Dads

My father never read to me. My mother did occasionally until I went to school. They were quite distant as parents. Once my mother went to work, when I was about nine, I came home from school to an empty house. After a week at work, including
some evenings and Saturday mornings, my mother didn’t want to do much. My father sometimes took me out for walks and cycle runs, but there was no conversation. They weren’t abusive, but weren’t interested in what I was doing or how I was feeling. They grew up in large families where there would have been little personal attention, so they carried this forward, sadly.

Neither bothered. I was "fed and watered" and otherwise ignored. Dad worked hard and mum was not that way.

We moved when DS was 8, and they thought he was backward, so I did a remedial reading tutoring and understanding learning difficulties courses sponsored by his school. He was NOT backward, it was just a different way of teaching phonics & spelling in bilingual schools - it comes after 8. He picked up from reading age 6 to 12 in 8 weeks of paired reading and insertion techniques.
When DD started reading I did the same out of habit, so sadly her mild dyslexia was masked, until picked up by her college.

I now volunteer in my local school (plug for Schoolreaders, who need volunteers, to just pop in and hear children read - no skills needed except an ability to sit and listen)

I remember once when visiting parents-in-law with our three year old (only grandchild to them). She wanted granddad to read her a story which he was very willing to do and delighted in the opportunity. When she sat on his knee, with the chosen book, grandma put a stop to it saying " I don't think you should do that, after all you never know what you might be accused of these days" I was flabbergasted. Did she think our 3 year old would accuse him of inappropriate behaviour? Did she think that I would or her son? My father in law was the nicest man by the way.

I was an orphan at four. I went to live with my mother’s brother and his younger second wife. I lived there for nine years and he never spoke to me once!

Annofarabia

I was an orphan at four. I went to live with my mother’s brother and his younger second wife. I lived there for nine years and he never spoke to me once!

Good grief! That sounds impossible! I am sorry that this was your experience of childhood.

I realised this generation of men was badly affected by the trauma their fathers had to endure. Although their mothers had to suffer the effects of war, it was the men who were expected to face the first hand horror of it. Of course their sons would grow up with second had trauma and often without male figures around them whilst growing up. The daughters also would have grown up with the expectation that men 'provided' and that women did the caring.

I realised this generation of men was badly affected by the trauma their fathers had to endure
In the main, I think the fathers we are discussing on this thread were of an age to serve in WW2
Mine served in WW1 as well.

He was still kind and caring.

My grandfathers served in ww1, my father a royal marine on the Mediterranean fleet. All involved in active service, dad in the invasion of Sicily
They were kind, gentle men. They observed Remembrance together. They were good role models in our family

My father was from Southern Ireland so didn't serve in the war. His family were kind, gentle farming people. Then there was him.

Kate1949

My 'dad' was a violent, abusive, drunken, horrible man. The thought of him reading to or playing with us is laughable.

So was my father.I know exactly what you mean.

More of us than you think pinkprincess

Carbonated

I realised this generation of men was badly affected by the trauma their fathers had to endure. Although their mothers had to suffer the effects of war, it was the men who were expected to face the first hand horror of it. Of course their sons would grow up with second had trauma and often without male figures around them whilst growing up. The daughters also would have grown up with the expectation that men 'provided' and that women did the caring.

I think this is nonsense. To begin with, many men called up in the services did not actually see any action. An army, navy or airforce has a huge tail of logistics, with as many people in it, if not far more , who keep them moving, fed, supplied with vehicles, food, clothes ammunition, medicaal care, transport etc. It includes people who build airstrips, lay water mains, build roads and load and load stores of boats and planes and trains.

Then there are the men wh are not called up because they are in the reserved occupations or cannot serve for other reasons.

Then there were all the women who served in some form in the forces or land army or building weapons, or nursing in hospitals or making bread. Many of these were married women and nurseries were built to look after their children.

Yes, there were fatherless families, but I doubt it was any worse than it is now. As for a generation of women growing up thinking their job is to care. I just pre-date the Boomer genration, but only by a year or two and it was, the war baby, as we were called, and the boomer generation women who were the break out generation demanding jobs and equality with men, moving into professions like law and finance - and engineering and staying or returning to it after they had children.
For most of my working life, I was a pioneer in

My dad was born in 1934, and orphaned in 39, just before second World War. He was brought up by neighbours who adored him and treated him a a son. Education was important to him- he was the dux of his school. I don't remember him reading to me- someone must have because i could read before I went to school. What he did do, was take my younger brother and me to the library every Saturday morning without fail and modelled a reading environment at home. I miss him to this day

I think this is nonsense. To begin with, many men called up in the services did not actually see any action.

As a long-term serviceman, my DF did see action but it did not mean that any action and trauma he endured changed his personality. He was still a quiet, kind and loving man.

How sad for some, actually quite a few, gransnetters. To have missed out on loving parents. That is so sad. My dad was a serial womaniser and it made my mum very unhappy but to us children they were just mum and dad and we had a good childhood in spite of their unhappiness. They were fabulous on the dance floor together however, magical to watch. Even after they divorced and married other people they’d still dance beautifully together.