A surfeit of memorial benches

Im sure that some places are oversubscribed but the places we go you can never find one when we need to sit down.
Another first world problem

We have quite a few non memorial benches in the town and all age groups use them not just oldies. And outside the large supermarket the boxed square surrounds to the several trees are wide enough to sit on and were made as seating. They do have those uncomfortable metal bumps on them to prefent you lying down.

They don’t really have that trend here, probably no one has thought of it. There are not that many benches around really, I can’t actually think of any round here except a couple in local parks. The other extreme I suppose because we could do with a couple more here and there. In the shopping centres they have them ( not memorial ones ) but mostly they want you to go in a cafe and spend money !

Personally, I like reading the plaques on benches, seeing who they are in memory of.

But I also wander around graveyards, reading the inscriptions on them.

My DH thinks it’s morbid, but there are some lovely quotes on many of them.

I also think there’s no place for tacky plastic flowers, ornaments, teddy bears ….

One of the reasons I had a memorial bench put beside my Dad’s grave was that Mum wanted to visit every week and she was mid80s when he died. It was a long walk from the car park to the grave and she was exhausted by the time we got up there. Having the bench meant she could sit down and have a leisurely rest and say a prayer or two.

Many other visitors were very elderly too and said they found it very handy and, of course, being local they all remembered my Dad.

When Mum died I replaced the bench and had the headstone inscribed with her name too and the brass plaque on the bench.

likewise

My kids have been under instruction for years to never ever buy a bench in my memory.

Wish there were more benches in remote spots. Sometimes can’t find anywhere to sit that isn’t wet and soggy

If you are looking for a way to memorialise someone the British Heart Foundation have a sculpture which you can have a loved one's name engraved on. It is in the Meadowhall Shopping centre near Sheffield. I gave a donation to them for my dad's name to be included and I went to see it when travelling nearby. They provide you with the numbered listing so you can find your details, though it took me a while to locate the correct plate. It seemed a good way to remember him as he died after a heart attack.

ViceVersa

Oreo

That’s your super logical side coming out M0nica… lots of people do like the sense of continuity and feeling connection to others through named plaques, benches and even wandering around an English churchyard reading the inscriptions there.

I like that too. I love a wander around a graveyard - especially the old ones - and reading all the inscriptions.
I wonder if memorial benches have become more popular now that more and more people are being cremated rather than buried, so loved ones maybe feel that a bench gives them somewhere to go and remember the deceased as they won't have an actual grave or headstone. I'm not saying that would be my choice, but if that might be one possible reason for the proliferation of benches now.

Yes, good thinking, ViceVersa

That might well be the case.

Is it though? For as long as I can remember, there have been memorial benches with plaques on them. Maybe not as many as there are now, but I can remember even as a small child walking along Princes Street in Edinburgh and reading all the plaques on the benches there.

Graveyards and cemeteries are where these memorials should be and very attractivethey are two and there is a lto of social hitory to be learnt from them, but lots of little bits of brass with a name and some anodyne wish left lying around pleasnt places are not.

This putting plates on everything is avery modern hobby. When my father died after being wonderfully looked after in hospital for several months while he died, as a thaank you for that care I bought, or rather paid for a table in a small garden in the courtyard of a new building. I was aked what I wanted written on the plate that would adorn it. I told them I wanted no plate at all. I could not imagine that anyone recovering from illness in the uiet graden of a hospital would want to be surroundd with chairs and tables with dedication plates to those who had died in the hospital.

Oreo

That’s your super logical side coming out M0nica… lots of people do like the sense of continuity and feeling connection to others through named plaques, benches and even wandering around an English churchyard reading the inscriptions there.

I like that too. I love a wander around a graveyard - especially the old ones - and reading all the inscriptions.
I wonder if memorial benches have become more popular now that more and more people are being cremated rather than buried, so loved ones maybe feel that a bench gives them somewhere to go and remember the deceased as they won't have an actual grave or headstone. I'm not saying that would be my choice, but if that might be one possible reason for the proliferation of benches now.

That’s your super logical side coming out M0nica… lots of people do like the sense of continuity and feeling connection to others through named plaques, benches and even wandering around an English churchyard reading the inscriptions there.

RosiesMawagain

Greciangirl

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches.

Far too many to count.

I understand why people put them there, but it does look somewhat littered.

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches

Littered?.

I don’t suppose it has occurred to you that some people might like to sit on one of these benches perhaps near a loved one’s grave and remember happier days!

Our village churchyard has three benches each looking out over surrounding fields. I have been known to sit there and reflect and remember.
It is a lovely peaceful place.

No one is objecting to benches available for anyone who may need them to sit upon. It is the excess of these benches and them being dressed up like shrines with garlands flowers, soft toys, that then make them unsittable on. that are the problems.

I quite like knowing that generations of people have sat and enjoyed the same view that I am enjoying. It brings a sense of continuity.

