Bridesmaids

Is it a thing?
15 years ago, DD2 had her gay friend as a brides-man - he sobbed his heart out! He’s now Aunty C to DGS2.

Surely he's a man of honour who happens to be gay.

times i move on I guess. i was a bridesmaid years ago with my cousin and the brides sister so all the family connections covered!

Videos of weddings in America that are on FB, seem to have loads of bridesmaids so I suppose it has come from there, but honestly 22!! That is absurd, if you have a gay friend I suppose you would like them involved.

Out of curiosity are they still married? Or was it all about the day but not life time commitment.

Smileless2012

Surely he's a man of honour who happens to be gay.

Spot on Smileless 👍

I went to one abraod, where there were 14 bridesmaids.
The bride regrets it now.

I was a bridesmaid just the once…..to my sister…..and I hated it! Not her or DBL or the fact they were getting married…….just all the fuss and palaver!
When I got married I had to have my OH two nieces and they were a pita to be fair……far too young…..one wanted her daddy all through the ceremony and then wet her pants in church!

I don't get what you mean OP by mulitple bridesmaids.

At the British weddings I have attended, there were always more than one bridesmaid. And judging by Hollywood films, American weddings always have lots of bridesmaids too.

I do not know if bridesmaids are purely a British and American idea, as in Denmark very few brides have bridesmaids, unless the bride already has a small child, apart from some of the royal weddings,
So how many are multiple bridesmaids?

My AC are at the age that they’re going to lots of weddings , both as guests and bridesmaids and best man . 7-10 seems to be the amount of bridesmaids. And one thing I’ve noticed is that the bridesmaids have the same colour dress but different styles , which I think is a good idea as one style doesn’t suit everyone.
My DS is gay and yes he’s been man of honour to one of his best female friends.

When the first of my daughters was married she had a friend’s eight year old and a sister’s two very little girls of 2 and 4, who behaved perfectly.
I was a bridesmaid to an aunt who chose the eldest girl in each of her siblings’ families. There were six of us which is multiple but fourteen bridesmaids is ridiculous.

I don’t see the point of having so many bridesmaids. I had only one( my goddaughter)who carried out the necessary duties.

I didn't have any bridesmaids, just a 'best woman'

I had two.
Didn't want any but gave in under parental pressure. Arranged with my two closest friends just 4 days before the wedding. They tried on every evening gown in the shop that there were two of and luckily this one style suited both of them. My mother altered them to fit perfectly.

They did look lovely though. One in dove grey one in a pale green. Same chiffon dresses... it was unusual to have different colours in those days.
Maybe it still is.

Two bridesmaids at our wedding my sister and his sister.
Traditional that the bestmaid ( the one who signs as witness) is godmother to the first child and the other bridesmaid godmother to the next..first one was fine ,second one my SIL didn,t make it to the church and spent the whole service driving round the town because she couldn,t remember what the church was called.
Our 10 year old daughter was Co opted by the minister as godmother.We were really pleased as she adored him from the day he was born …still does

Simple Registry office wedding, nearly 60 years ago. no bridesmaids no person of honour, no theme or colour scheme, no speeches, no meal out.
Instead we had sandwiches and sausage rolls in parents back garden with about 20 guests, many were friends of my mum.
Still married.

Here in Germany they usually have only the Trauzeugen, best friend each of the bride and groom, who witness their signatures. They often take over the organisation and generally help out. Then there may be a couple of small "flower children" who follow them into church and strew petals.

My eldest DS had a Catholic wedding with communion and all the trimmings and because he and his wife were well-known and well-loved in the parish, 25(!) altar boys and girls turned up!!

I think weddings here have been taken to a ridiculous level. We have seen weddings in Germany and France which were lovely because of their simplicity and traditions.

We are Europe but always seem to follow what USA does, I have no idea why and regret that we do.

When I got married I had just 2 bridesmaids who were close friends.

