I’ll chat anywhere if I find a willing participant. 😁

My late BIL who worked in central London, but came from the north like me, said that people in London were “just like trees”. Too many to take any notice of.

I noticed ages ago, that strangers were randomly smiling at me. Then they started to ask me if I was Jane MacDonald. It happens all the time and I’m flattered as I’m older than her.
I’d prefer Sophia Loren, but you can’t have everything!😁

I think tese posts really nail the many reasons we talk to strangers and why tey talk to us.

Its all about connection and being part of humanity. A wonerful thing to share.

When travelling or in shops, I frequently get asked where things are, directions for where someone wants to go or something about the place we are visiting. I think I must look like I know what I am doing, I belong whereever I am or as my family says an "Information Booth".

I'm a Yorkshire girl and we're used to chatting to anyone, on the odd occasion I've gone down south the amount of times I've been absolutely ignored even when I've just said 'Good morning'!

Maremia

On buses, yes, also trains, but never planes. Wonder why not?
More stress, being on a plane?

You may have to sit next to them for a long long time! In my experience we start chatting as we begin to land.

I’ve found that more people answer when I say hello to them these days and think it started during Covid when more people were out walking.

I smile and say good morning or whatever, and get a range of replies from a pleasant reply to ignoring, but to me it is courteous behaviour when you are walking along a path somewhere. I now have some friends that I have known for years who I first met through just saying good morning. Also as I am a singer, quite often if I am out on my own I will be singing, anything from opera to portuguese fado to folk music and have usually had pleasant responses from people, many of whom have said - you sound very happy , or , it is good to hear someone singing etc. I get a range of responses from that to totally blanking me or turning off on another path. Doesnt bother me, they are entitled to be quiet if they wish and I dont intrude on someone who obviously does not want to make any contact with me

Strangers are just people we haven't met yet.

I think the activity of talking to strangers is very much dependent upon where you live . I was brought up in the Midlands and it was common place. Now further south and people don't really want to interact.

I usually say hello to those around me on planes, but I find they rarely want to talk. However the exception was a nine hour flight from London to Calgary where the lady next to me talked for the ENTIRE flight. I was in the middle seat of three and DH was next to me one side and this lady the other. She told me her life history, plus the history of most of her family. It was all very interesting but quite exhausting.

All the time. I’m a good listener!

My DH loves to chat to strangers. Waiting to check in at the airport after a holiday he struck up conversation with a couple. One year later ,same airport , same queue …yes same couple !! The conversation continued from the previous year.

I no longer live in the UK and I really miss chatting to strangers as it just doesn't happen here. It's one reason I like to go back.

I often find that older ladies talk to me on the bus or in queues. I don't often start the conversations as I know some people don't like it, but do speak to them if they smile and say hello.
If my grandchildren are with me they always ask me if I know the lady and tell me not to speak to strangers.
I must have an approachable face I think, unfortunately this also means that weird people come and sit next to me too!

SunnySusie

I usually say hello to those around me on planes, but I find they rarely want to talk. However the exception was a nine hour flight from London to Calgary where the lady next to me talked for the ENTIRE flight. I was in the middle seat of three and DH was next to me one side and this lady the other. She told me her life history, plus the history of most of her family. It was all very interesting but quite exhausting.

My husband used to travel by plane all the time as he often worked overseas, and his idea of hell was to be seated next to a granny on her way to Australia to see her grandchildren, all he wanted was to sleep, not to chat.

I was told that people in motorhomes and caravans were all very friendly, what a disappointment when we stayed on a site, and as I was walking through barely anyone acknowledged my good mornings, and not one of them initiated a good morning greeting.

No idea about motorhomes and caravans - but I did find people were quite chatty when I was on a barge holiday one time - ie doing a sorta circular trip from England to Wales and back again.

I'll talk to anyone, my dad was gregarious and I seem to have inherited this trait. I guess I'm nosey & interested in what people have to say. If they're suspicious or unfriendly I just find someone else to yap to incase they think I'm a criminal, serial killer or deranged.

When we lived in rural France it was normal to say "bonjour" to everyone in general when going into a shop or bakery - if you didn't they would pointedly say it to you. The same when passing a stranger in the street.
Moving back to England I would do the same at first but often got funny looks or people would just put their heads down and avoid eye contact. Very sad.
I often end up in conversation with strangers and "oversharing". It's common with ADHD!

I’m on the London /Surrey borders and people rarely chat to strangers , especially on trains or buses . I’ve always had dogs and dog owners are very friendly and say hello or good morning and often chat about our dogs .