A surfeit of memorial benches

We have benches like this in a park near us, most have bunches of flowers attached, candles, soft toys, and other paraphernalia, it means we have to search for an unencumbered bench because I hate having to sit on a shrine, also there isn’t that much room. Surely by dedicating the bench loved ones are encouraging people to sit awhile and spare a thought for the departed person named on the plaque.

Don't people have to get permission? I wouldn't have thought you can put down a bench anywhere you please.
Designated places such as cemeteries are where benches could be sited. I would welcome a sit down when I go tending family graves.
I bought and pay maintenance on a bench in memory of my Grandfather. It is on the banks of the River Tame at the National Memorial Arboretum. I had to apply through the proper channels.
I have to agree with Hartlepool Council but they will be roundly slated for it.

I have also noticed a great deal of change in cemeteries lately too. Where my grandparents and parents are buried everywhere used to be neat and well kept. Now many graves are, quite literally, covered with flowers and ornaments - many made of plastic. They look hideous.

It’s one thing to site a bench in memory of a loved one, especially somewhere they holidayed, ‘Mum loved it here’, but as the years go by, who pays to have it cleaned, varnished, maintained…..?

I’m not a fan of memorial benches

I suppose it would be difficult to do anything about the existing benches as they have been paid for. I looked up the Scarborough council memorial benches website. And it says you can buy a bench/seat for £1500.00 which includes delivery, installation and maintenance for 10 years. It didnt say what happens to the maintenance charge after 10 years.
You can also pay just for a bronze plaque to be attached to a council seat for £750.00 for 5 years of maintenance.
So that could be the way to go for future memorials a plaque on an exisitng council owned seat. Or on an existing privately owned bench if the owners wanted to sell or pass the bench on.
And decorating the bench should be banned. To have a bench which cannot be sat on in a public place is madness.

But doesn't the city or town council have to approve these? I didn't read the whole article, but it seems like the town got a bit greedy for the fees without thinking of the practicality or long-term future of these benches.

Our town has put a hold on applications because there really is no need for more benches in public spaces.

In the last 20-30 years, people have veered away from graveyard burials, but still feel the need to memorialize their loved ones on some permanent feature. Our town put up memorial sections along the sea-wall where you can purchase a plaque which we have done for MIL and FIL. The grandchildren can remember their great grandparents any time they walk by, which is nice, but not maudlin.

I’m a great fan of benches, memorial or not!

We have a bench with a plaque for my brother. It is harbourside looking out to sea - when he had cancer he and his wife often used to sit there, Summer or Winter, watching the boats. When he died his wife had a plaque put on. When we visit we often sit there and chat about him. I certainly never thought of it as some sort of shrine, to be decorated. It doesn't belong to us anyway.

I thought about a bench but in the end went for a tree. Got in touch with the local council and they told us which trees they were planting and where so I bought one and have a plaque saying it’s in memory of DH. He loved trees and watching this one grow is a good feeling.

There’s been a bench at the top of a chalk pit meadow where many locals walk, for the thirty-plus years I’ve lived here. It’s never had a plaque nor any suggestion that it’s a memorial, I the past few weeks it’s been decorated with hanging plant pots on the back and arms, and painted stones around the concrete base. I don’t feel able to sit there now to pause and enjoy the view. I don’t think public spaces should be used for personal memorials.

I agree doodle. Planting a tree is a lovely idea and to watch it grow will be nice. A memorial bench is lovely too but should not have teddies, toys, flowers etc around it. Keep it as it is, a place for others to sit peacefully and give a thought on the person whose name is on the plaque

When I last visited my grandparents grave, which was some considerable time ago, there were lots of benches but you were unable to sit on any of them as they were completely covered in flowers, ribbons, teddy bears, photos etc. They look so messy.

Planting something living and growing sounds just right to me.

Years and years ago when I was in Cornwall, I can’t remember exactly where, somewhere not far from the Eden project, anyway a walk along the cliffs and I bumped into dozens of benches, all dedicated to a variety of swimmers, water skiers etc who had lost their lives near that spot.
I remembering thinking then there were way too many, goodness knows how many there are today!

You can barely walk along the seafront for memorial benches at Deal, in Kent. Yes, a few are nice, but that many? They are about 2m apart. At least they are only placed on one side of the pier. The other side is mercifully bench-free.
Surely, if there were just a few, with dozens of plaques, it would be more appealing.
Yes, town councils are greedy for the fees, but replacement fees are very lucrative too…

Trees instead, I agree !

I love the benches in Whitby where they overlook the sea. As far as I remember, they're not decorated at all, and I always spare a thought for the people they commemorate.

As a regular visitor to Whitby, I don’t recognise the description of the benches crammed together that you have to weave through them.
Yes there are quite a few near the Royal Hotel, lots of people use them to rest and eat there, admiring the view.
It’s a relaxing spot to gather your breath after the climb up the steps from the harbour.

There was a bench on a stretch of the Pembrokeshire coast path that DH and I used to make a point of making use of. It wasn’t anything fancy - no back or arms, just a timber seat and a fair walk from any access point to the path - but we loved the view as much as the man it was dedicated to, whose name was Arthur, and when we walked that stretch, we always headed for Arthur’s bench to eat our lunch.

It just seems a very odd thing over anyone get 'freaked out' over to me. As long as they're not causing a physical obstruction on paths etc, I don't see the harm in benches and if local authorities have to give permission for them, then they can limit the numbers. If people are concerned about the proliferation of benches in a particular area, they can always complain to the authority in question.

When a friend of mine died a plaque was fixed to a bench he used to sit on every day in the country park. It said simply "sit awhile and think of me" which I do quite often.
He would have strongly disapproved of flowers or ornaments attached to the bench.
I think Doodledog's tree is the best idea. A living thing that will grow and not need much maintenance.

Our seafront is backed by long clifftop walks and you can barely move for benches. As well as our shopping street and pretty much anywhere else where there's a space.

It's the responsibility of the owner to keep them in good order, but realistically as time goes by this just doesn't happen. Then the upkeep has to be taken over by the town or parish council and they don't have the budgets or the resources to look after 100's of benches.

That's why we're seeing a gradual reduction of benches being approved.

At one time there weren’t enough benches provided by Councils and older people had to struggle along without a sit down.The only ones available were those on seafronts or in parks.
So am all for extra benches but not piled with dying bunches of flowers, or fake ones or candles etc.Tbh I have only seen that happen a couple of times and it was possibly at the anniversary of a person’s death.
The Council should be monitoring how many benches there are but if not then email them about it, as sometimes they need problems bringing to their attention these days…