But why do you need plaques to remind you of this. If you are on a pier that was built 150 years ago, it is self evident that people have been enjoying it that long, and usually local giftshops will have copies of old pictures showing the pier inthe past with people walking, sitting and standing non the pier.

valdavi

I have always thought memorial benches are rather nice, but surely it wouldn't be too difficult to stipulate that if they're in a public place & not on private land they should not be used as a shrine (no flowers etc placed there).
The original idea was that it would be a memento of someone in one of their favourite spots, lovely for the family and useful for the public.
If a council need to introduce a waiting list because there are too many, then that's their prerogative.But making sure the existing ones are available to be used as benches would be a good first step.

Good comment.

But then, I was always one of those children who used to read all the notices on buses!

I might read the plaques and wonder about Muriel Smith, John Bloggs et al.

M0nica

YorkLady

As a regular visitor to Whitby, I don’t recognise the description of the benches crammed together that you have to weave through them.
Yes there are quite a few near the Royal Hotel, lots of people use them to rest and eat there, admiring the view.
It’s a relaxing spot to gather your breath after the climb up the steps from the harbour.

My experience is about 10 years old. But then there were so many benches on the headland by the Royal hotel, where we were staying that you did have to weave between them. My count stopped at 67 when I was about 2/3rds round.

I think councils should assess the need for benches in any given area, allowing for easy excess and benches not interfering in other uses of the area - small children running round and playing, picnics etc and then allow that number of benches only and for a stated number of years. In popular areas it could be for only 5 years, longer in other areas.

To be honest, I really do not understand this modern fashion for needing to place named memnorials everywhere. These places may be special to a family because a member who has died loved the area. But they are meaningless to every one else.

To walk past memorial after memorial 'Murial Smith loved the view', 'John Bloggs sat here' Spot the dog ....... Dave Doll stood her. I find off putting and depressing. I never knew these people, their names mean nothing to 99.9%ofhe people who walk past them. They are special to the family, they know where their relative used to sit, why do they need to leave a label?

Don't walk down Clevedon pier, M0nica!!

There are 16,000+ plaques along there.

I quite like knowing that generations of people have sat and enjoyed the same view that I am enjoying. It brings a sense of continuity.

The more benches the better for me at the moment!

Greciangirl

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches.

Far too many to count.

I understand why people put them there, but it does look somewhat littered.

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches

Littered?.

I don’t suppose it has occurred to you that some people might like to sit on one of these benches perhaps near a loved one’s grave and remember happier days!

Our village churchyard has three benches each looking out over surrounding fields. I have been known to sit there and reflect and remember.
It is a lovely peaceful place.

YorkLady

As a regular visitor to Whitby, I don’t recognise the description of the benches crammed together that you have to weave through them.
Yes there are quite a few near the Royal Hotel, lots of people use them to rest and eat there, admiring the view.
It’s a relaxing spot to gather your breath after the climb up the steps from the harbour.

My experience is about 10 years old. But then there were so many benches on the headland by the Royal hotel, where we were staying that you did have to weave between them. My count stopped at 67 when I was about 2/3rds round.

I think councils should assess the need for benches in any given area, allowing for easy excess and benches not interfering in other uses of the area - small children running round and playing, picnics etc and then allow that number of benches only and for a stated number of years. In popular areas it could be for only 5 years, longer in other areas.

To be honest, I really do not understand this modern fashion for needing to place named memnorials everywhere. These places may be special to a family because a member who has died loved the area. But they are meaningless to every one else.

To walk past memorial after memorial 'Murial Smith loved the view', 'John Bloggs sat here' Spot the dog ....... Dave Doll stood her. I find off putting and depressing. I never knew these people, their names mean nothing to 99.9%ofhe people who walk past them. They are special to the family, they know where their relative used to sit, why do they need to leave a label?

What a brilliant post! Thank you. Every time we go do a walk on the coast these benches that are covered plastic flowers and other tar make me angry. There's no where to sit down because there's no room on the benches and the entire place looks like some weird cemetery. Yes, attaching things to the benches should be banned for sure. This includes fresh flowers that die and are left there brown and shriveled. Awful.

I dont mind memorial benches in moderation, but Councils needs to control the numbers, placement and ban anything that turns them into a shrine. Surely you buy a bench so that people can sit on it, not so that you can load it with flowers and tat.

I have always thought memorial benches are rather nice, but surely it wouldn't be too difficult to stipulate that if they're in a public place & not on private land they should not be used as a shrine (no flowers etc placed there).
The original idea was that it would be a memento of someone in one of their favourite spots, lovely for the family and useful for the public.
If a council need to introduce a waiting list because there are too many, then that's their prerogative.But making sure the existing ones are available to be used as benches would be a good first step.

YorkLady

As a regular visitor to Whitby, I don’t recognise the description of the benches crammed together that you have to weave through them.
Yes there are quite a few near the Royal Hotel, lots of people use them to rest and eat there, admiring the view.
It’s a relaxing spot to gather your breath after the climb up the steps from the harbour.

Those are the ones I mean.