I am so touched .....

I am so struck by the fact that it is the small things that wash by us that can feel so important to those in some sort of need.

When I was a child there was a couple living opposite us whose Grandson used to come and stay in the holidays. The parents were working abroad and he was at boarding school, which he did not like.

He used to come and play sometimes and I vividly remember his delight at scraping and eating the dregs of cake mixture from the mixing bowl - licking the spoon, absolutely enchanted.

Ours was a loving home when I was gowing up; my father was a potter and always happy to teach our friends how to throw a pot on the wheel or let them make things from his vast stocks of clay. For a few years, he taught pottery lessons at the local grammar school. Several people have said to me that pottery lessons were the only ones they enjoyed, when they were struggling with the academic rigour of the school, and one gained a lifelong love of ceramics and his house is full of rare and experimental pots he's collected over the years. Nice to think that he left kids with happy memories and shared his love of messing about with clay!

When my daughter befriended a girl in her class , who was from a dismal home with not much love or comforts , my daughter brought her home from school and I had been baking, this little girl said to me . “ I wish you were my Mum”. She never bakes,” So I made another sponge cake for her to take home, I found out later the child had been adopted, That made it even sadder ,

My home life was a battlefield but I assumed this was normal and everyone had much the same life. But it was a case of watch your back and be out of the house and with your pals as much as possible. We were very aware of the loathing both parents felt towards each other.If I could find a friend and then to get an invite to their home I would be overjoyed. I would join in as if I to lived there and so so wished I did. Certainly no love or careing available at our house and in addition we were made to feel we were a drain on the finances. As for asking friends to come for tea! No chance as ww3 could break out for reasons we never understood so couldn’t chance it. I always envied those girls who lived where people seemed happy, it seemed a dream come true house!

That’s so lovely and deservedly so.
I was reminded of how kind actions mean the world to people; even the smallest of actions can stay with people always - good and bad - so let’s try to make them good…
My Father died recently and old workmates and my old school friends expressed how kind my Dad had been and that they would always remember him fondly.
😊

Great to hear this but it begs the question what was the home life of your dds friend like. Different probably.

How lovely

There are so many different reasons why the friend I have known for 78 years- we met when we were 2 - is important to me. Many good and bad things we have shared and supported each other through ,over the years, but a very special thing we share is our memory of someone important to us. She loved her dad, and I remember him a s a very quiet, lovely gentle man, who was a great gardener and carer, and she remembers my granny, who was so important to me and was killed in a car crash, what she was like, going to her farm, or to the auction and her cooking and many other simple times. Now outside of our siblings, I dont think there is anyone else alive who remembers them in such details and with such love. This is still something so important to us both, as we can speak of them and know that they are remembered, for the lovely people they were.

A friend of my brother contacted me after my mum died to say how much he had appreciated time spent at our house. My mum was a cookery teacher and she used to buy ingredients for his sisters' lessons as they were on the day before payday. The girls always paid her back but they appreciated her kindness. I can't remember exactly what the friend said but it may have included something about his sisters. I should have written it down at the time.

I had a miserable childhood and remember staying with my best friend and marvelling at the happy relaxed atmosphere, so different to the atmosphere of tension at home, waiting for my father to blow up.

It was an eye opener to see how other families could be and I married a much older kind and gentle man. I used to get such a glow of pleasure when our children sat around the table talking for ages after the meal, often with friends staying and thanked God that there was goodness in the world.

How nice of her to share this. We should say things like this more often, while we can.

It was same when i was young, I used to be in/out of our neighbours next door, because i was the youngest in our house with much older siblings and next doors were a huge friendly family with a few children, they were my friends.we even shared bonfire nights parties etc.I also had a school friend with a big family and i would often go hers & sleepover at weekends.I loved it all and it was like i had extra family.I was always treated same and always made welcome.So i guess it just came naturally to me to do same for my own kids friends.Older sons friends all ask them how i am now .

This is what my best friend messaged me when my Mum died last year, I always thought it was the other way round and her mum stood up for me
"Your mum was always good to me and I remember her sticking up for me with my mum when she wouldn’t let me do things that we wanted to do."
Funny how we remember things differently as kids

1summer

That must have been so wonderful for you to hear and for your son too. What lovely memories those boys must have had.

How lovely Luckygirl13- We often had a tablefull at ours when my oldest son brought his friends round and i'd often give them their tea (evening meal) they'd always offer to wash up(i only let them once) and some of them would call me mum or ma.(particularly poinant because a couple of them had mums who had died when they were small) They were at my sons wedding too and greeted me hello mum.My middle son brought his friends occasionally but i knew them all and even by their nicknames they had in school,- now when he talks about them he says their real name & ill go oh,you mean (nickname)& he laughs that i remembered. Now my younger one has grown up he too brings round his old college best friend who calls me mother 'surname' and all our family know him.Its like old times.🙂

keepcalmandcavachon

How lovely of your DDs friend to share such memories, those times must have been so special for her, I had a few 'safe' places too at times made all the difference.

Yes a school friend i've not seen for 40+ years told me she loved coming to my house, it was the only place she felt really safe. Broke my heart to hear .. I had no idea at the time. Glad you had safe spaces too xx

Luckygirl3

..... by a message from a childhood friend of my DD's which DD has just shared with me .......

"I have this lovely memory of sitting at your folks' place - your mum had made soup and the tastiest homemade rolls - your living room was so soft and cosy. I hope my kids friends feel similar at mine. I felt so comfortable at yours."

It nearly brought me to tears - lovely memories ......

I would be absolutely thrilled if my children's friends thought like that about our home and friendship. What a lovely home you must have provided for them all and how very touched you must be now to have that acknowledged in such a beautiful way. I fully understand how overcome you must feel. x

What a lovely thing to hear, Luckygirl.
It's a reminder to all of us to tell people how important they have been in our lives.

Really lovely!

Kids don’t always say so at the time but do hang on to memories. Several of my son’s old mates have been in touch since he was diagnosed with cancer. I was genuinely amazed when they said they loved coming to our house as teenagers. We laughed when they remembered piles of lads huge trainers piled up in our porch when they arrived. They all got drinks and something to eat and said we always made them welcome.

My own childhood friends all remember my DM offering them a sherry and my DD driving them home.

What a fabulous and very touching memory.

My AC childhood friends would probably say they remembered the dog running off with their shoes and our youngest running around ripping off his clothes ( he did this from as soon as could get clothes off til he started school!)

An old school friend of mine said to me not so long ago, “I always liked going to your house because everyone was nice to each other”. (Doubtful grammar, but you get the drift.) I only wish my parents had been alive to hear that. I was very touched.

Such a lovely thread. When DH died I treasured letters from several of DD’s friends who wrote of how warmly he welcomed them, the interest he took in them and how generous he was when they came on holiday with us.

How lovely of your DDs friend to share such memories, those times must have been so special for her, I had a few 'safe' places too at times made all the difference.

An old school friend of mine (we're now in our 60s) often reminds me of how lovely and welcoming my mum was (her own mum used to have a lot of male "visitors" when the dad was at work)