Feeling like im on the slippery slope!!!

I think I’m spoiled by having catchup tv, DVD’s to watch and podcasts to listen to. I just love podcasts ( my current favourite is Book Club). I know it sounds a bit sad but I look on the people doing them almost as friends. I do wonder if I’m make more effort to get out and about if I didn’t have such things to watch or listen to.

Yes, I desperately do not want to take part in boring conversations and small talk. I don’t want to be bothered with airports anymore but just holiday in the UK. I don’t want to be on any committees, or lead anything, or give lectures and talks. I have cut down on volunteering. I’ve been there, done all that.

I just want to meet up with my 4 or 5 good local friends for coffees, lunches, concerts, events, none of which I am responsible for! Lie back, enjoying the efforts of others. I’m not lazy, I’ve taken my turn.

This year I have at last acknowledged I feel physically older. I’m 86 and a widow, but am still me and am mentally and emotionally as strong as ever, just physically slowing down.

I was becoming housebound, putting everything off. I’ve signed up to walk 30 miles in September in aid of Cancer Research.I still have to force myself through the front door and am only walking as far as my impaired mobility allows. I find once I actually get out I have unexpected interactions and conversations which remind me I am in a world full of people who are mostly perfectly reasonable and may even be really pleasant! I called on someone I hadn’t seen for a while, prepared for her to not feel like a visitor but found her extremely pleased to see me. She had been in hospital, isn’t in good health, and enjoyed chatting about grandchildren and jobs we did years ago.This afternoon I sat on a wall for a rest and chatted for about 15 minutes with someone about 20 years younger who had just retired and is looking forward to having more time to himself. I wonder who I might meet tomorrow!

travels afar - seems like you are beginning to suffer from social anxiety and if I were you I would ask your GP for some counselling since a little talking therapy might help iron out the reasons why this is happening. You belong to social groups, you have been doing your shopping yourself and at different places, yet you are now rejecting this pattern of living in favour of sitting at home, not even watching the news, but becoming a recluse effectively, not even wanting to bother family. These are red flags so unless you are becoming infirm and worried about falling or needing the loo a little too frequently, find out the underlying reasons for withdrawing from society. Try some closer social groups so that if you really feel you need to get home quicker, you can if you can socialise in the day rather than when it gets darker do that too. There might well be a safety element tied in with your anxiety. Good luck.

I would rather stay home, i very rarely go out anymore, its just not worth the effort. Husband does the shopping or i do it online.

GoldenAge

travels afar - seems like you are beginning to suffer from social anxiety and if I were you I would ask your GP for some counselling since a little talking therapy might help iron out the reasons why this is happening. You belong to social groups, you have been doing your shopping yourself and at different places, yet you are now rejecting this pattern of living in favour of sitting at home, not even watching the news, but becoming a recluse effectively, not even wanting to bother family. These are red flags so unless you are becoming infirm and worried about falling or needing the loo a little too frequently, find out the underlying reasons for withdrawing from society. Try some closer social groups so that if you really feel you need to get home quicker, you can if you can socialise in the day rather than when it gets darker do that too. There might well be a safety element tied in with your anxiety. Good luck.

Red flags? Social anxiety? Withdrawing from society? Becoming a recluse? Well, I must be suffering with the same problem then. If asked, my response would be, I find so many people and things that are 'expected' of me in society to be dull and boring. I don't want to hear about little Jonny wonderful, or make another picture or painting, or have a coffee morning with moaning minnies. I prefer my own company and doing my own thing. If honest, I was always very bright, and now in old age find I cut to the chase and remove anything that does not interest me.

This could be me and I would resist the people who are trying to liven you up and drag you out of the house. I used to travel the world solo and have dealt with customer and client groups all my life. I am now often sick to death of people and don't want their problems and interruptions into my day. I try to do everything by email or home delivery so I dont have to go out and interact as little as possible. I have done more than my bit for the community and retirement is supposed to be "easy street" so I don't feel in the least guilty in keeping myself to myself.

