Talking to strangers

4xGranny

My husband and I go walking two or three times a week. It is noticeable that people over 40 will say good morning or make a comment about the weather etc. However anyone younger just look away.

It’s true that older people are most likely to give out a friendly greeting and to answer, younger ones are glued to their phones.

My son has always been horrified by my speaking to people. He's nearly 50 now and still hasn't got used to it. I really shocked him one day, as we were coming out of lockdown, when I walked across a carpark to speak to a nun. "Why were you talking to that NUN?" was his horrified question. I explained that I'd met her in a cancer support group and just wanted to know how she'd coped with lockdown. He still wasn't impressed.

I'm a shy but friendly person and when on a walk I look at people passing and if there is eye contact I will smile. If they say 'Hi' or 'Good Morning' that's a bonus as I'm quite lonely at the moment. Sometimes there will be a conversation which is lovely. I've had interesting conversations whilst on or waiting for a bus. People can be fascinating and surprise you. It can make your day.

I once had a 20-25 minute conversation with a chap whilst we were both looking at the cheese display in a shop! We started talking about all sorts - after discussing cheese - and he told me about his niece who is well known in women's football circles and who he is so proud of. I see her on TV sometimes.

And there is no way I would laugh at a waitress who was menopausal and just wanted a little bit of understanding and some light heartedness with customers. Where is the understanding and compassion in mocking someone who is opening up and sharing something which was obviously on her mind?

I seem to have the kind of face that attracts strangers, often with problems they’re desperate to unload. A lady in the JL lift on her first outing after a THR, a lady killing time before visiting her sister in a local psychiatric hospital and the middle aged cross dresser, who asked to share my table in a cafe, then showed me photos of his grandchildren. My DDs used to be mortified, but they’re much the same as me now.
It costs nothing to speak and smile to others.

We retired to a small village. When walking our dogs, several folk will wave greetings or stop to chat. Even seasonal visitors to this area like to chat.
Where we used to live for years, folk never exchanged pleasantries on the dog walk. Perhaps a city mentality of Don't Talk to Strangers.

I'm quite happy to chat to strangers. I like friendly people. I find people who pass you and look well away, frightened to death in case they make eye contact really strange. It costs nothing to be friendly. If people tell you things about themselves it is because they want to or maybe need to. So why be unkind?

I've had lots of really interesting conversations with complete strangers that I've sat next to on planes, trains and buses. I still correspond with a Canadian woman I met in Venice 10 years ago and I love talking to people from other countries and who live different lives to me. I'm just very sociable and am interested in people.

Greyduster

It used to puzzle DH that we couldn’t go anywhere without me striking up a conversation with a total stranger. I used to tell him it was a Yorkshire thing, but he was Welsh and from my experience over the years, it also seems to be a Welsh thing!

Well its definitely a Liverpool thing....I think its nice

I've had some terrific conversations with people I've got chatting to at the bus stop, in shop queues or on the bus. These unexpected random chats really brighten up the day.

I find people who pass you and look well away, frightened to death in case they make eye contact really strange. To be fair, the only time we experienced this was on a visit to London. We were trying to find our way to the National Army Museum in Chelsea and asked four people for directions (this was prior to the miracle that is Google maps!) all of whom snubbed us without replying. One actually looked quite alarmed and put the palms of his hands towards us as if to say “back off”! The last person we approached was a charming lady who was a local resident and offered to take us there - we weren’t far off as it happened. DH and I met and married while working and living in London and I remember people being a lot more friendly in those days.

Yes, Aveline the bus stop is a great place for unexpected chats. Here we have one bus so I have met lots of people who live close by but I wouldn’t otherwise have run into while waiting for the bus, and the journey into town is usually quite jolly.

Once the driver lost his way - thought he was driving a different number bus - and navigating back to the expected route around the town’s road works was a real team effort!

lixy a country bus I was on was great fun. Most of us passengers knew each other by now due to being regulars. We were all enjoying the last journey before Christmas and, for a laugh, Freddy the driver went twice round a big roundabout! The squeals!

A passing stranger looked straight at me and said I've had my teeth cleaned, then showed me a mouthful of teeth.

Yikes monk08 what did you do?

Round here we talk to each other but not so much in the city. I often also bump into people I do know which is nice. Being part of a community is important to me.One of my grandsons asks if I know the people I speak to and is amazed when the answer is no. He is standoffish but I suppose people might be suspicious of young blokes smiling and chatting, probably think he was a perv or something. Sad state of affairs.

My Irish uncle, who lived in rural Southern Ireland, used to find it amusing when he came here that people passed by without acknowledging others.

Aveline

Yikes monk08 what did you do?

Smiled and carried on walking laughing to myself it takes all sorts.

She probably said it to get you to giggle.

My family are from an Ireland and although I was born in U.K. I am very happy chatting to people I don’t know.
My daughter now lives in Scotland where I find folk are great for greeting on street and chatting in shops. I do feel some parts of the country are more likely to embrace it. However it’s not for everyone and so I’m reluctant to generalise

I think it does vary from place to place, I grew up in Lancashire and it was very normal to chat at a bus stop or on the bus, but when I went to University near London people looked at me as if I had 2 heads if I chatted to them.
I visited my DS and family for Christmas and walked to church with my DD and my DS's children. Everyone we passed said 'Happy Christmas' and my grandson seemed surprised and asked why. We just said "It's what you do on Christmas day" however I do find Yorkshire folk pretty friendly.

No problem with strangers talking to me. Find it happens in the least expected places and by people who I had quickly and wrongly assessed as not being a talker.

Walking the dog, waiting at a bus stop if I’m trying to save on parking, looking on supermarket shelves or in Bon Marché, people often talk to me. It’s nice to chat. Eric, a man with the very friendly spaniel made me laugh today when he said We must stop meeting like this. as we crossed paths on the way out and back again.

I live in a big city so people don't often chat with you. However a young lady who was an Emirates cabin staff employee asked me the way to the station. She said that she was so excited; she was going to Stratford upon Avon to see Shakespeare's birth place. Another time I got chatting to a couple in Dublin airport lounge and they said that they were going to America to judge Irish dancing competitions. It turned out that they were going to Boston then on to the town near New York where my daughter runs a dance school. (Ballet, jazz etc but not Irish dancing)

My DH hates my doing that! He gets cross when I talk to the checkout operator too. I walk around with a smile and people smile back.

My daughter gets hugs from children when she walks around and they talk to her randomly. I was with her when a young lady with Down's pinned he to the wall with a big bear hug, much to the mortification of her mother, but we spoke to her and asked about her day.

Greyduster

It used to puzzle DH that we couldn’t go anywhere without me striking up a conversation with a total stranger. I used to tell him it was a Yorkshire thing, but he was Welsh and from my experience over the years, it also seems to be a Welsh thing!

I always nod and say good morning as I pass or wait at the bus stop wherever I am which often turns into a natter but you should see me abroad when I hear Welsh spoken!

I’m off like a shot to ask where they’re from etc and my daughter used to be mortified 🫣 so I explained that there are only around half a million Welsh speakers in the world and most will be in Wales at any given time so we’re duty bound to acknowledge each other across the water!