Advice about a present given

Oh! That’s quite rude.

Could you not call the person and simply ask?

Id say thank you at the time and assume that was enough.

I wonder
1) how many people were at this 80th party?
2) How many thank you letters the recipient might be obliged to write?
3) Whether the name attached to the gift contained enough information for a thank you note?
If people say thank you in person that should suffice however much our mothers drummed into us the importance of Thank you letters.
I was recently invited to a 90th and the invitation stated clearly NO PRESENTS on the basis that by 90 (or indeed 80) we all have more than enough “stuff”as evidenced by all the decluttering threads here on GN!

I don't understand the reference to it being broken.

MissAdventure

Id say thank you at the time and assume that was enough.

Me too.

I wouldn't find it at all odd not to get a letter, or any other communication unless I had posted the gift and there was a chance it may not have arrived.

I suppose if you wrote a letter of thanks for the gift, and heard nothing back, you might worry they'd not recieved it, and would think you rude...

The OP says that ‘she left the gift where she was told to’ which implies that she wasn’t thanked by the recipient.
I would expect a note of thanks or an email or text of thanks from the birthday boy/ girl tbh.

Ah, I think I understand, so it was a surprise party, guests arrived first, gifts all left together, perhaps on a table, then guests shuffled into a room (maybe), then surprised “host” escorted in?

And maybe all the presents were opened one after the other as often happens with children at Christmas. It all gets a bit frantic as one gift after another is pushed at the child. Open this! Open this!

In the end, nobody can remember who gifted what and all the wrappings have already been scooped up and put in the recycling.

I wouldn’t worry about it. The pleasure is in the giving.

Who was organising the party? Were you invited by them or someone else? Could you perhaps get in touch with them and tactfully ask a few questions (without implying that you feel grumpy about it)? Were the gifts opened at the party or afterwards? For one thing, it does seem odd to have an organised "do" but not include a gift-opening session, saying thankyou as each one is opened (and saving the gift tags for later letters if necessary). If you were there, surely you would have noticed what happened to the pile of gifts? It's all rather confusing.

That was my thought too Graphite.

Could you send a message / card / text saying that you hope they’re enjoying using the cup and saucer?
You don’t say how well you know the birthday person.

It's nice to get thanks for presents,but doesn't always happen these days .
Don't worry about it .

If I had been thanked at the time of giving the gift I would not expect a thank you through the post.
Also, take into consideration the cost of postage stamps if a large number of thank you letters required posting.

Very valid point (the postage!)

I would have expected a thankyou,but I would give it time, maybe the next time I see the recipient, no rush

I'd sooner not get presents if they came with "rules".

Oh I absolutely hate not getting a thankyou . I always wonder if they received it . I've often left carefully chosen gifts on tables at parties and never heard a word afterwards . I'm old school I'm afraid , I like to acknowledge gifts and the thoughtfulness that has gone into them. It's not much to ask, they're not opened on the night so a notebook and pen when opening and a quick watsapp afterwards .
We left a bottle of moet on a 60th gift table and also a lovely solar lantern , not a word of thanks afterwards .

I’m another who thinks that at 80 or 90 no one probably wants or needs more cups and saucers, vases, decorative plates, ornaments, …..

Most will end up in charity shops.

Harsh I know, but that’s the truth.

‘No presents’ is the way to go, and mean it.

JenniferS2324 it’s not clear from your post if you were thanked on the night?
If you were, then that would be all I would want. Otherwise, yes, I would expect a thank you text at some point.

I’m in the ‘no presents’ camp too.

Let it go. The person is 80 and perhaps labels and cards were muddled during present opening. You went, you gave, job done. Move on.

Oh yes.... no presents is definitely the way to go. A lovely card with a hand written note recalling happy times and memories I would prefer.
But I can understand OP hoping her gifts were opened safely. I dont know what the answer is. Perhaps next time she visits the birthday person she can ask in a friendly way when they talk about the party.
If she doesn't visit or generally communicate then she must just let it go. One of life's mysteries.

Some of our grandchildren are like this. I think it is rude. Others are very polite, a bit of a contrast. Depends how their parents bring them up. My Mum used to make me write thank you letters for the smallest gift and now I am glad she did ( not so keen when I was little !) I remember years ago spending what was then a lot of money on our nephew’s wedding present, packing it up and sending it to England. No word of thanks whatsoever. I know they got it because I asked his father. Anyway, that was the last Pressie they got from us !

My mum mum made me write thank yous, too.
So now, with no mum to appease, I do what I want.

If someone took a present, in person, to the venue, it's pretty obvious the recipient got it.