Thanks to many who are going through the same feelings about just wanting to stay at home and not go out.
I was very gregarious, and used to go on coach trips abroad and in this country on my own, but three years ago I fell and and injured my shoulder badly.
Unfortunately I lost confidence my husband now has to do the shopping for me. So I haven’t been outside for a long time.
However, I found that YTube has been a big help as I discovered that there are many videos of people travelling abroad or country side walks , visiting historic houses, even bus trips that I can watch on my 50 sized big screen and feel that I am there . It’s helped me so much and Ilook forward to a new journey every day. It’s the best thing that has helped me.

Until fairly recently much of the world’s and local news was screened out from us; tv & radio bulletins simply didn’t have the time.
Now with the internet it’s world -wide news, universal opinions, thrust at us 24/7. So yes, I can understand the retreat of our (& other) generations into safe spaces.

Flopsey

Thanks to many who are going through the same feelings about just wanting to stay at home and not go out.
I was very gregarious, and used to go on coach trips abroad and in this country on my own, but three years ago I fell and and injured my shoulder badly.
Unfortunately I lost confidence my husband now has to do the shopping for me. So I haven’t been outside for a long time.
However, I found that YTube has been a big help as I discovered that there are many videos of people travelling abroad or country side walks , visiting historic houses, even bus trips that I can watch on my 50 sized big screen and feel that I am there . It’s helped me so much and Ilook forward to a new journey every day. It’s the best thing that has helped me.

Your post reminded me of our holiday in China.
I’ve seen more of the Terracotta Army on tv than I saw at the site.😂

Faxgran

Until fairly recently much of the world’s and local news was screened out from us; tv & radio bulletins simply didn’t have the time.
Now with the internet it’s world -wide news, universal opinions, thrust at us 24/7. So yes, I can understand the retreat of our (& other) generations into safe spaces.

This is very very true and does have an effect on many people including me, I try not to watch too much of it but then I find myself watching bits of it 🤨
“Ignorance is bliss”. So true…..

Flopsey

Thanks to many who are going through the same feelings about just wanting to stay at home and not go out.
I was very gregarious, and used to go on coach trips abroad and in this country on my own, but three years ago I fell and and injured my shoulder badly.
Unfortunately I lost confidence my husband now has to do the shopping for me. So I haven’t been outside for a long time.
However, I found that YTube has been a big help as I discovered that there are many videos of people travelling abroad or country side walks , visiting historic houses, even bus trips that I can watch on my 50 sized big screen and feel that I am there . It’s helped me so much and Ilook forward to a new journey every day. It’s the best thing that has helped me.

Me too. I watch Cornish walking trails amongst other things. I miss going to Cornwall so much ( I lived there at one time and we used to go back for holidays when the kids were young).

I used to watch programmes about walks in the Lake District and cry because I was unlikely to go again. I now think how lucky I was to be there at all and cherish my memories.

Elrel - fantastic that you have signed up to walk 30 miles! Best of luck.

Elrel

I used to watch programmes about walks in the Lake District and cry because I was unlikely to go again. I now think how lucky I was to be there at all and cherish my memories.

We students, used to do a lot of walking and climbing in the lake district, sometimes going out on exercise with RAF mountain rescue. Then we two lived near Kendal for four years and it was the best time, always out walking with children in our rucksack carriers. I too miss the lake district so much and those days when we were fit and when we were two and our social scene was fantastic

No point looking back except to re-kindle happy memories and know that our adventures live again, through our AC but not in the Lake District. The happiness then did leave its mark even now

friendlygingercat

This could be me and I would resist the people who are trying to liven you up and drag you out of the house. I used to travel the world solo and have dealt with customer and client groups all my life. I am now often sick to death of people and don't want their problems and interruptions into my day. I try to do everything by email or home delivery so I dont have to go out and interact as little as possible. I have done more than my bit for the community and retirement is supposed to be "easy street" so I don't feel in the least guilty in keeping myself to myself.

Personally, I find social media the worst.

The outside world to me is a breeze.

Perhaps I will feel different in 20 years time or so.

I use social media to harden myself up!
That is definitely part of the reason.