Leaving your children alone overnight.

I think many posters are forgetting the impact that covid had on children and teens. I know the impact of isolation for 16 months with only mum and (vulnerable) dad for company greatly affected the social and emotional development of our then 16 and 17 year old. During what ought to have been a formative time for him, he didn’t see anyone else, let alone anyone of his own age. That was bound to have negative effects and it did. At 22, he’s finally catching up but it took time.

My mother left me babysitting my sister (five years younger) at the age of ten. She and dad went to the pub most Fridays and Sundays.

I was told to go to bed, put the light out and sleep. I waited until they had got round the corner, went down to the kitchen to get biscuits, put the electric blanket on full and read until well after ten.

Sometimes I'd watch TV. I also remember reading the 'News of the World' from cover to cover. The Manson Murders were pretty gruesome reading for a primary school child.

My friend and hubby left their 17yr old son alone.
He had a huge party (he sold tickets to it .... an entrepeneur in the making !).
House was a tip, and they even found the clothes pole on the roof . Lol

Yep that does happen -it’s fairly common

Hi Sago,
Maybe your friend who was worried about leaving her seventeen year old alone in house for a few hours was really worrying her own, or lack of, parenting skills.
It reminds me of one of my then teenage daughter’s capers. She would have been about sixteen or seventeen when she and her best friend had a party while I was away. Probably partying myself. They didn’t actually tell me about this party until some years later. The two of them systematically took pics of every room in the house and then locked the valuables and breakables in the room we used as a junk room. Apparently they had a whale of a time and I believe the police only turned up once. Daughter had warned neighbours that they were going to party and that they were welcome to pop in for a pint or two of snakebite!! On my return I thought they looked a bit second hand but nothing was mentioned and life carried on. After some years had passed this story was retold while we were all reminiscing about what we got up to as teenagers. My headstrong goth teenager is now a very well qualified and much respected art psychotherapist and her friend is a literary agent. To this day I haven’t told them that I knew what they had got up to. How did I know? Well the house hadn’t been that clean and tidy since we moved in shortly after my husband’s sudden death a few years earlier. Everything was per the pics in their phones, most of the windows were open to get rid of the stale smell as good as any proper old fashioned public bar! The absolute final give away was the washing inexpertly blowing in the wind in our small walled garden. If I ever do let them know that I knew, I would compliment them on their forward thinking and respect for our home. That day I recognised that I had got SOMETHING right and by not saying anything I let them think they had got a “win” , as they say in America

When my son was sixteen he was invited to come with me to the States for a holiday with my boyfriend and his daughter who was just a few months younger than him.
She pulled out due to pressure of exams and he asked whether he could just stay home alone instead.
As he had always proved sensible and responsible and wasn't one for alcohol and parties anyway I eventually agreed and gave him the money that the flights would have cost.
I informed his girlfriend's parents that I was going to be away for 10 days.
We kept in touch by Skype (no WhatsApp in those days!) and when I returned the house was clean, the laundry done AND IRONED and a cup of tea waiting for me on my return when I phoned him from the station bus stop to say I was on my way!
He did admit that he only washed up when he had used practically everything but in this case what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over!
I had always tried to bring him up to be self-sufficient and independent (i.e. not to expect a female to do everything for him once he was able to do things himself!) and he often used to cook for me if I was working late.