I have 5 female cousins and wouldn't have picked one or two without the others, but I just didn't want all 5, due to the expense of it, so it was fairer not to have any of them.

When I got married my only bridesmaid/matron of honour was my gran. She was 89. Had been married and widowed twice, but had never been a bridesmaid before. She danced the best man off his feet at the reception... he was 22!!

Perhaps some brides find it hard to choose just a few bridesmaids, especially if they and their husband-to-be have sisters and cousins. Who do you choose and who do you leave out?
My eldest GD gets married next May and she has her only sister and her 3 closest friends as bridesmaids.

At my own wedding I had my youngest sister as a very cute bridesmaid. She was 20 years younger than me, only 2, so she looked very lovely in a long red velvet dress with a little white ruff at the neck, rather like a choirgirl, made by my mother. She had a ball of lovely narcissus on a ribbon that went over her wrist and smelt beautiful. (I chose that as it was simple for her to carry and was a precious reminder of my beloved granny) She behaved very well, and was actually the best dressed , as the weather had been lovely and daffodils out in the gardens etc, Then on the day it snowed, and the lightweight outfits of the guests were abandoned for warmer outfits and coats etc.

Naturally as a yorkshire woman, and someone who was determined to have what I want but not spend a fortune, I managed to find a wedding dress that suited me that I liked in a sale, and a very happy day was had by all. No upsets or incidents on the day, just the families joining together. Even if I had won the pools , I wouldnt have spent a fortune on an outfit. Our money was saved towards getting a house, and we bought good quality second hand furniture, the odd piece I still have today! I have a book which contains pressed flowers from my wedding added to by other flowers from important occasions in my life. Not worth money but a priceless reminder of lovely days in my past.

Each to their own of course, but I dont understand the attitude today, which seems so much about show and spending money on the - to me - wrong things. Many people these days are getting married after living together for some time, possibly having children already etc. They either spend a fortune on the actual day, or go in for marrying abroad and spending a great deal on the travelling etc., yet not seeming to consider the possibilities of marrying under a different system of law to their own home country etc. The thought of the amount of debt or worry that this all causes would definitely take the edge off the wedding day for me and seems to give extra possibilities of extra things to go wrong.

A lovely wedding I went to in Germany many years ago , was I think Luthern. There ,the bride and groom arrived together in the same car surrounded by beautiful flowers. At the church there was the wooden, arched, gateway and all the members of both families lined up from the gate to the church door. The symbolism was lovely, as each family lined either side of the path. Then as the bridal couple walked through the lines , the families joined in behind them so that father of the bride walked in with mother of the groom, mother of the bride with the father of the groom etc. Then everyone walked into the church and there was no separate sides for the two families but the joined together groups sat mingled together. I thought that was lovely and so much nicer than the separate way of congregations in weddings here. Ah well as they say "Nowt so queer as folk" but it would be a major worry and poor start to married life together to owe thousands of pounds and have nothing to show for it in a lasting way, in my view.

madeleine45 - whilst I agree largely that many marriage ceremonies seem to be about the wedding rather than the marriage it's rather harsh to say have nothing to show for it in a lasting way when, just like you, with their different choices, they will still have memories of that day.

We don't all make the same choices (thank goodness) - and whilst a house deposit is an investment in the future - some people feel that of a mad over the top day to remember.

My husband was reprimand by his mother for spending a "ridiculous sum" on my engagement ring when he could have invested it or used it as a deposit.
We were married as students. How long would we have waited for a house?
We moved about 10 times in our first 6 years together. The ring came with us...

My personal observation of the people I know is hardly representative but it seems that, the bigger the fuss, the shorter the marriage. My BF's DD had a huge engagement party, two big hen do's, two ceremonies, loads of bridesmaids, a lavish reception, and an expensive honeymoon. The marriage didn't even make it to the paper anniversary.

Conversely, I have been to several weddings that have been registry office, no bridesmaids, just witnesses, then down the pub and back to work on Monday. The marriages are still going strong after several decades.