Die Quietly and Don’t Cause Much Bother

I dont hoard and i declutter regularly, but im alive and will enjoy my bits around me whilst i am, im sure my family are quite capable of disposing of my bits and bobs when i pop off !

None of my stuff is "old-fashioned" anyway - other than my landline phones would be considered to be I'd say.

I am actually wondering whether I ought to make an amendment to my will in the event - given that I've got a local friend here who I know will take anything she's given and find a use for it (at least if it's to do with gardening) and she'd be going round my garden and through my gardening bookshelves and find a use for all sorts from that and my stuff in that direction would probably land up finding a home halfway round the town. I'm sure foodstuffs would probably land up getting rerouted if unopened to the local foodbank or a community meal or something.

One way or another she'd do her best to find a home for things LOL...

I was highly astonished and amused when I first moved here and put an old baby cooker that had been left in the house out for disposal and not just one...but two...of the workmen I had in asked for it. So first one to ask got it...and I learnt pretty quickly to offer anything I was getting rid of and most of the time someone wants it...well at least things often go to good use if I don't require them any more...

I inherited some of my Nan grandad and parents stuff any that I think is of value but not in use, I ve put in one cupboard and any in use, I ve put a sticker on the bottom The rest can just go the only things I d like someone to take over are my boxes of family history, all done long before the internet. I hope one of the grandkids would want it, My paintings/ drawings not a huge lot and my albums of photos and post card collection
P c’s can have value

I've told my children to take what they want and then get a house clearance service to take everything else.
I'm sure between them they can manage my two bedroom flat. It would have been much harder if I hadn't downsized from my much larger house.

To me - the whole process of coming to the end of your life has become something which is thoroughly unpleasant.

Sell off all your treasures to Vintage Cash Cow and then opt for one of the cheap cremation plans which are rammed down our throats during commercial breaks.

It makes me laugh to hear that they can celebrate your life in their own way .

This seems a sadly negative thread.
Just because nobody wants much if our "stuff" doesn't mean we aren't loved.

Don't forget that when we die we are at a different life stage than our children - and with different houses and different history.
It's inevitable that we like different things.

The dinner service we started collecting when we married - which is really beautiful and all the family love - is not one that's really quite so useful to families today with it's tureen and gravy boats and tiny tea plates. Today they don't want the same formality and why would they?

I don't think anyone in my family has the spare cupboard space - I know three don't, the fourth is in America and the fifth may have the space but probably wouldn't use much of it.

I have moved the dinner plates into the kitchen. If the pattern washes off in the dishwasher, we'll at least I have enjoyed using it!

Sorry Esmay but that all sounds perfect to me. (Not using VCC though).

Nice post Wyllow It's a funny old business loss, grief and stuff.

I have a box full I managed to gather from my family home before relatives cleared it. It's a rag tag collection of bits, I'm not sure what to do with any of it really.

If you derive pleasure from the things that you own, regardless of whether or not they are of any practical use to you Fran and you want to keep them, then do so.

We drastically downsized 18 months ago and as a result got rid of a huge amount but did so because that's what we wanted. Our son lives in Aus. and we were living in a huge 4/5 bedroom town house that neither of us wanted the other to have to deal with when one of us died.

We made that decision for ourselves and any decision you make should be for you.

I went to a funeral on Monday, it was the H of a friend.
He had been a very sporty man and had played rugby to a high standard.
There were no flowers but upon the coffin were a rugby ball and scarves and shirts kept from his clubs.
I said to my friend I hoped she had retrieved them but she said she didn’t want them back, just told the Funeral director .to just dispose of them.
I thought that was sad.

Georgesgran -

We all have different ideas .
I respect your opinion .

Some of mine have developed over the frankly appalling way - my kids treated their grandfather over the last three years of his life.

I used to watch him howl with pain over it .
Visiting him became a " bore "and "not fun.."
I feel tearful even writing about it.
I never thought that they were capable of being so callous .
He may have been strict and old fashioned ,but he was very generous,loving and kind towards them .

I wasn't impressed at his funeral.
One didn't even turn up.

^I’m slowly but steadily minimising stuff in the hope of making it all easier for my adult children. We cleared our parents and my in laws homes and it sharpened my understanding of what an emotionally and practically demanding task it is.m
^

That is what I am doing too.
To be fair to your children, it is a big task.

Personally, I dont have "stuff" they are going to want, on the whole.

As for "blow it all", why not blow some op , if you want to.

I moved 6 years ago after my OH died, so was forced to sort a lot of stuff out.

My rule when looking at things was: will my children look at this and think what the bloody hell can we do with it!? If it fell into that category then it went unless it was something I valued.

I used Freecycle a lot and the items were greatly appreciated by those who took them. Some on low incomes, and some students.

