A funeral question…

jusnoneed

No. I rarely go to funerals but my partner will go off to ones for people he hasn't seen or had contact with for years. I always think that's odd, if you don't see someone while they are alive why go to their funeral?

I agree with this but would go with my Husband if specifically asked.
Last year an ex work colleague of my Husband died and the funeral was 200 miles away. He felt he should go as other ex colleagues would be going. I pointed out that they had no contact during the last 6 years so what would be the point. In the end he sent a card and charity donation to the family.

I wouldnt.

But etiquette, apart from anything else, is different in other Countries.

Funerals aren,t for the dead ,they are for the people left behind who loved them.If turning up to a funeral of someone you haven’t seen in decades gives comfort to his family I,d go….and have.
It’s not unusual for churches to be overflowing here and only 30 will go to the purvey.
Families are on the whole happy to see a “ good turnout” For their loved ones
Maybe it’s just us though……there’s a big Irish Scottish mix here and funerals are social occasions.

No, not unless specifically asked.

Scribbles

I would only go if my partner specifically asked me to - because it was a close friend and he felt he needed my support.

Yes, me too.

My friend (the hypochondriac) used to be in sole charge of a very specialist Government office. She’s still on the intranet and goes to all of the funerals if she can. She reckons they’ll all have known her at some point, even if she can’t remember them! She came with me to my lovely friend’s funeral and I had to explain to the family later who she was - embarrassing!

I would accompany them on the journey but go my own way near the venue, then meet up later.

This happened to me earlier this year. It was a friend he'd met at university over 40 years ago, in Oxford. We live in the North of England now. He kept in touch with that whole group of friends and I would sometimes visit with him, or they would visit us. They aren't in any way close tho, just friends who shared an interest in going to festivals. But I hadn't seen the deceased in over 20 years, and really couldn't face the 450 mile round trip, so decided not to go. He would have preferred me there, both for the drive and the funeral, but he understood it was asking a lot.

I would if my partner wished it and he would do the same.
I've been to a few funerals of people I didn't know, when a Sunday School teacher quite active in the church . The Vicar asked us as support for relatives of local old people ...or if there were no other attendants, such as an old man that no one liked apart from the warden at his sheltered housing..

I definitely wouldn’t go unless my DH asked me to. I loathe funerals and swerve them if possible which is why I’m not having one.

I don't go to any funeral, celebration of life unless I actually knew the person. Perhaps if someone felt they may be very emotional at the event I would accompany them if asked.

Your question doesn't add up as your going anyway you say

Unless I also knew the person or my husband asked me to go I would stay at home. I wouldn't expect him to come with me to a funeral if he did'nt know that person.

Like others, I wouldn’t go unless my husband especially wanted me to.

Only if he really wanted me to, can’t bear funerals so generally don’t attend.

Ask him if he wants you to go,as you did not know him...

In the end I did go. We do tend to go together to these things. It wasn't a funeral, but a memorial, or celebration of life.

There were quite a few people there, and we ended up at a round table of people that we both knew, so I was fine. There wasn't much mingling involved, and I stayed at the table while my DH gave condolences to the family.

It would depend on whether it was local. A friend of DH died and lived 150 miles away so I went too and we had a couple of days away. I have been with him to funerals of work colleagues and he has been with me to funerals of people I know and he didn’t. We support each other.