Have you got to this stage of life ?

Sorry to hear about your husband’s fall Madmeg. What a shock that must have been.

Your account of how much it costs to have carers in every day to help, just emphasises how savings can vanish in the blink of an eye, even for limited help at home.

I hope things get back to normal once your husband has properly healed from falling over, and that he regains his confidence.

I inherited a small but life changing amount of money a couple of years ago. I decided to invest the majority of it to provide a monthly income but I kept a “nibbling fund” back.
For the first two years I was reluctant to spend any of it but I gave myself a good talking to and realised that I couldn’t take it with me.
I’m now enjoying doing so many of the things that I have always wanted to do. Hiking holidays abroad, renting a house in Portugal for 6 weeks and inviting friends and family to stay. I’ve made improvements to my house, new roof and carpets, a gym membership with a weekly personal trainer and cleaners once every couple of weeks. I am 71.
I’m now planning a trip of a lifetime to travel the Silk Road through the Stans next year.
Every evening when I’m away enjoying travel and new experiences I raise a glass to my dad and I know that he would be happy knowing that I was using my inheritance to do wonderful things and enjoying it.

I’ve always had just enough to live on and have to live frugally. An unexpected bill means cutting out something else to pay it. I’ve never had holidays and buy my clothes in charity shops.
My extravagance is keeping 3 pets and I’m quite content.

Fallingstar

I just wish we had spent more on ourselves and enjoyed doing the things we thought were too costly because now my DH has had a massive stroke and I am his full time carer. Of course we did enjoy life and travelled etc., but we always held back on some things that we really wanted to do.
So a word from the wise, if you are still able to enjoy the good things in life and have the money to do so, don’t wait, it is later than you think.

I am in exactly the same position Fallingstar ….. sadly. My husband had a life changing Stroke 18 months ago and is now very disabled. 3 weeks ago he had a second Stroke and is just home from hospital.

We had some nice holidays abroad but I had to push him to go as he was always working. I just booked it and said “We’re going” and he did enjoy it when we got there. We could have done a lot more though and I do regret that. I miss walking together, going to the beach, just going out for the day, meeting friends etc and of course his days of motorbiking, horseriding are well and truly over.

Now I buy what I like and often don’t even look at prices. I keep telling him he will be the richest man in the graveyard! There is no point in being frugal now.

My neighbour is loaded but is incredibly tight. She is single with no kids just two needy nieces who will get all her money when she pops her clogs. I keep telling her to spend it on herself now but she wears castoffs and charity shop stuff and looks awful. She goes all day on a bowl of muesli, a bread roll with butter for lunch and some concoction which looks like vegetable water for her main meal.

Actually just a small percentage of people end their days in care homes so I hope I am one of those.

MissChateline

I inherited a small but life changing amount of money a couple of years ago. I decided to invest the majority of it to provide a monthly income but I kept a “nibbling fund” back.
For the first two years I was reluctant to spend any of it but I gave myself a good talking to and realised that I couldn’t take it with me.
I’m now enjoying doing so many of the things that I have always wanted to do. Hiking holidays abroad, renting a house in Portugal for 6 weeks and inviting friends and family to stay. I’ve made improvements to my house, new roof and carpets, a gym membership with a weekly personal trainer and cleaners once every couple of weeks. I am 71.
I’m now planning a trip of a lifetime to travel the Silk Road through the Stans next year.
Every evening when I’m away enjoying travel and new experiences I raise a glass to my dad and I know that he would be happy knowing that I was using my inheritance to do wonderful things and enjoying it.

That sounds lovely - good girl! 👏👏

I also inherited a very nice amount from my Mum in 2020 when she passed away and I haven’t even touched that yet but I will when the time is right as Mum always told me to enjoy myself while I could.

GrandMattie I am so sorry to read of your scamming experience and not being dealt with fairly. This has left you in a very precarious position as you say. Have you had any help from anyone? This is a lesson none of us want to learn. Once again I am so sorry.

Actually just a small percentage of people end their days in care homes so I hope I am one of those.

Between my husband and myself, two of our parents died in a care home (90 and 98), one died at home (86) looked after by their spouse, helped by carers, and that spouse is currently in a care home (95).

All four had or currently have dementia.

So do we save? Spend while we can? We're 69.

I honestly don't know what to do for the best some days 🤷🏼

I inherited a small but life changing amount of money
An oxymoron surely?

Just checked - less than 4% of people over 65 end up in a care home.

I was sure it was around that percentage as two solicitors told me this when we did our Wills.

Sending you Primrose.

Very sorry to read that your DH has had another stroke.

I hope he improves now he’s home again.

This time of my life is the rainy day!

It’s certainly a reassuring statistic Primrose but even those frail elderly folk still living at home often need assistance in the form of carers going in a few times a day, and as we have seen on here, even that adds up to a substantial amount of money.

For those who need an overnight carer would of course have to cough up even more.

Sorry to hear about your husband. A worrying time.

No, I've not got to that stage, neither will I.
I'm not really bothered, though, mostly.