Ziplok

I have no intention of getting rid of my possessions in order to make house clearance easier for someone else upon my demise.
I occasionally have a clear out of things I no longer use, but with regard to furniture, crockery, pictures, etc - these form part of my home. They give me pleasure, and I’m not suddenly going to fall out of love with these things just because I am closer to the end of my life than I once was, or think “I’d better get rid of some of my things” to make it easier for others to clear my house once I’m gone. If family members decide they don’t want any of my “stuff” once I’m gone, they can get the house clearance people in.

Well said Ziplock and I feel just the same, I shall enjoy what I have until the day I die.
There will be a house to sell and split the proceeds and it’s up to my AC to take what they want, sell other things and give some to charity shops.

That is SO sad Esmay.
I would also feel bad. Fortunately I haven't experienced this but would feel mortified as you do.

I think we all hope we can hold on to the love of our families at least.

Thinking of you.

We inherited some vintage cameras from my FiL, he was an avid photographer and had early Kodak brownies among other makes as well as Pentax and Olympus cameras. We left it in boxes until last year and thought if we advertised them we would be inundated but we couldn’t even give them away, we tried vintage cash cow but they would only accept a few if we included other things of value. A friend took them to a charity to see if they could put them on eBay as list charities do these days.
Am wondering how many ended up being binned.

Fran

My parent's house was FULL - lots of beautiful things but chock full. They died in 1992.
My husband's aunt died the same year. We had box loads from there too.. and still have lots of it in boxes ... it MUST go!

Lots of the furniture from both houses went to auction - where pennies were realised - if it was today the auctioneer I spoke to this week said he wouldn't have been able to sell it now.

Obviously I wouldn't buy the same things now as we bought when we married! Neither will our children's or our grandchildren's generations.
Very sad that such well made and well-loved pieces are of no interest to anyone anymore.
If I can gift things over the next couple of years I will do it. And we won't bring much from my mother-in-law's house home to "clutter us up" even more.

We don’t keep things for ‘best’ any more, if we enjoy them we use them daily, if we don’t then they go off to the Charity shop. But I photograph it first and if one of the family wants it or thinks they can sell it, they take it away.

We had a big clear out last year when we thought we were moving, now I have a pack of different coloured stickers, each AC and GCs will pick a colour and stick the dot on what they want, then when we both go, they can take it, anything without a dot I can safely get rid of if I’m in my clear out mood. We’ve also told them that whatever they personally bought us, they get back when we have gone.

Sounds easy enough doesn’t it!

I am still using the beautiful Edwardian white cotton bead spreads given to me by a departed Aunt. She inherited them from her husband’s mother’s effects.
Guests often comment on them. I hope they’ll go to a collector of textiles when I’m gone ( or maybe before), either through a charity shop or on line auction.

Fallingstar

We inherited some vintage cameras from my FiL, he was an avid photographer and had early Kodak brownies among other makes as well as Pentax and Olympus cameras. We left it in boxes until last year and thought if we advertised them we would be inundated but we couldn’t even give them away, we tried vintage cash cow but they would only accept a few if we included other things of value. A friend took them to a charity to see if they could put them on eBay as list charities do these days.
Am wondering how many ended up being binned.

Sad to say, a lot 😥
I wonder how many people realise that it costs the charities money to dispose of unwanted/ can’t sell items.
There has been many times when our skip has been full and I have to take up these un wanted items to the local tip.
So that costs me money.

Following my recent illness I am now decluttering like mad.
The dinner table and chairs have gone to a good home; I'm emptying cupboards as fast as I can and going to charity shops with decent stuff. Books are the most difficult, so it's just a few at a time around various charity shops
Being ill at my age is a good kick up the pants reminder to just get on with it.

I had to clear out my parents 'house while they were still alive, and that was horrible, having to get rid of things they had treasured but were of no value or I didn't have room to house. I still have my mother's Coalport china which she treasured and collected year after year but I already have two of my own, which I use and enjoy.

My Mum died 32 years ago. Dad 12 years ago. When my brother and I cleared the house we told each other and our children to choose what they would like. Each of us choose ( without consultation) just one small thing that meant something to us. Mine was a cake knife that evoked very happy memories of childhood Sunday tea times. The others all chose things with similar sentiment.
We did keep photo albums and some scrapbooks that documented many family occasions
None of us wanted furniture or linen and there really wasn’t anything of real monetary value.

One of my friends had a glass unit full of Royal Doulton “ladies “
I don’t know who remembers those, they were very delicate ,pastel models of ladies in crinoline type dresses.
Expensive to buy but absolutely worthless today.
I think of all the money spent on such things, Wedgewood, Ladro, my own favourite was Crown Derby paperweights, all now unwanted.
I don’t think they will ever be back in fashion.