Leaving your children alone overnight.

We left our DD’s and had a week away, in the UK when they were 15. They were sensible girls and knew the ‘no parties’ rule.
Left the fridge/ freezer stocked for them and some cash.They enjoyed themselves no end.

PinkCosmos

My parents went on holiday and left me alone for a week when I was 16. I was an only child but we had a dog.

At that time (1973) was into watching horror films and usually watched them with my dad. They were always on at 10.30 on a Friday night. Usually Hammer Horror or something similar

Anyway, whilst they were away, I watched a horror film on my own and frightened myself half to death. I was more scared of ghosts than a burglar or intruder. I went to bed with the light on all week and the dog in my room. I was fine during the day. Looking back it seems ridiculous now but I still get spooked by some horror films.

It's not ridiculous to get freaked by horror films. Some of them are really scary and much worse now. I wouldn't watch any of them, from what I've seen they are truly terrifying.

I watched a horror movie called Repulsion as a teenager which scared me half to death because I was alone. But the one that finished me was The Exorcist which I found really disturbing. So your advice should be not to watch a scary film if not used to being alone.

not so much children as young adults

Young adults normally enjoy the responsibility of being left alone for a while. It probably depends on how they’ve been brought up and whether they’ve been mollycoddled. Relatives of ours have two children in their early 20s who have barely left their parents’ side and still live at home with everything done for them. Youngsters have to be trusted and work things out for themselves sometimes otherwise the world becomes a fearful place.

It all depends on your child, but I would think 16 would be good average and work around it.

We left our DD overnight at 16. We said she could have 3 friends round if we knew who they were. She followed the rules and we knew all the friends. They did manage to break a chair, but it was already quite fragile.

My parents lived over seas when I was in my mid teens and my younger sister and I used to fly out to Malaya, virtually unsupervised. A una ccomanied minors we were nominally in the charge of the stewardess, but there always other much younger children on the flight with us and the stewardess kept a strict eye on them and left us two much to our own devices.

At 14 and (just )16 my sister and I dealt with plane breakdowns, nights in hotels and being groped by a baggage handler in Teheran. One of the aircrew( male) saw what happened and said quietly in my ear, 'if anyone attempts anything like that again, kick him in the balls'!

we left my daughter and her friend for 2 or 3 nights, they were 17 at the time, the house was tidy when we left, it was absolutely spanking clean when we returned, so we knew they'd had a party ..

I left my 16 year old alone for nearly a week. Emergency phone call that sibling had been blue lighted to hospital with meningitis in first term at uni. I rang school to check he had his key, left him some cash and left. He was fine.

I had my first child at 20. Only3 years on from 17. At 17 you are not a child.

I hitchhiked alone round Brittany aged 19 for a week with a rucksack and a map. I already had hitch hiked in the UK at 18 and found out how to avoid the subject or idea of sex coming up.
I think Dad would have had a fit if he had known, I was supposed to be staying with French friends.

I do admire those of you who had a child that early.
I wasn't mature enough in the ways that really matter for that, most definitely.

When I was teaching we would often hear from Sixth formers about parties being planned when parents were away. Sometimes we heard about the aftermath- too many friends, drinks cabinets raided, bathrooms trashed. Not the fault of the girl left alone ? Well she may not have done the damage but she did let her friends know that her parents were going to be away.

The world has changed hugely since most people here were young. Childhood definitely lasts longer now and parents hover protectively over their one or two children differently from when kids roamed freely from five and were having their own babies in their teens.
Some sensible kids would be fine left overnight, preferably with a sibling or friend, at about fifteen. They all have mobile phones to stay in touch.

pably15

we left my daughter and her friend for 2 or 3 nights, they were 17 at the time, the house was tidy when we left, it was absolutely spanking clean when we returned, so we knew they'd had a party ..

who can resist temptation ha ha

My parents used to regularly leave me home alone for weekends when I was 14,

When I was 18 I lived in an unsupervised student house at University

Maria59

I got married aged 17

Was that to avoid being left on your own at night

Me too maria59

I think it depends on the individual. My eldest son was grown up at 15 not that I left him but he was so responsible. Still the one I turn to for help and advice.

I would have happily left my daughter, who is calm and sensible, at home alone from about 16. Not my son though at that age, because he wasn’t. He would have been ringing me in a panic at 2am because he heard (non existent) footsteps downstairs, or flooded the dishwasher, or left the downstairs windows wide open all night . Thankfully he did grow out of that phase.

I started work at 15 years of age so being left at home on my own would not have bothered me. I was quite capable of looking after myself and used to travelling on public transport. I was not nor did I need to be mollycoddled.

Left my daughter for two weeks aged 16 ! All she did wrong was burn the egg poacher ! She didn’t know it required water! She is 45 soon so survived much worse!
I knew I could trust her at 16 ! I was running the home aged 14 as my mum had left and my dad was on shifts ! You have to give young people the opportunity to be responsible and adult !

We do have to parent our teens and prepare them for adult life. They won't wake up on their 18th birthday as responsible adults. Give them confidence and skills and then when you and they are ready let them have the responsibility. Don't let laws parent your teens, let your confidence building skills decide.

What about small children? We were horrified when visiting friends in Germany, mother a teacher in a grammar school, father an air accident investigator. They were relaxed about leaving their 18-month-old asleep in her cot while we went to their local for a drink. We told them they could be prosecuted in Britain for that, but they seemed to think it was normal.

I'm 70 now and my sister and I were locked in overnight while both parents worked nightshift together if their shifts clashed. I would have been about 14. Married at 18, mortgage at 19. I think at 16 that's a reasonable age to leave alone overnight, after all you can get a job at that age.

My 16 year old son went camping with his same age mate for 2 weeks.

Aged 15, I with both my parents full permission, they paid the tickets, travelled alone by plane from Glasgow to Copenhagen to stay with a family for three months and help out as nursemaid to their four little boys.

At 16, I went to finishing school in Copenhagen, for a full academic year, my parents were still living outside Glasgow- the following year I travelled alone to another Danish town to sit the entrance exam for the college I wished to attend to, and then took the train to Hamburg to visit a school-friend who was studying there.

Neither her nor my parents thought we were too young to do any of this, nor did any of my parents' friends voice any concerns.

No young person should leave home at 18 to study if they have never been staying anywhere alone.

All they need to stay alone in their own home for a couple of days, is the phone number to the police, fire brigade and ambulance services and to adult friends of their parents whom they can phone if they become scared or run into problems, plus the sense to keep the house doors locked after dark and to disconnect obscene phone calls pronto.

At sixteen I could have married if I had wanted to. I didn't, but more than once if my mother had popped down to the shops, I answered the phone, and on one occasion was so certain when I heard what was wrong that the patient could not wait until my father came in, that I phoned for an ambulance for the patient - and it transpired I was right to do so.

I suspect that the majority of us over 60s were working full time at 15/16 , I myself was working going to work as a temp travelling all over London with an A-Z for directions. I would be appalled if anyone thought any of my children were too immature to be left home alone at 16. Many older people complain that the younger generation are ‘snowflakes’, it’s this helicopter parenting attitude that contributes to this I feel.